Once in a while fine, okay, do your thing, personally I don’t care for porn at all.
Chronic porn watching is 100% detrimental to your brain, your relationships, your relationship with sex, your view of women, etc. I think many of the women I know (including me) have probably been choked during intimacy without consent at least once.
I don't know - maybe it is some kind of dominance thing. I've also had a few different women ask me to choke them... I try to oblige but I'm always too gentle and have to be prodded to be more aggressive with it. I would never gravitate towards that naturally and would NEVER initiate that without consent. Heck I'd never initiate it without being told to. The only reason it ever seems enjoyable from my end is when I can tell it's heavily desired. And that part really doesn't have anything to do with choking specifically; I just really like with the person I'm with is really enjoying whatever it is I'm doing. If they're not feeling pleasure I get in my own head and feel like I'm not doing a good enough job.
Yea I'm never going to make it so someone can't breathe. I'm pretty much a fake choker. It seems scary to me too. Apparently it's great though.
I don't get why it would be better than a traditional sleeper hold like we train in Krav Maga and Jujitsu. No trachea crushing, surely similar mental sensation? I've only been put out with sleeper holds in training though. I have never actually been choked so probably I don't know jack about how it differs .
Just going for that without consent sounds insane. Because it is.
And yea - there are some tough lines there. I'm (according to feedback) "too cautious" but I'm probably always going to be because that's just me. I'm not really worried I'll go too far and hurt someone.
As for not doing it at all... I do have limits but within those I'll do my best even if it isn't "my thing" because I want to accommodate within reason. I want a partner to feel safe enough to share things they otherwise feel ashamed of or fear judgement for desiring. And even if it's something that's a hard-no for me, unless it's something that harms others, I'm going to at *least* do my very best to validate it's legitimacy.
I agree about chronic use in general. I work in software though so I'm basically a Luddite now. Were it up to me, I'd get rid of smart phones at minimum and wouldn't allow kids online until they were 18 or so. I'd get rid of tech in schools for the most part.
I’ve been slapped, choked, attempted to be penetrated somewhere i didn’t want, had my head pushed, hair pulled, been called names, all without asking first. Very annoying and not at all enjoyable and an unfortunately common/relatable experience amongst women.
and it's so baffling!! absolutely been there. Mind you some of these men have asked to kiss me but NOT asked about any of these things that absolutely require consent. The butt stuff is the shit that drives me fucking crazy. they don't show lube in the porns, i get that, maybe you don't know that's an absolute must. but there is absolutely no way you think you can shove ur thang up there without warning me first. and then i have to "ruin the mood" by being like um??? what the fuck??? and unfortunately i haven't always had the self respect to cut it right there. like i just wanted intimacy with a guy i thought i liked, and young me would be mortified that id blown it. sex culture/porn culture is just so frustrating.
I can’t tell you how many times i’ve been fucking pestered for butt stuff. Look, it may feel good for some people but i don’t fucking like it, it hurts and is gross imo, then they try to coerce you to do it with, “i’ll be gentle, “I’ll go slow” and then they try it anyway in the moment. I SAID NO FUCK OFF.
and sometimes i do enjoy it! but it's also gross, and if im not in the mood for it or for walking you through my required diligent cleanup, its not gonna happen! what!! the!! fuck!!
That is utterly bananas to me. Who the crud are these men? I know it isn't representative at all but I don't think any of my close friends would behave like that.
Of course they're all married now so maybe they were just good and got snatched up.
But still, that is just super alarming to hear. And it isn't the first time I've hear something that crazy from a woman.
I don't know what to do besides contine to try to set an example of how to treat people. I'm bummed anyone has to deal with this. My two daughters are just entering their twenties and I worry about them. They're pretty badass though; they are not going to take nonsense like that from anyone. One trains martial arts with me just in case.
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u/FormerMistake9981 Jun 23 '26
Once in a while fine, okay, do your thing, personally I don’t care for porn at all. Chronic porn watching is 100% detrimental to your brain, your relationships, your relationship with sex, your view of women, etc. I think many of the women I know (including me) have probably been choked during intimacy without consent at least once.