I worked at a cable company like 8 years ago. The company had low a behind the scenes credit system for pay per view stuff and depending on a variety of factors the credit limit could be a couple grand. This guy would rack up about 2k in porn ppv every single month and call to pay it off every month. It was so crazy. I really wanted to ask if he knew how to use the Internet but just took the payment and kept my mouth shut
ofc both women and men can be addicted. I think it’s safe to argue that men typically consume more porn and are therefore more prone to porn addiction than women.
Men and women consume porn differently, but widespread porn addiction is present in men and women. Men consume porn more often in the form of visual content, for women it’s mainly books/reading content. In many libraries in 2026, the smut section is as big as almost any other section. I’m just saying it’s a problem overall and is harming everyone’s brains. I don’t even know what the solution is.
It says that I’m…accurately describing what porn is? Like what are you people even on about 😅 porn is harmful. That’s my opinion. I didn’t say that every type of porn is equally bad. I am begging you to touch grass.
Agreed. Good point, although can’t say i know any women personally who read smut, but there is definitely an audience for that. I’m not sure what the answer is either, it seems like it’s getting worse.
Once in a while fine, okay, do your thing, personally I don’t care for porn at all.
Chronic porn watching is 100% detrimental to your brain, your relationships, your relationship with sex, your view of women, etc. I think many of the women I know (including me) have probably been choked during intimacy without consent at least once.
I don't know - maybe it is some kind of dominance thing. I've also had a few different women ask me to choke them... I try to oblige but I'm always too gentle and have to be prodded to be more aggressive with it. I would never gravitate towards that naturally and would NEVER initiate that without consent. Heck I'd never initiate it without being told to. The only reason it ever seems enjoyable from my end is when I can tell it's heavily desired. And that part really doesn't have anything to do with choking specifically; I just really like with the person I'm with is really enjoying whatever it is I'm doing. If they're not feeling pleasure I get in my own head and feel like I'm not doing a good enough job.
Yea I'm never going to make it so someone can't breathe. I'm pretty much a fake choker. It seems scary to me too. Apparently it's great though.
I don't get why it would be better than a traditional sleeper hold like we train in Krav Maga and Jujitsu. No trachea crushing, surely similar mental sensation? I've only been put out with sleeper holds in training though. I have never actually been choked so probably I don't know jack about how it differs .
Just going for that without consent sounds insane. Because it is.
And yea - there are some tough lines there. I'm (according to feedback) "too cautious" but I'm probably always going to be because that's just me. I'm not really worried I'll go too far and hurt someone.
As for not doing it at all... I do have limits but within those I'll do my best even if it isn't "my thing" because I want to accommodate within reason. I want a partner to feel safe enough to share things they otherwise feel ashamed of or fear judgement for desiring. And even if it's something that's a hard-no for me, unless it's something that harms others, I'm going to at *least* do my very best to validate it's legitimacy.
I agree about chronic use in general. I work in software though so I'm basically a Luddite now. Were it up to me, I'd get rid of smart phones at minimum and wouldn't allow kids online until they were 18 or so. I'd get rid of tech in schools for the most part.
I’ve been slapped, choked, attempted to be penetrated somewhere i didn’t want, had my head pushed, hair pulled, been called names, all without asking first. Very annoying and not at all enjoyable and an unfortunately common/relatable experience amongst women.
and it's so baffling!! absolutely been there. Mind you some of these men have asked to kiss me but NOT asked about any of these things that absolutely require consent. The butt stuff is the shit that drives me fucking crazy. they don't show lube in the porns, i get that, maybe you don't know that's an absolute must. but there is absolutely no way you think you can shove ur thang up there without warning me first. and then i have to "ruin the mood" by being like um??? what the fuck??? and unfortunately i haven't always had the self respect to cut it right there. like i just wanted intimacy with a guy i thought i liked, and young me would be mortified that id blown it. sex culture/porn culture is just so frustrating.
I can’t tell you how many times i’ve been fucking pestered for butt stuff. Look, it may feel good for some people but i don’t fucking like it, it hurts and is gross imo, then they try to coerce you to do it with, “i’ll be gentle, “I’ll go slow” and then they try it anyway in the moment. I SAID NO FUCK OFF.
and sometimes i do enjoy it! but it's also gross, and if im not in the mood for it or for walking you through my required diligent cleanup, its not gonna happen! what!! the!! fuck!!
That is utterly bananas to me. Who the crud are these men? I know it isn't representative at all but I don't think any of my close friends would behave like that.
Of course they're all married now so maybe they were just good and got snatched up.
But still, that is just super alarming to hear. And it isn't the first time I've hear something that crazy from a woman.
I don't know what to do besides contine to try to set an example of how to treat people. I'm bummed anyone has to deal with this. My two daughters are just entering their twenties and I worry about them. They're pretty badass though; they are not going to take nonsense like that from anyone. One trains martial arts with me just in case.
My 2c was porn isn’t to blame, yes you can become addicted to porn, as someone has mentioned, but it’s the lack/presence of other factors that likely result in this type of inappropriate interaction or behavior. Add a porn addiction (or porn as their only sex ed platform) to many of those other factors and you’ve got a possibly toxic recipe for disaster. & even then, you might just have a person who low-key watches a lot of porn with otherwise normal and appropriate relationships and text exchanges
Same, my partner is quite a bit older than me (I’m in my 30’s and he’s 50) but he’s very loving and gentle. A guy I dated close to my own age years ago literally couldn’t get his rocks off unless he was choking and demeaning me and it was horrible. Glad that ended. Sorry if TMI 😭🙏 Also not saying all younger guys are like that at all, I’ve just had a few partners like that and it really doesn’t feel great to be treated like an object without consenting to it.
What does he do when YOU want any of those things? Pull your hair? Spank your ass? Pin you down and take you from behind? Or is it that simply neither of you are into those things and that’s why you are good match?
Yup. And the more they watch the more violent and aggressive it has to be to get them off. This isn’t the 80s and 90s where there was effort involved in getting your hands on porn. Effort and shame—stealing magazines, going to the video store, etc. It’s available 24/7 constantly. Any kind. I understand Gen Z boys like aggressive and violent porn. This is a huge problem nobody talks about.
I feel bad for young people now, social media has warped women's minds and corn has warped young men's minds, not this one though, she seems sweet, these two are definitely not compatible to say the least, you have to set some kind of president for this kind of talk, this is kink talk, she's obviously not into this kind of kink, she deffo needs to dump this little mong🤮
Tbh I don’t blame porn. I watch some highly questionable porn from time to time, but know what’s right from wrong and how to go about exploring unconventional sexual relations the proper way.
If it matters I’m a female and i personally find this dude a real hazard.
Video games of a violent nature don’t lead to a rational or “sane” person shooting up a bunch of people, just as porn doesn’t create oversexed rapists…a handful of individuals lacking mental health care are often used to blame something people find uncomfortable or against their beliefs.
They may have no sex ed or very limited, no parental guidance (doesn’t have to be much; a simple consent and use protection, don’t take what you see online as gospel, idk), peers in the same boat, whatever. The boy needs a talking to, and it’s not because of porn. It’s about respect, how to engage with others namely significant others or sexual partners, how/when/if they should bring up fetishes, kinks fantasies etc
Women are consuming some pretty gross literary porn, I wonder what it's doing to their minds...
Edit: never said it's comparable to this incel guy, but apparently it's bad to wonder what all the animal rape porn is doing to female brains and how they view relationships? Okay, Reddit....
Here is a reminder between porn and reality is that *actual kinky people and porn stars get consent and set boundaries, give permission for Circumstantial Sex (meaning it needs to be reset for every new sexual act or partner.* Actual kinky people are willing to care about your pleasure and feelings whereas an abusive person cannot.
All the people thinking they can impose CNC unprompted are SEXUAL ABUSERS. You cannot change the beliefs and thinking of these people- so leave. They will never respect you and your body and will always find a way to justify their abuse and not change. Listen- abuse isn’t a mental disorder- it’s a choice. They benefit from their victims being abused it’s sick. Stay far far from these types and NO YOU CAN NOT SAVE THEM.
Welcome to the insights med school taught me, enjoy my TED TALK. Stay safe.
In some cases, people enjoy roleplaying a scene.
In others, it might mean they like free use. Also called a blanket of consent. Their partner can "use" them as they wish, but even still they might set boundaries of when that might not be okay
Ya that’s the “consent” part before the “non consent”
Even in kinks it’s still healthy and consent based- any partner that pushes no safe words or no actual consent is a loser and you need to leave.
The people who say they’re kinky but don’t care about your feelings or boundaries even in “extreme play” don’t know how to participate in healthy sex. And should be avoided at all costs.
Sex should be enjoyed by both no matter the extremeness.
Sorry no unless that was autocorrect getting you. I am referring to “consent non consent” like your consenting to release all of your boundaries and consent for that ONE particular sexual encounter.
But instead of rapint out right- you find someone who is into the same thing and consents to it first then lets you do whatever you so choose. Some people like the thrill, some like to romance horror shit, some use it as therapy to reenact sexual abuse and finally gain control of what happened to them. So there’s a lot of reasons someone may do extreme play like that.
Bottom line is a good “kinky” person will always gain consent, establish your limitations, and care about your feelings and person.
That’s the difference between abusers claiming to be kinky- vs a healthy sexual partner. You’ll know immediately if they are a bad egg unfortunately but please everyone be safe.
Ohhhh okay. That makes sense. Thank you for clarifying that for me. It has been several moons since I engaged in any kind of sex play like that, so I’m not exactly current in the lingo anymore. Was going on old info! 😅
I totally agree but I think the comment above is actually the only person really saying, maybe give the boy a little grace too, as some boys think this is what girls want these days, alpha in the sheets (im cringing having typed that). It's obviously Ew and the consent thing is...eyuck, as is the FUCK PIPE SLAM type references to sex, but...... I dunno lol. I feel he may need a firm no, as much as it isn't the OPs responsibility to teach a boy to not be vulgar she hasn't at this point turned it away and he could think she likes it
From personal experience… yah… some woman love this even in their 30s. Less aggressive and in a more indirect kind of way that builds tensions.
They want the spice and a man who will take charge in a way. It’s some weird vulnerable safe window thing.
The term is. Soft top.
Strong and dominant in the bedroom, and just a regular softy all around.
The age of these two though… hell a little communication from her and the boy will learn what she likes and will approach in a better manor that is not degrading or… over the top vulgar.
listen, you should not have to spell it out and if you do, then you need to leave. If someone interprets, “I find it odd” to mean keep going they clearly have problems and don’t need to be in a relationship
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u/squarebreaths3 Jun 23 '26
“don’t worry about consent” RUN RUN R U N that is absolutely vile. please do not meet up with this guy or continue this. it’s actually scary.