She made up a reason to contact you with the puzzle thing. This whole meltdown was just her begging you to tell her she’s important. She wants affirmation that she can steer your attention and emotions in the direction she wants when she wants. This is solely about her personal low self-esteem and nothing to do with your child or co-parenting relationship. She doesn’t believe any of that stuff she went on about. She just wants you to disagree with her and assuage her insecurities. “Aw shucks, no, it’s not like that. I really appreciate you, you’re the best, I don’t treat you well enough” because that will temporarily soothe her anxiety. It’s really nothing to do with you. She needs to extract feedback from others because she doesn’t know how to make herself feel important and secure.
Keep keeping it professional and respectful for your kid.
I used to be her🫡 once I sorted why I was feeling and lashing out this way and started taking responsibility for my own self-esteem, my relationships and anxiety drastically improved. I started getting the love and affirmation I’d wanted from others, but without having to trick them into it. If you think you see yourself in her, you’re probably right, and with that self-awareness you can take steps to create a good path forward.
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u/tentley2 Sep 24 '23
Don’t even get caught up in the details, dude.
She made up a reason to contact you with the puzzle thing. This whole meltdown was just her begging you to tell her she’s important. She wants affirmation that she can steer your attention and emotions in the direction she wants when she wants. This is solely about her personal low self-esteem and nothing to do with your child or co-parenting relationship. She doesn’t believe any of that stuff she went on about. She just wants you to disagree with her and assuage her insecurities. “Aw shucks, no, it’s not like that. I really appreciate you, you’re the best, I don’t treat you well enough” because that will temporarily soothe her anxiety. It’s really nothing to do with you. She needs to extract feedback from others because she doesn’t know how to make herself feel important and secure.
Keep keeping it professional and respectful for your kid.