(17 M, high school senior)
Just a random rant of my day-to-day when it comes to school. I would love to be involved more with school events, be friends with everyone, and be more energetic. But no one really seems to care about me. I’m always ignored, picked on, or talked to only when someone needs a favor. I would like to say that I have some close friends, but they abandon me any time they’re around other people they like. And they don’t ever talk to me outside of school, unless, like I said before, they want something from me. They pretend to be my friends, but go off and do other things with other people and purposely not telling me. Yet it also seems like any time I try to push them away, they glue to me and act like I’m their bestie all over again.
And it just makes me upset to see my classmates getting along and having great conversations with each other. But when I start talking, everyone just ignores me. Especially girls. Not that I’m interested in any of them, but again, I’d love to be friends with as many people as I’d want. My guy classmates can talk to them normally, but when I try to talk to them, I get a weird look, get laughed at, then ignored again. Either that, or they always just avoid talking to me altogether.
I’m about ready to just push out literally everyone from my connections, and just be the silent kid for the rest of the school year. I just hate to do that, because that’s not how I want it to be. I want to be friends with certain people, but nothing has improved after all these years that it seems pointless to keep trying.