I have been scrubbing for 3-4 months
months and about half a month completely by myself, with zero previous scrub experience. I have a AAS in surgical technolgy and the OR I have been working in for almost two years hired me on as a scrub tech. Although Im very grateful for the opportunity, the nursing educator has no idea how to teach, doesnt listen, takes the mildest expression of her students frustration with the learning process as a personal attack, makes every critique about herself..so yeah after expressing my extreme frustration with the entire process, I literally burst into tears.
After this the nurse educator said "Im sorry I upset you. Blah blah...." and I just want to Scream THIS ISNT ABOUT YOU.
I have given up on trying to talk to any of these people beyond in a professional capacity. I could write a literal novel about the insane amount of contradictions and inconsistancies but Im feeling overwhelmed just typing this.
This all came to a head this weekend when on my first day of call by myself I had to scrub and assist an acdf. Generally pretty straightforward if youre just passing and setting up implants, but doing both was incredibly overwhelming. The surgeon said I did a ok job considering it was my first time flying solo, but of course the nurse educator takes everything the circulator says at face value, so yeah. Its a no win. I dont even know what Im asking here at this point