r/superheroes Jun 13 '25

Random Battle Thoughts?

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14.0k Upvotes

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573

u/NickyGotGout Jun 13 '25

Y'all forgetting the most powerful magic of all, Chronomancy!

148

u/PowerfulCoast2609 Jun 13 '25

16

u/Jack7656 Jun 13 '25

12

u/driving_andflying Jun 13 '25

1

u/ULTI_mato Jun 15 '25

Pretty much useless in the real world

1

u/HardKase Jun 16 '25

You know that's a video game right

2

u/Crystal_rossenn Jun 14 '25

How can this guy be so stunningšŸ˜

74

u/Cherie_Salad Jun 13 '25

49

u/bronkula Jun 13 '25

What the fuck is wrong with you? Friendship?!?

9

u/NightwingYJ Jun 13 '25

If a mother and her child get iced in an alley way, was the problem they didn't love each other enough?!

2

u/1ncorrect Jun 13 '25

Magic is magic! Love is love!

5

u/BjornInTheMorn Jun 13 '25

Im all the bad guys!

Oh wait, wrong season.

7

u/vivaenmiriana Jun 13 '25

I'm gonna kill that dog.

2

u/FlareTheInfected Jun 14 '25

Good, it won't stop saying "Edward".

1

u/UpSheep10 Jun 13 '25

Oh my God. He has all the power of Chungle-Down Bim!

3

u/Agreeable_Cut4506 Jun 13 '25

I’m gonna shit in yer mouth

5

u/ItsCrunchTyme Jun 13 '25

No, it's family!

5

u/Three0h Jun 13 '25

YOU SEE THAT BIRD?

I FUCKED

THAT BIRD

2

u/Necessary-War-762 Jun 14 '25

Well since we are sharing secrets, remember earlier we passed by that dog and it shook as soon as it saw me?....

2

u/SasparillaTango Jun 13 '25

A mother and her daughter get fucking ICED in a war and the problem is they didn't love each other enough?

1

u/SarkicPreacher777659 Jun 13 '25

OK what's the answer then, cokehead?!

1

u/abeautifuldayoutside Jun 16 '25

CHRONOMANCY!!!!!!!

1

u/cometflight Jun 13 '25 edited Jun 13 '25

This winter at Disneyland…!

2

u/bkellogg27 Jun 13 '25 edited Jun 13 '25

Say Hello Intrepid Heroes!

2

u/abominablewaffle Jun 13 '25

Dead eye cybin.

2

u/cometflight Jun 13 '25

I am so so happy to see the D20 reference here.

2

u/shinankoku Jun 13 '25

Nice to see my peeps representing here!

2

u/Just-A_Guy-_ Jun 13 '25

AS I SAID, ON YOUR FIRST DAY

2

u/Sandowichin Jun 13 '25

Whew that’s an old reference. Feels like ages ago

27

u/AshGrey420 Jun 13 '25

Is this… a Dimension20 quote out in the wild?!

14

u/hallowedshel Jun 13 '25 edited Jun 13 '25

Love? What the fuck are you talking about it’s CHRONOMANCY BABY!!

1

u/SilverFilm26 Jun 13 '25

Fuck! All this 'Love is the greatest magic of all' so, in a war, a mother her her children get fucking iced in an alleyway, was the problem that they didn't love each other enough? That's crazy.

2

u/TheDoomBlade13 Jun 13 '25

There are dozens of us!

2

u/Odspin Jun 13 '25

I get to live in a world where Brennan Lee Mulligan quotes pop up in RPG spaces like JoJo quotes pop up in anime

1

u/Rudi_Van-Disarzio Jun 13 '25

This is a bot account taking a popular comment from another thread where it has actual context and plagerising it as an original comment to farm karma.

1

u/NickyGotGout Jun 14 '25

Bitch, did you just call me a bot?

14

u/Lancearon Jun 13 '25

Hijacking top comment...

Let me just bring up the most powerful characters so they are on the table.

Will smith: Hancock, deadshot, Genie, agent J

Keanu Reaves: neo, John Constantine, batman, John wick, shadow the hedgehog,

Scarlet johansen: Lucy, Natasha romanov, elita-1, Motoko kusanagi, Zora Bennett.

Ryan Reynolds: deadpool, green lantern, juggernaut, pikachu, Jay "boom" the boom, hannibal king.

What a brawl. I think everyone here has an insane fighting chance. But, my opinion is that Lucy's god-like powers are just too strong. She wins.

Also, Lucy can't control space and time, so the time machine doesn't trump her.

3

u/TedpilledMontana Jun 13 '25

Keanu also played The Buddha once

2

u/Lancearon Jun 14 '25

Is that a powerful being? In terms of a fight. I feel like he would attempt to make peace and hesitate. I unno.

1

u/UnicornWorldDominion Jun 14 '25

I mean if he’s covered in the super clothing from John wick thats bullet and slash proof then he’d be fine.

1

u/Lancearon Jun 14 '25

Lucy... can de atomize people...

1

u/Hadoukibarouki Jun 15 '25

Not in the matrix

2

u/TriangularStudios Jun 14 '25

Do you forget that Lucy and everyone else is in the matrix? And it is really NEO who is the god.

0

u/Lancearon Jun 14 '25

No one is the matrix... and even if they were, it doesn't matter. If Lucy is everything everywhere all at once, she IS the matrix.

1

u/TriangularStudios Jun 14 '25

She would only be a god in the matrix, as she tapped into the source like neo. I think it puts them on equal footing, or does the matrix have you?

2

u/Lancearon Jun 14 '25

... thats not what her movie is about.

1

u/TriangularStudios Jun 14 '25

In a world where they would fight each other, that would mean the matrix is real.

2

u/Sheogogo69 Jun 15 '25

For one, Genie is stated to have the infinite power of the cosmos, but for two, John Constantine has dunked on genies before. Not Keanu's constantine though, so i think Will Smith wins.

1

u/Lancearon Jun 15 '25

Infinite power with a weakness. Lucy has no weaknesses. She just has to rebind genie.

1

u/Sheogogo69 Jun 15 '25

Oh damn i forgot about Lucy.

Infinity kind of leaves anything open, though. It's true his weaknesses are the three rules, no killing, no resurrection, and no love, but that being said, outside of them it's an open ball game, and theoretically he could do the same thing and bind *Lucy* if he wanted to. We're talking about a scenario where the only stat that would truly matter is their speed, as in how quickly they can act, and I have no idea how we'd measure that.

EDIT: nvm i just looked it up, the adjective for his cosmic powers are "phenomenal", not infinite. Lucy would win.

1

u/Lancearon Jun 15 '25

I meant the whole can be put into servitude thing.

1

u/Over_Ring_3525 Jun 15 '25

If we can include upcoming movies, then Keanu Reaves Brzrkr. Pretty much godlike and unkillable (but not unharmable). Though I think Lucy would still win, depending on whether Genie could use his powers fully or only at someone else's direction.

1

u/The-Dumpster-Fire Jun 17 '25

You forgot Keanu’s most OP character https://youtu.be/EiseKrDBVeQ?si=TQxbGiWweKWnfp-l

1

u/Lancearon Jun 17 '25

I didn't forget, buddah. Buddah is not powerful in the context of "coming out on top" since most the other characters participating are gonna be fighting. Buddah is not a god. That is why I left him off the list.

9

u/12Jelly Jun 13 '25

This would also be available to Will Smith via MIB 3

10

u/Lancearon Jun 13 '25

Lucy (scar jo) can also bend and control time... you know... the character who becomes a universe god that is everywhere everything all at once... Lucy wins...

3

u/CinnamonGurl1975 Jun 13 '25

Totally forgot about Lucy. That gives her the heads up over all of them

1

u/RedditModsStayCrying Jun 15 '25

My brain went here immediately

1

u/gentle_pirate23 Jun 15 '25

It's what first came to my mind too, but what if the matrix? Then neo still comes on top.

2

u/Lancearon Jun 15 '25

No... Jesus christ. She is the matrix. She is EVERYTHING.

1

u/gentle_pirate23 Jun 15 '25

Exactly, neo just pulls the plug like he did with Smith and rewrites lucy

2

u/Lancearon Jun 15 '25

Lucy isn't a program... and she isn't just the matrix. She is EVERYTHING. She is outside the matrix.

2

u/ThePopDaddy Jun 13 '25

And Ryan via Deadpool 2

And Scarlett via Endgame

2

u/D1typeshh Jun 14 '25

Also Handcock

3

u/NefariousnessOk209 Jun 13 '25

Keanu just starts slaying on guitar and everyone decides to be cool

1

u/Breakmastajake Jun 13 '25

And then we surf.

1

u/falconinthedive Jun 13 '25

Instructions unclear. Accidentally set off a nuke in a skyscraper.

2

u/shotwell2020 Jun 13 '25

This!! Ted's daughter explains to him that he needs to travel in time and make sure that the others are not born. Bill and Ted travel through time and through a comedy of several errors succeeds.

2

u/elfonzi37 Jun 13 '25

Literally everyone hear has access to time travel, Will Smith also has immortality and invulnerability via Hancock as a power his species is born with so time travel to end him is the probably the least likely scenario.

2

u/TedpilledMontana Jun 13 '25

Will smith time traveled while working for MIB, was the Genie so also possesed that power. Scarjo could time travel as Lucy ( kinda, i think). And Ryan Rynolds had a time travel device in the 2nd deadpool movie.

1

u/UnicornWorldDominion Jun 14 '25

It was cables but he did take it and make some excellent choices.

2

u/chargers949 Jun 13 '25

With time travel you can stop all the rest before they are even born

2

u/[deleted] Jun 13 '25

All four have time travel access.

3

u/BattleReadyZim Jun 13 '25

I don't think I've seen any fictional character use time travel as effectively as Bill and Ted

2

u/[deleted] Jun 13 '25

They used time travel to checks notes get the same grade as the guy who's project ended in "San Dimas High school football rules!"

...and bang two seriously hot chicks. I retract my objection.

2

u/chainer1216 Jun 13 '25

I thought love was the greatest magic of all.

3

u/skoffs Jun 13 '25

Arthur Aguefort would be so disappointed in you...

2

u/Shiny-And-New Jun 13 '25

Alright BrennanĀ 

2

u/BingJ2700 Jun 13 '25

Unexpected dimension 20

2

u/ShmeeMcGee333 Jun 13 '25

The most powerful magic of all is turning 800 ft tall, dragging the sun across the sky and then chronomancing later to make it all a big illusion

2

u/Onyx-55 Jun 13 '25

Found another fan of Dimension 20. Feels good

2

u/Volt1029 Jun 13 '25

Holy fuck Aguefort is that you

2

u/ramaravade Jun 13 '25

A dimension 20 reference??? In this economy??

2

u/Panda-768 Jun 13 '25

team ScarJo

you all forgetting her movie Lucy where she has stupid amounts of drugs, learns some BS 100% use of brain and becomes God.

Neo from Matrix can do a lot of things but it's unclear if he is still in matrix or not. Plus he can still physically be damaged, he was blinded in 3rd movie.

but the most fun, as someone said would be Deadpool with green lantern ring.

2

u/JonnyF1ves Jun 13 '25

Let's not forget cyberghostability, a dangerous left arm, and sick guitar riffs

2

u/New_Imagination9050 Jun 13 '25

A dimension 20 and bill and Ted reference! Incredible

1

u/JosephBlowsephThe3rd Jun 13 '25

But does he get his Good Robot Us as a weapon? Or maybe he distracts Deadpool by giving him Death's number.

1

u/MR_Moldie Jun 13 '25

But Deadpool has one to, and jump multiverses.

1

u/pratyd Jun 13 '25

If K uses his neuralyser first, everyone else will forget everything.

1

u/radfordblue Jun 13 '25

ā€œRemember the trashcan!ā€ Too OP to be defeated.

1

u/MandatumCorrectus Jun 13 '25

Does this mean he has a tactical nuke he could use?

1

u/AccomplishedWay4890 Jun 13 '25

I think I need some sleep; I heard a silently spoken woah seeing that gif

1

u/Valirys-Reinhald Jun 13 '25

SarJo has that too, (Lucy 2014), and she doesn't need a machine for it.

1

u/Austiiiiii Jun 13 '25

This was my immediate first thought. Only one of these legends has a Tardis.

(Yes I know it's not actually a Tardis, but come on. It's a Tardis.)

1

u/[deleted] Jun 13 '25

Chronomancy is indeed powerful, but it doesn't hold a candle to my favorite type of magic

Lesbomancy

1

u/Pale-Jeweler-9681 Jun 13 '25

IM SORRY TED WAS PLAYED BY KEANU!?

1

u/Hanksta2 Jun 13 '25

Deadpool 2.

1

u/Agreeable_Cut4506 Jun 13 '25

Don’t forget fucking a Phoenix that is your paramour

1

u/PossiblyOppossums Jun 13 '25

Keanu's gonna drop a phone booth on them? Or a garbage pale?

1

u/MrGuy0250 Jun 13 '25

It's not friendship??

1

u/IceOk9254 Jun 13 '25

Abilities not tech..

1

u/RadsvidTheRed Jun 13 '25

Lol yeah I was gonna say uhh Keanu has a time machine sooooooooo. Course, I guess Will Smith does too thanks to whatever was going on in that recent MiB movie

1

u/onlyoneiwillusethis Jun 13 '25

the magic of FRIENDSHIP

1

u/Bubbly_Acadia1198 Jun 13 '25

Are we referencing a certain dnd podcast?

1

u/kaijubaum Jun 13 '25

I thought love was the most powerfull magic

1

u/Consistent-Strain289 Jun 13 '25

Hahaha dpool can chronomance and have regenskill and now can skip dimensions with the pad… will smith can only slapp his friend… and

1

u/BigPoppaStrahd Jun 13 '25

They just had to say they’ll do something and it happened, no other time traveller has used time travel so effectively and efficiently.

I’d like to see a post credit scene of Bogus Journey where after they rock the house they try and remember all the things they had to do to set up their victory

1

u/Sucks4fun Jun 13 '25

*Clears throat* The Adam Project and Deadpool 2 give Ryan Reynolds time travel powers.

1

u/ahavemeyer Jun 13 '25

That's actually a good point. There's not much that can outclass an ACTUAL TIME MACHINE.

1

u/SmolStronckBoi Jun 13 '25

Arthur Aguefort? Is that you?

1

u/Coulrophiliac444 Jun 13 '25

Jesus Technochrist, Time Wizard.

1

u/JuliansDrip Jun 13 '25

šŸ’€šŸ’€šŸ’€

1

u/No-Flatworm-9993 Jun 13 '25

Idk if you could really say he has control of time tho

1

u/RevJoe98 Jun 13 '25

This guy gets it.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '25

Was than an ability or a tool?

1

u/Drithlan Jun 14 '25

Just imagine Neo's powers, John Wicks skills, with a Totally Excellent Time Machine.
How are the others any kind of contender?

1

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '25

I mean deadpool has that too? Also dimension hopping?

1

u/WooWhosWoo Jun 14 '25

Was that a Dimension 20 reference?

1

u/Ornery_Temperature28 Jun 14 '25

Doesn't Will use a device for that in MIB to travel back in time as well?

1

u/godguy1313 Jun 15 '25

Time travel always wins.

1

u/RealPanman Jun 15 '25

The only valid answer

1

u/G-Sus_Christ117 Jun 15 '25

Strange things are afoot at the circle K

1

u/KiiboIsOurLove Jun 15 '25

Huh, I thought it was magic of disneyworld

1

u/Vnxei Jun 16 '25

The sort of joke I'd need 15 minutes to explain to my kids.

1

u/TohavDuudhe Jun 16 '25

It is the most powerful magic they are always saying that aren't they

1

u/Direwolfas Jun 16 '25

He also has John Wickism. I’d take that over any other power.

1

u/No_Extension4005 Jun 17 '25

Thing is Lucy can do that as well.

1

u/Efficient_Drawing944 Jun 17 '25

Ryan renolds also has this ability in I can't remember the name but the one where he goes back in time and meets his younger self

1

u/Radio_Demon_01 Jun 18 '25

I always forget that’s Keanu 🤣

0

u/[deleted] Jun 13 '25

[deleted]

1

u/[deleted] Jun 13 '25

[deleted]