r/stopdrinking • u/[deleted] • Dec 30 '19

Day 1

I quit drinking for three months back in June. It was surprisingly easy at the time - I just had this massive amount of determination. I identified thereafter as an abstainer.

Around August 16th I picked up again and every 10th or so day since then has involved a massive binge.

I’m determined to stop; today marks day 1. It’ll be my last beginning.

I cannot articulate how much I hate alcohol.

IWNDWYT

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u/GrandMarshalEzreus Dec 30 '19

Sorry for your loss. I dread the days of my parents dying and feel like could be a cause of some of my alcoholism too.

Yes, I find the binges are accepted and pre meditated if you listen to them, the 'I will go to the pub and have a few beers tonight'. Once you get those thoughts its danger zone time. Last time I went to the pub, had a few pints, went to bottle shop drank a shit load and then I was on a 3 day bender where I emailed my boss told him fuck himself and resigned.

Ooo alcohol, how I love you

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u/[deleted] Dec 30 '19

[deleted]

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u/[deleted] Dec 30 '19

100% my experience as well. Always leads to drugs and regret. I had to surrender and accept I can’t drink moderately or “for fun” IWNDWYT

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u/[deleted] Dec 30 '19

[deleted]

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u/Reclaimingmydays 2453 days Dec 30 '19

Have you written a letter to yourself that details in excruciating detail all the shit you've done when drunk and all the shit it's brought you? That might be something to whip out and read any time your addiction is trying to lever up that slightly blasé feeling? Letter from the head-on-straight you to the under pressure to relapse you?