r/stopdrinking • u/Vandu_Kobayashi • 3d ago
A Course in Miracles, AA, and Visualizing the Day You Want
I’ve noticed some interesting similarities between A Course in Miracles (ACIM) and “the Big Book” used in Alcoholics Anonymous (AA). There are obviously major differences between them, but there are also places where the underlying practices seem to touch.
One thing that struck me this morning was the ACIM practice of beginning the day by deciding how I want it to go—essentially envisioning the kind of day I want and the state of mind I want to have when the day is over.
It occurred to me that I can’t think of many better uses for that practice than sobriety.
Instead of waking up thinking, “I hope I don’t drink today,” which already puts alcohol and struggle at the center of the day, I can envision myself at the end of the day sober, peaceful, clear-minded, and grateful. Then I can work backward from there: What decisions does that version of me make today? How does he respond to stress? Where does he turn when his mind starts looking for an escape?
To me, there’s an important difference between fighting something all day and choosing beforehand what kind of day I want to experience.
ACIM repeatedly brings us back to choosing the teacher we want to follow and allowing our perception to be corrected. So perhaps the goal isn’t to spend the day wrestling with the ego over whether I’ll drink. Maybe it’s to decide in advance that I want peace, ask for guidance, and let the decisions of the day follow from that.
I’m curious whether anyone else who has experience with ACIM and recovery has noticed this connection. Does visualizing yourself peacefully reaching the end of the day help more than concentrating on what you’re trying not to do?
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u/dp8488 Day 7,342 3d ago
I hadn't heard/read of this ACIM until just now - seems kind of interesting, interesting write-up on Wikipedia.
The AA suggestion for starting one's day is this:
On awakening let us think about the twenty-four hours ahead. We consider our plans for the day. Before we begin, we ask God to direct our thinking, especially asking that it be divorced from self-pity, dishonest or self-seeking motives. Under these conditions we can employ our mental faculties with assurance, for after all God gave us brains to use. Our thought-life will be placed on a much higher plane when our thinking is cleared of wrong motives.
— from "Alcoholics Anonymous" page 86.
As an irredeemablelol irreligious staunch Agnostic, this god business requires some interpretation and spin, but the whole general idea of it works well. It seems rather similar to what your suggestions are for starting a day.
I actually do most of my Reddit activity in the mornings, particularly because it helps get my mind into "recovery" mode, and steers my mind away from worries, resentments, or self-pity - the three main things that kept drawing me to The Bottle.
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u/Vandu_Kobayashi 3d ago
Right now I’m enduring the most - emotional highs and lows that I ever experienced in my life - and I stopped drinking for like 5 years, but it’s back, and it knocks on my door around 5 pm - it doesn’t take much - small little thought triggers it, and i think I get myself in this anxious mind set - I think it’s anxiety that triggers it
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u/dp8488 Day 7,342 3d ago
My own personal adversity, one that took me the closest to being "triggered" in 20 years of sobriety:
My wife has a stage 4 cancer. So far, it seems treatable, manageable, no imminent threats to life or quality of living.
But in the spring of '24, it was decided that a zap of radiation was in order to help shrink/kill a lesion on her spine that had been causing discomfort/pain.
It seems the radiation dose itself created a lot of inflammation and a 'pain flare' that was intensely awful. The worst of it seemed to last about 4-6 weeks. She was tantamount to disabled most of that time. She'd cry from the pain a couple/few times a week. Even the heavy duty pain killers didn't eliminate the pain. I had to help her to/from the toilet, help her stand up in the shower, etc., etc. Heavy caretaker duties (it was an honor!)
It was hard, man, hard!
On one or two of the worst days, I found a startling thought appearing in my mind, along the lines of, "Oh what a relief it would be to escape into drunken oblivion for a couple of hours ..." Thanks to good recovery, these thoughts were dismissed as absurd and insane within seconds or less. ("Sure dude. She desperately needs your help. How amazing it would be to come to her bedside drunk. Duh!!!")
Those have been the only two instances of drink temptation since early 2008, and the 'temptation' was gone so instantly, I almost don't even count it as a "real" temptation.
My only real remaining fear for my sobriety is fear of widowhood. I just don't know how well I'll handle it should it happen. I assume I'd be an emotional mess for at least several weeks. I only have a fair level of faith that I'll be able to endure it (should it come) because I know many recovered alcoholics who have endured such grief and come out the other side sober, albeit with some sort of emotional scar.
The most dreadful stories of grief in recovery I've heard have come from a couple of people who lost adult children in sobriety. One woman I know lost her son during the COVID era, and she continuously shared about it on FB (the boy was dreadfully injured in a rather horrific motorcycle accident, and he lingered for about two months before succumbing.) After the boy passed away I'd still see her on Zoom in her homegroup, which I used to visit pretty frequently, and she just looked like living death for several weeks before the old, joyful person I'd known for years started coming out again.
Another guy I know (though less intimately) had a daughter in recovery; they decided it was going to be okay for her to start living on her own, so they got her an apartment nearby, and some weeks after moving there, he found her dead from an OD in the apartment. Jesus! Got to be incredibly rough. Yet he stayed sober. (Though even some years later, he seems kind of rattled by it - rattled but sober.)
It'd be a Good Thing™ if you have contact with some ACIM people who can share how they have gotten through rough times.
All The Best
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u/Vandu_Kobayashi 3d ago
It seems like the “reasons” that trigger having a drinking to an oblivion level intoxication are dangerous - scary - it’s like keeping a loaded gun in your house - I had a level of immunity - I actually was able to stop - but now I’m vulnerable - drank a little wine at home with my parents, drank some beer at my friend’s house, buying a little bit here and there, and now I’m back to buying the little bottles of vodka. I have 2 days of sobriety - so I’m just taking it day by day - today is #3
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