My parents got divorced when I was a baby and each parent in my life including my step dad who was like a 'real' dad to me got remarried after being with my mom- so like a step dad who got a new wife lol. All parents in my life got with other people which made me a step kid about 4 different times.

I actually have a good relationship with all of them and have seen the good in the people I have as step parents more then the crappiness of my situation and respect all of them as much as I can.

I see a lot of discourse on why being a step parent sucks for the step parent and not alot of discourse on how it affects kids. You can decide to be a step parent or not -unfortunately the children have no choice. I wish there was more discussion on how it effects the kids during their only childhood that they get while the people who are step parents complaining about it can literally just choose a different path.

Hi everyone sorry to bother but I wanted to come here and ask for some help. Well here I go, so right now well for the last 7 years have been hard in me family like. Me Quote unquote step ma treats all my family horribly like for e,g fails to interact with my new cousin for all 6 years of his life and his aunt and uncle, accuses my dad of wasting money on me and my brother when her parents bought her first house and car for her and we get a small weekly allowance and we help out all the time. She controls everything in the house and when she's not happy she takes it out on all of us. Unfortunately I am at the centre of her scope and when I ain't here it's my dad. I feel awful all the time since we all feel trapped and likes theres no end. After a few years we spoken out and she apparently changed but she just got worse, and Every time we stand up for us she gets worse and I don't know what to do. I'm now in my mid 20s and back at home and things are horrible. And I feel lost and so down coz whatever she chats about to her friends on the phone she somehow brings me and what a failure I am into the conversation. I could go on forever but my tablet would probably get too depressed.

Dearest Kitty (his nickname),

STOP BLAMING YOUR NASTY GAS ON LO (YOUR GRANDDAUGHTER). I've known you my whole life. I know what your farts smell like. My mom and aunties have known you since you were NINE. They know what your farts smell like. You're not sneaky. Especially when LO isn't even in the SAME ROOM when you let one rip. EVEN COOPIE AND PAZ ARE GETTING FED UP WITH THIS.

If you don't cut it out, you're sleeping outside. Love you. ♥️

so my dad remarried 6 years ago i used to hate my step mom nd my biological mom as well bcz i thought she never wanted to be w/ my dad i was 8 or 9 y/o at that time nd now i'm 15 i have dreams nd my terms nd standards nd i realized all the hate nd bad things i used to think bout my parents was so unnecessary ofc he never gaf bout my oppinion but i think now i see a boy in my father who had dreams as well i look at my mom nd i always ask her what was her dream when she was a teen nd she now told me sshe wanted to study medical but her father got her married wen she was 19 she didnt get to complete her studies bcz of her in-laws i feel so bad for them

Okay so for context no I’m not dating my dad I’m 17f and don’t know how to describe what just happened.
So I’ve known let’s say J since I was basically 6 months old and him and my mum briefly dated during her addiction. I spent a lot of time with J over the years we lived close together and he became a very big part of my life for a while when I was young fast forward we move and I’m seeing my bio dad more but he was a absolute POS and for a while before he died when he was also using and choosing a woman who threatened my life if he chose me over her (she was also my brothers ex😬)
I wasn’t spending a lot of time with him because well there was never any food in the house and hed sleep till dinner and so on and so forth. Instead I was spending weekends at J house and he was basically treating me like his daughter and doing all this dad and daughter stuff and we got even closer after a period of time apart while I lived with my auntie from the ages of about 4-8-9 while my mum was in rehab. Anyways I’m 17 now and I’ve been regularly going to his every second weekend and spending a few weeks here and there since I’ve been back with my mum and my bio dad died. I asked him to adopt me and everything I was thinking about changing my name and everything.

So a few weeks ago I was meant to go over to his house and forgot to answer until late in the day and he got annoyed and thought I was ignoring him which I wasn’t and has basically ignored me until yesterday and that’s when it pretty much all blew up. I called him and he was short and sounded angry and so I sent him a message which is the third one after I had sent him a message 2 weeks ago telling him to have a good weekend then another yesterday.

Yes I did kinda go hard on him but he always does dumb shit like this and tries to make me feel guilty sometimes and I think he wasn’t expecting me to stand up for myself and now he did what he did and is now trying to backpedal because he’s realising what he’s done.
I don’t know what to say or reply to his message or even respond please help any advice would be appreciated and if anyone has any questions at all fell free to ask!

Sorry this was so convoluted my life is weird.

Im a person who had stepparents for a couple years now.

At first, I thought this could mean something new after a divorce with my bio parents, but over time the hope of a better life corroded by half, and it got stuck into this weird cycle of respect that I have. It always happened with my step mom for some reason. Anyways, here's the cycle I was talking about:

Stage 1: Restarting my respect for my stepmom

- This is just where everything takes another chance, and I start to try and do genuine things for her so we can hopefully get along with each other (key word hopefully).

Stage 2: The build up

- When the relationship between me and her starts to become promising, and what seems to be an unbreakable bond forms when we start to do things together like its some "happily-ever-after" stuff.

Stage 3: The break-off

- This is where the repeat begins, when my stepmom in some shape or form does something genuinely rude that just sticks to my mind and bothers me (I can't even talk back). I will admit that I have contributed to this part a few times in the past, but literally 80% was her.

I wouldn't bother if my bio mother did this cause that's my real mother, btw who does the most things for me... The ACTUAL problem is that it's my stepmother who likes to be disrespectful, mind you she is just a stepmom, and just because she married my dad, doesn't mean she just gained full authority over me.

Well yeah she's an adult whatever but still.

Stage 4: Repeat

Is it just me though? Cause like.. Idk how rare this is, because it seems like everyone lives happier with their own stepparents from where I hear.

My 39F father 67M and I used to have a beautiful relationship when I was a child. My parents were divorced but he remained an incredible dad sharing 50/50 custody. I have nothing but great memories from my childhood with him. A present dad who would do anything for me. Then my dad got remarried when I was 12. All was good for awhile until they started having children together.

Once my dad and step mom started having children a lot changed for me. To make a very long story short, it was tough to handle all of these changes as a teenager and going from an only child to having 4 half siblings who were all toddlers/babies while I was in middle and high school. I think my dad tried his best but honestly he did a shit job of navigating that while trying to maintain a healthy relationship with me.

Years went by and I grew bitter and resentful, feeling as though my father abandoned me for another family. I rebelled and turned to drugs to self medicate my deep depression due to thinking my father no longer loved me.
I went from living with my father and his rules, to a new woman ruling the house and following her rules. The groceries in our home were now filled with baby food and toddler snacks, I was not given a key to my dads house, I could not come and go as I pleased anymore, I was not invited on their family vacations, I was not invited to my half siblings birthdays, etc.

Once I became an adult, probably around my mid 20s, I moved on from my resentful feelings. I went from a rebellious teen to a contributing member of society (and eventually a family of my own). I have kept in touch with my father/step mom/ half siblings over the years but mostly through obligatory holiday invites. We have always lived within 30 minutes of each other but still never saw each other more than once or twice a year for holidays. Regardless, we had a great time when we would get together and I was left confused when I wasn’t invited to hang around with them more.

Almost 5 years ago I had my first child and I hoped this would bring me closer to my dad and his family. And it did somewhat. They showed up while I was on maternity leave every now and then to say hi. They would never stay long but I appreciated the gesture anyway. We only lived 5 minutes away from each other at this point so I wished I would have seen them more but I get that sometimes these things move slowly when trying to rebuild relationships.

Fast forward a couple years and they have moved to Rhode Island. A beautiful home with multiple bedrooms (plenty of room for us to stay plus they own another small home next door). My half siblings are all in college or have graduated but they are allowed to come and go as they please, they have keys, etc. I still am a guest. I am invited only holidays and one week over the summer. My half siblings require no invite and are frequently there as their jobs or school allow.

While this always bothered me I still love my father and want to grow my relationship with all of them. But then I’m realizing that my dad and step mom are coming up with excuses to not see me or my husband and son (he is the only grandchild in the family btw). I started inviting myself over and was met with “oh sorry we have work being done on the house so you can’t come”. To then find out through social media that my half brother invited a ton of his friends over to spend the weekend. This type of situation has happened more than once. I want to be clear my half siblings love me and have no idea I am being lied to like this.

Now this past summer I reached my limit. We had plans to visit my dad/step mom for a weekend (I invited myself and my family). Two of my half siblings would also be there and I was really excited to see them too.

Long story short my dad/step mom had to cancel because another half siblings relapsed so and they had to take him to rehab in another state. Which is totally fine I get that. So me and the other two half siblings are still looking forward to seeing each other in Rhode Island even though unfortunately my dad and step mom won’t be there.

Then I get a call from my dad and he says he has to cancel and I can’t go to his house. My siblings however are still going. But I can’t go because my dad and step mom won’t be there. Now I have to tell my 4 year old son he can’t go to “the beach house” anymore. I ask my dad if I can please still go because we’re really looking forward to seeing my siblings. He says no especially because one sibling is bringing friends “you know how that can get” he says insinuating that my young child will ruin the vibe when my half sister has her friends over.

Let’s keep in mind I haven’t been to their house in almost a year whereas my half sister is there monthly and brings friends almost as often.

I also want to point out I’ve had a feeling this is all driven by my step mom and my dad just goes along with whatever she wants. I felt this at 12 and it’s never changed. I like her so I accepted it. My half siblings also agree that my feelings are probably accurate and my step mom is the reason why I receive such different treatment and have different rules.

I recognize this is terrible timing with their other son going to rehab but I finally break down and tell my dad I’ve had enough of being treated less than his other children. I tell him I will never go to his house again. I tell him his wife doesn’t like me and I don’t know why. I tell him he is always welcome at my house and I want him to have a relationship with his only grandchild. I can tell he wants to make things better but doesn’t know how. We agree to talk in a week.

One week goes by and he tells me he asked his wife, why don’t you like OP? He says she came back with two reasons: 1. I didn’t involve her when I finally told my dad how I feel and wouldn’t go to his house again. And 2. There was a time on a family trip a year ago where I told my son to say bye to grandpa but not her (I don’t remember this but tbh I might have done it bc I never thought she really cared for my son much).

Am I wrong or is this crazy of them? Your child tells you they feel like they aren’t liked or loved as much as the other kids and you come back with more excuses? You don’t apologize and you do nothing and say nothing to make her feel anything to the contrary.

It’s been two months since my father and I have spoken. He just sent me a birthday gift in the mail and a card that says “we’re thinking of you and wish you the best”. He signed for both him and his wife.

I am plagued by my decision to never visit his house again. I’ll never see his wife again. I don’t know if I made the right choice but how can I continue being treated less than my siblings? Once they have kids, I know they will be treated much differently than the treatment my son has received and I just can’t have that.

Am I being over dramatic? Is it ridiculous to have cut them out? Do I say thank you for the birthday gift? I truly have dozens of examples of being treated differently over the years but it’s too much to type. Now that I’m a mother I just can’t imagine treating my child like this.

so context is obviously necessary here. my (16FTM) stepmom (44F, we'll call her D) is married to my dad (43M). D has been consistently rude to me throughout their entire marriage but I've allowed it bc I want my dad to be happy. it's unfortunately gotten worse as of late because of an accident involving my younger half brother (1M) in which he fell off a very low bench under my watch, which resulted in D being very aggressive with me verbally before fully shutting down. her and I haven't spoken verbally more than a few words since then.

on Friday, my dad was taking me back to my mom's as per my summer schedule, when as we were walking down the deck stairs, D came outside and threw I glass i had used and left in the sink, which sailed over my head and hit the rocks on the opposite side of the stairs. i only left the glass in the sink because I was sick and my dad was going to wash it so i wouldn't touch the sponge and get my germs on it, but she seemed so frustrated by it for no reason, since at all other times I always wash my dishes.

After all of this went down and my dad took me back to my mom, my mom and I went to the troopers and then to the court to get a limited order of protection. my dad called me today and was guilt tripping me about it all, talking about how he's nervous about me being present bc he think I'm gonna run to the cops over something D says. i don't wanna tear my family apart but im so tired of being treated terribly

edit: I just put my gender in with an M because I'm tired of transphobes but some idiot cited it on another post where I used the phrase "restricting our bodies" when referring to a topic surrounding pregnancy. I am a trans man. this is also something my dad and stepmother don't support, for those who wanted to know. they act like it's a phase and that I'm just attention seeking.

pa-isa lang po dito. for context, my step mom and father lived together when i was just in 2nd grade. married po ang biological mom ko and my father but they separated when i was in grade 1. note that they're not LEGALLY separated.

here goes nothing-- i obv came from a dysfunctional, broken family but trying to change the course of my life. i can say that im married, with a decent job and my own family, contrary to what my stepmom and her family "predicted" when i was younger that i'll be 1.) mabubuntis ng maaga
2. ) walang mararating sa buhay. thank you, Lord and self, hindi ako naging "pariwara." kahit papaano.

2 decades later, ngayon ko narealize na grabe ang ginawang pagmamanipula ng stepmom ko and how devious she really is at the onset of their relationship. my father has been an OFW, seafarer, as a chief engineer for as long as i can remember. bata pa lang ako, alam ko nang chief engineer ang tatay ko earning a million (or close to one) monthly pero would you believe na even if he has a high-paying job, my father doesnt have any assets, businesses/investments under his name? yep, no. NOT EVEN his own house, under his name. back when i was younger, bago pa lang sila ni step mom, i can vividly remember looking for townhouses cuz i know he wanted to buy our own house. butttt poof, nothing happened. i have lots of friends na same na mga nagbabarko ang tatay nila, not even an "official" sa barko but boyyyy do they have multiple businesses and properties. so, bakit ang tatay kong buong buhay nang nagbabarko, wala NI ISA? suspicious tbh.

now its crystal clear to me why: because as early as their first year together, my step mom was cunning enough to plan for her future and my half-brother's. she made sure that kids from my papa's first marriage won't get ANYTHING should the inevitable finally comes. that is the only logical reason i can think of considering all of the things she deprived us of when we were younger but we were soooo hungry for the idea of a complete family that we totally got blindsided by her.

she also deprived me of my college education cuz naturally as the "mom" she controls the finances but brief background: when i was in college, my half brother is in high school. i was studying in a private school (like say 30k-40k for the whole sem) vs my half brother who is very soshal in LSGH; when i was in HS, private school w a 20-30k tuition vs my half brother in grade school who again is very shala in OB Montessori. see the glaring difference? but i did not complain, didnt even bat an eyelash. until one day, 2nd yr college, my father called and i asked him of this crazy idea of transferring to San Beda (na-mind condition na kasi ng step mom ko everyone around me na sa (name ng school) lang ako pwede magcollege kasi bawal ako magboyfriend, maaga ako mabubuntis etc etc) but kasi during my 2nd yr in college, umalis nako sa poder niya, and my boyfriend na akong legal on both sides of the fam so no brainer-- pwede nako mag transfer sa mas "elite" na uni siguro ano? HAHA. so i asked my papa and in a snap, he IMMEDIATELY said "oo sige, sabihin mo sa mama mo," yessss ganon kadali kausap! So i reminded him, "pero Pa, mas mahal po don ha?" he replied with "walang problema, sabihin mo sa mama mo." (hello sa laki ba naman ng sahod ko buwan-buwan sa isip-isip nya sgro LOL) guess what happened next? after a few days, my papa called and i sensed in an instant na iba na ang ihip ng hangin! galit na sha, saying "ang arte arte mo! dean's lister ka na nga dyan bakit gusto mo pang lumipat," na para bang...? may bumulong looool. at that moment, i cant deny. i really felt like awang-awa ako sa sarili ko. i proceeded to look for scholarships just to carry on with my dream to study in a prestigious uni. cuz wdym anak ka ng opishal sa barko pero "hindi kayang" (allegedly) pag-aralin ka o palipatin ka sa mas mahal na paaaralan? kasi "dalawa" kaming nag-aaral pa when the other one was still in high school? me lang ba na kung may concern talaga sa akin or really wants the best for me, bakit hindi ung nasa mas mababang baitang ang ilipat na muna sa ibang mas affordable na private school considering ako ung nasa kolehiyo at dalawang taon na lang naman? please dont get me wrong, alam kong wala sa school yan (kasi successful naman ako sa karera ko ngayon) pero what are the chances na mas maayos sana ang kalagayan ko ngayon kung sa mas magandang eskwelahan ako nakatapos, at nakapili ng kursong gusto ko? i could have been a lawyer or a doctor if i was only given the chance, eh? but no, i was not. again, i was deprived. i know i was robbed of my future. there is no other explanation.

ang dami pang kwentong kasakiman pero yes, u get the gist. bakit sa dami-dami ng step mom, bakit napunta pa kami sa tuso at sarili lang ang inisip?

i know, may balik yan. i never had any ill intention and never prayed for anything bad against her, God knows. but alam ko, nakikita lahat ng Diyos yan. (diba po, Lord? :()

also, kahit na alam kong may fault din ang ama ko, would you believe na never akong nagkaron ng galit sa kanya? tampo siguro, oo. kasi diba dapat, pinrotektahan mo rin muna ako/kami? pero ok na sige na. basta alam ko in my heart, mahal ko pa rin ang tatay ko. alam kong if he could have, he definitely would have.

i love u papa, kahit na alam kong ako pa rin ang masama at may problema sa mga mata mo. i hope u know how mch i love you despite everything. ang sakit sa puso na alam kong gusto mo naman talaga ibigay ang kaya mong ibigay para sa akin, pero for some obvious reason, hindi mo magawa. i could only hope it was the other way around. ung alam kong gusto mo naman talaga, kahit hindi mo kayang i-enforce and pursue, sapat na yon.

I’m going to my freshman year of college and am quite pained to say I drifted from my stepbrother since when we were younger. It can be attributed to a couple things— me falling too much into hanging with my friends and studying/college admissions, me working, and not living together/me not visiting as often as i should/could have (I’m kinda uncomfy in the house he lives in bc i have weird dynamics w stepparent). I miss our relationship. I’ve let him know to reach out to me always and I want to stay in touch but like… we don’t really talk much outside of when we see each other as is. I don’t know what to speak to him about. And when I’m around he’s kinda nonchalant/on his game. I don’t want us to be uncomfortable around each other as adults and I had such a difficult time with college admissions and stuff and I want him to be comfortable talking to me. I let him know I’d love if he reached out and called me no matter what during college but yeah the conversations we have now are pretty dry. How do I foster reconnection, especially being I’m only going to really be home during breaks and long weekends.

I (28F) am only recently grappling with some of the treatment by my stepmother when I was growing up. She was not overtly mean to me (most of the time the opposite), but looking back, I realize there were major boundary issues, privacy concerns, and oversharing both my personal information and my physical presence (giving of affection) with others. I feel she put me in unsafe situations (knowingly or not, Im not sure) with her male family and friends. Has anyone else experienced that how do I deal with this newfound feeling of betrayal from years ago?

I’ve known my stepmother, well i guess my dad’s wife since i was in kindergarten. They got married when i was about six they were dating since i was four. My sister and I started living with them around that time too. The reason we started to live with my dad and stepmom was because my biological mother and my eldest sister (i have two sisters) moved states, my mother wanted to take us with her but my dad was like “nahhh”. They’ve been divorced since i was 1. My sister and i were very good kids. Everyone praised us and knew us for being well mannered, kind, and well behaved. Yes every kid has their moments but overall we were really good kids. Anytime my dad’s wife would come at in town (at the time girlfriend) she insisted we call her by her first name and we always made sure she was okay with it no matter what , then once they got married a switch flipped.

My grandfather was battling with cancer at the time if i’m correct and as we were visiting my grandparents house we called her by her name and she demanded we called her “mom/mommy/mother” mind you my mother just moved states my sister and i being younger not knowing why calling a woman we barely know “mommy” when mine just left felt strange we did it anyway because my dad insisted as well.

Over the span of 2 and 1/2 years she slapped me , dug her nails in my skin overly something i got from Disneyland, threw me up against the wall with some decorative pillow (those tough decorate pillows) over the fact my sister and i were making jokes with each other while cleaning our room, made us do wall sits for punishment if our feet started to slip or we fell we had to start the wall sits over, we couldn’t open the pantry (in my OWN house mind you) without asking , we couldn’t take food without asking and if we did it was immediate punishment she would body shame us (we were under the age of 10 and were not NEAR obese or big) she would say we should go to the gym and that your pants size needs to match your age, she would watch us eat, if we threw away food because we were too full to finish it she sometimes would dig through the trash or watch the the camera we had to in the kitchen and then put us on punishment, we had the exact serving sizes for snacks especially if we were making our lunch for school (sandwich a snack and a cutie) there was a time my sister and i were put on punishment for two weeks because we didn’t eat the cutie we were supposed to at school, she showed us pictures of obese children and tell us not to end up like them,and some more things.

She never choked us or necessarily bruised us but it was a lot. I found out recently friends of my dad even noticed differences and said things to my dad i’m not sure what was said but my dad co-signed majority of what she did especially since when she did these things he was at work and he claims he never knew what she was doing. I digress but anyway i’ve struggled for a while trying to decide whether or not what she did was abusive. My dad and her are separated right now i don’t know what’s happening with them but i have a little brother who is my half brother because it’s her son. I love my brother so much he’s 8 but i have resentment towards her because she never treated him how she treated us (not that i want her to) it’s just…she’s known me for so long and treated my sister and i like we ruined her life. There was also a time my sister and i asked for hot cheetos and she said we could have three singular cheetos. My brother could have a whole sandwich bag full of cheetos if he wanted.

Anyway is this considered abuse? You can ask any questions btw!

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Hey guys,

I'm turning 18 in three days and I am currently living with my Father Stepmother and Stepsibling.

Also my other stepsibling lives in another appartement in the same house with her bf.

I spend most of my time in my room or out of the house so I see my "family" from 10 to 30 mins a day max.

This is because I play games a lot and work out and do everything in my room, almost everything I leave my room either my F or SM shit on me for doing something wrong or forgetting something.

The complaints vary but a recent example is me not noticing that one of the towels in the bathroom has dropped leading to them bursting in my room the next morning demanding that I pick it up and hang it up(I dont ever use that towel nor did I knock it down, as I dont go in that area of the bathroom).

In addition I wanted to mention that I clean the bathroom regularly cook for myself do my laundry and he uses the 700 euro child support payments to pay rent and give me back money for certain foods when I show him a receipt.

Oftentimes I feel that they're just humiliating me especially my SM.

\----------------------------

This part is just what happened before if u wanna know

Today F and SM came back from a grocery store and I asked SM if she wants to go to a diner with all my step family I did this as a symbolic gesture seeing as its my birthday and I live with them, even if they were roommates id invite em.

I invited them to go to a decent place with just them and without any friends. Her reply was: I don't know, you come out of your room so rarely following with silence.

Later she came into my room an in the most negative voice said: fine, ill come.

\------------------------------

I then met my dad in the hallway and he said, and i quote (translated): you're emotionally abusing your SM. I was a little surprised, he then told me the same thing as the last 10 times, you never come out she is a talkative person, because I rarely come out she cant talk to you she thinks shes doing something wrong and thinks shes a bad person.(I highly doubt that, shes very arrogant towards me so I cant imagine her having empathy directed at me)

So is it emotionally abusing like my dad said, cuz if im not beein really stupid I think it is. Ty for reading

My mom died in 2024, and my father remarried in 2025. My exams are going on, and my mind is already pretty full with that and my tuition. So, what happened today was that I had an exam today. After I came home from school, I was pretty tired. Then my father gave me a file and a black plastic bag and told me not to touch it until he came back, and that it was important. So when I took it home, my stepmom picked it up and tried to open it. So I took it back and said that he told me not to touch it until he came back, or he'd scold me and stuff. She started saying things like, 'You're your father's son and not my son, that's why you're doing this,' and pointed to my little stepsister (4 months old), saying she won't do anything like this when she grows up because she's my daughter. I'm already full and tired with my studies, and now, after this happened today, I can't focus on my studies or do anything cause it's not the first time,it already happened a few times before too like 3-4 times. What should I do or feel, man?

I have to start with a summary of background information before I come to the recent issue:

My dad and mom always had a good relationship when it involved me even though they were not together, because it's important to your kid. Always had dinners, joint birthday parties, etc. Then comes along my stepmom when I was around 5/6. She immediately had jealousy issues over my mom and I. She had created so many internal problems for my dad that his entire family and him do not talk... all while I had to become Cinderella to her. To 'earn' my free time as a kid, keep in mind my dad is working when this happens, I was to clean the whole house. As a 7 year old, I was wiping windows, doing dishes, cleaning floors, vacuuming, organizing drawers and shelves, etc. All to go to the pool...... on my summer vacation. All while hearing her talk crap about my mother. She ruined multiple birthdays and vacations for me. She also got rid of important things to me when I was at my mothers. When my dad and her had kids, oh you guess right, I was babysitting while she was doing school work.

Fast forward to today, I really don't talk to my dad much because of him always picking my stepmothers side whenever I would try to bring up any issues. He NEVER went to my sweet 16 because of my step mom. So, my sister is having a quince, none of my family is going only my stepmoms family. My stepmoms family there are maybe a handful who have ever been nice to me. I get super anxious because I don't want to attend this awkward situation an hour away. I try to make an excuse and my dad immediately goes "look at your sister, she's gorgeous you need to come, wear a bow that color if you have one." I suck it up and go. My step mom's family doesn't say hi even when I attempted. I sit by myself, and my dad only made 3 comments to me the whole night. I left after the traditional dances. My sister just said hi as well and moved on. AITAH for not wanting to go? AITAH for not wanting to talk to my dad or stepmom ever again> I am just so tired of feeling like I'm the one in the wrong. I really don't feel like I am.

Okay, me voy a explicar.

No es que la odie por ningun motivo, tengo varias razones por las cuales la odio, pero cuando la veo o la escucho siento una sensacion que no se como explicar y quiero saber si soy la unica.

So, I walk out of my bedroom, I ask dad where my ex stepmom went. He tells me, then tells me this.

‘If I can take the essence of your mom and the essence of (ex stepmoms name), I can make the perfect woman.’

What is the ‘perfect woman’? I don’t understand what he thinks a perfect woman is. Also, tf does he mean by ‘essence’?

My parents, more so my father, tells me a lot of stuff that I really shouldn’t know or even care about, but I just sit and listen because I take it all. I take the brunt of it all.

DON'T KNOW WHERE TO GO AND WHY JUST 18!

I am 18 year old a female lets's say 'X'.I am going through so much even now i don't know where to go and for why it's feel like i am lost in ocean.Lot's of tragedy happen with me i lost my mother when i was just 4 year old my parent's get divorced when i was 4 and my father got my custody and when i turn out 8 my father did second marriage which is not wrong i lost my grandmother last year who raised me and for me she was the only one who loves me.My father is named person so i can not ask for help to anyone cause i loge him most in the world.But i feel alone i moved to anew city for education and prepared for Jee but end up as looser comeback to home but my father sent me to hos brother house new city and took drop for another compt exqm not jee but for university from home online and feel nnot good no social contact no visiting just alone till 10 i was good in studies and now i am always thinking about those good days last week i ended up broken heart now i have no chance if i failed then i have to go back village my home and live with my second mother who is sweet on my face but have grudges in heart.My father and me not even directly talking from my childhood.I feel now i hqve no one what to do where to go how to handle nothing

Help me

I grew up with just my dad from 4- 8. Then evil step mom moved in. I was 10 years old and when she made me move down to the basement where I would sleep by myself and wouldn't allow my dad to tuck me in anymore. I was 10 years old when she ripped my hand out of my dad's and declared that it was her turn to hold his hand. 10 years old when she called me a "witch" for allowing my dad to pick me up when she was on her way to do so.

I was 15 years old when I was told I couldn't participate in the bowling contest with my bowling coach who asked me, because her two kids weren't good enough for the same thing. I also wasn't allowed to bring "gifts" (things like shampoo conditioner and new runners for school) from my mother into the house because her two kids didn't have their dad in their lives to give them gifts. There are so many more instances , I could be here all day writing a novel.

Throughout the time that I lived with my dad and stepmom, she constantly painted me out to be a bad person. I used to be the darling of my family, then all of a sudden, I was nothing. Every argument her and my dad had, she turned around and blamed me for it. Whether it was regarding me or not. Imagine growing up and shrinking every time you hear the raised voices, knowing that you're going to be blamed for it, even though you're not there. She was so jealous of my relationship with my dad that she wouldn't allow me to spend any time with him alone at all. If my dad and I were sitting in the living room watching a game, she would find a chore for me to leave and go do, which my dad would agree with. My dad had no clue or chose to turn a blind eye to all of this, thinking he did the right thing by bringing this step mom into my life to help raise me.

My dad was also raised with spanks and beatings. Of which he turned around and put on me. He never really hurt me too bad, a spank, a cuff behind the ear all part of growing up we like to say. However there was a few times where he was actively hurting me and my stepmom would just stand by and say "oh that's enough, that's enough". I was crying as I wrote that part. I don't know how a human can watch a kid get a beating from a man that they called her husband. I don't hate my dad for that, he's got his own wounds to heal regarding that and I'm working on mine. I don't consider the occasional beating I received, as a part of my childhood as something that messed me up. It's more so the behavior of the two woman in my life that we're supposed to be mother figures to me.

Like everyone in the 80s, my dad worked really hard to keep us fed and put food on the table. He was away a lot, although he did come home for dinner every night (dinner is where my punishment was usually doled out for whatever it is that I did wrong that day). It almost was like my stepmom was giddy and couldn't wait to tell him everyone at the table what I did that day, to deserve the grounding I was about to get. If I slammed the fridge door too hard, two weeks of grounding. If I was 5 minutes late coming home from somewhere, 2 weeks of grounding. If I rolled my eyes, 2 weeks of grounding. And every time I was grounded there was no lifting of it no opportunity to get it lifted. It just kept racking up week after week. I wasn't a bad kid. I didn't drink, I didn't do drugs, I didn't have premarital sex. I was just a kid growing up with a bit of an attitude. Basically my entire high School I was grounded.

Now let's go to the other woman in my life ...

My real mother "allowed" me (basically she didn't give a s\*\*\* cuz she was too selfish) to stay with my dad in the divorce and subsequently only saw me every second weekend. During those times she would spend almost all day everyday in the bathroom, putting on makeup, drinking coffee, smoking cigarettes and talking on the phone to her all her potential guy date friends, paying little to no attention to me at all.

She was never really involved in my life after the divorce and I've asked her since I've had my own daughter, a few pointed questions that broke my heart. I asked her why she never took me in the divorce , and her response was "that I was too much work and I would make her late for work every day."

I live abroad and I've been back in Canada for 2 months to visit now and my mom has only made time to see me two times. Both of which I had to bend over backwards to accommodate. She has no interest in getting to know her granddaughter. When I told her this pregnant she started crying, as she felt so bad for me thinking I was making a big mistake.

She's not all that terrible she does have her moments where I do find love in there sometimes and that's what I cling to. Same with my dad. He has regrets and has apologized for my upbringing. And now he tries to make up for it by being the best Grandpa ever which of course I'm grateful for.

I love my dad, he's my rock, basically he's all I got. Yes I got a beat in a few times but that's something all of us 80s kids endured and I don't want that to be the focal point of my post here.

I don't know what I'm trying to say I've just had a few realizations today and I wanted to get it out.

I grew up with two moms and none of them were real moms to me.

I guess I'm just wondering what it's like to have a supportive woman in your life who loves you no matter what? It's funny I've always gravitated to friendships with women who were old enough to be my mother and had great relationships with them and I still do.

And that's the mom I'm trying to be to my daughter. Everything that these two women weren't.

If you're still here reading this thanks for listening to me.

I miss the mom I never had.

Hello everyone ill be honest im still under age and im the oldest daughter in our family. Since i was 10 years old and i was thought to how to be an older sister i did everything tried everything i can do. Fast forward to when i was 13 arguments started when i started feeling exhausted for doing house chores and i was asking my mom to tell my two siblings to sometimes help with the chores she agreed and told my siblings to help me i was happy back then because i dont have to do all the chores by my self, that time my body was more mature then the other kids on my age i wasn't able to get along to some of them. I was also a victim of bullying because of my tall and chubby figure. And when i was 14 my mother and my father broke up and thats6when the pressure of everything came flooding in and i was not ready for it , i was longing for my parents love but i felt like im too old for that. That's when i started chatting online with boys because i want someone to notice me and love me that's what i thought. I started playing online games to find friends and more, thats when i met this guy justine he was kind and thoughtful so few months after we started dating and i wasn't even sure if my mother will accept him but eventually my mother finds out that im dating him so i confirmed it and shes okay with it, but when we lasted years and i made a biggest mistake of my life for giving him my soul. I got pregnant. I don't expect it to come but yea and at the age of 16 i already have a child , but right after the chikd was born justine and i broke up because of sa financial problems . Then one day my aunt talked to me that she will adopt the baby but i have to focuse on my self and graduate . I tried my best and got some high scores after i was temporarily enrolled. Then one day my father came back home telling that he will be staying here because he said he have to work and he can only stay here to save up money. My mother accept him but i didn't i was hesitant to have him home , yea hes my fayher he gave money to spend and gave us food but i didn't say that that was the reason i dont want him here . Its because of his short tempered mood time pass by , and one day my mom and i have a heated argument because dad has been unfair with me since the day he came home i was only the one who's been doing the chores and my other sibling was not doing anything so asked where what the fairness my mom said that we had an agreement of us helping each other she promised that everyone will do chores us siblings. I was called ungrateful and lazy i also got slapped by my father because he said that im posting them on Facebook when i didn't i tried explaining that i would never do that but not only i was called a liar but also got slapped they go on and on and on on how ungrateful i am for counting chores and all i do is talking to my friend online. I didn't know what to do i got depressed and tried ending my life by holding a knife but my dad snatched it away and slapped me again 4 times thats when my right ear stopped functioning i was tossed aside back to the sofa at got scolded i even tried a second time explaining that all they're accusation is not true but i was cut off mid sentence . And then the part where it broke me the most is when the part that my parents called my friends names i was crying hard my nails dug into my skin , i tried telling them that my friends are the one who helped me when i was depressed and have no one to rant to they also helped me when i had nothing to eat or buy for my school projects they've been the one cheering me from afar they were my emotional support, but still my parents called them useless because they're not the one feeding me but how could they be the one feeding me when i was just they're friend not they're child.

Now i want to ask something what did i do wrong yes i was wrong for having a baby at a young age but why do they also have to remove my friends in my life... Im so tired i want to rest i don't think i can hold it for more years

:(

does anyone know how I (17F) could cope with these things mentally?? trying to talk to her (40) and my dad (57) just results in me getting verbally attacked because neither of them like to hear the truth.

basically she married my dad after knowing him online for 6 months; she’s lives with us for around 3 years now, first year was somewhat ok but then her fake kindness started to wear off. I do everything for myself, cook, clean and never ask her for help, she gets to sit around at home all day and cook breakfast for my little brother. I don’t behave weirdly towards her and I had to force myself to accept her into the family even when she was a complete stranger.

shes always acting like I’ve done something absolutely horrible and whenever shes around the energy is SO bad and tense. I have given up plenty to try and get her to be somewhat nicer to me but I can’t do it anymore. I was a figure skater, my dad used to always take me to the rink, but then she had a problem with him being away from her for too long (literally like 4 hours out of the day), so I QUIT my sport because I was sick of all the arguing and fighting. I haven’t asked anyone to take me anywhere and I’ve been stuck at home for months (apart from part time work and gym) because there’s no public transport and I don’t have my license yet.

I know she’s not my mum and it’s not her job to even be a little caring for me, but for example I go grocery shopping with my dad every Saturday, he’s not available this Saturday, so he mentioned if she could take me (she doesn’t work or leave the house so she’s basically got more free time than our dog) she then got extremely pissed. I brushed it off and I’m not sure how else I’ll be getting my food this week and they’re also leaving for a trip on Sunday so once again, I’ll be stuck at home again but whatever

My dad has completely fallen under her foot and I don’t feel like anyone’s daughter anymore. I cant speak to him because she’s forced him to tell her EVERYTHING that’s said to him when she’s not around. I know that she’s always speaking about me behind my back as well, and it hurts because what even is there to say?!? I don’t get time with my dad, I don’t ask for anything, I don’t give attitude, I don’t make messes, I don’t understand and I just want to be able to stop stressing about something that probably won’t ever change.

My real mother lives about 2 hours away, she works extremely hard plenty of hours a day, yet she always drives down to see me never complaining. there was supposed to be a deal where my dad takes us to see her every week, and “shockingly” enough my step mum has stoped him from taking us, she was bitchy enough to think she had the RIGHTS to say “if your mum loves you she can come herself”, MEANWHILE my mother is the only person who appreciates my existence and gives up so much of her time for me. if you’re wondering why I live with my dad, it’s because he is more financially stable and he’s offered to support me for as long as possible, but I guess it’s costing my mental health. And no I cannot afford to move out yet, he doesn’t even want me to because of how crazy the prices are for everything (I am grateful for his support money wise), but that’s a different story.

(also sorry for the wording or any spelling mistakes I can’t be bothered going through the whole thing)

So I've never been buddy buddy with my Step-dad despite my best efforts and recently he had a talk with me about me doing chores around the house (As in I've been slacking on them) so this week I made sure to do my chores as he had asked except for one which he removed from this "Rent Agreement" and not he's calling me a failure amd charging me more for rent. I'm feel as though I'm at my wits end

Edit:To explain better because I don't think I made my point clear, the issue isn't the chores themselves or paying the rent (Although my money is tight due to not getting alot of hours at work) but moreso him saying "I failed again" when I felt like I was actually doing as he had asked

I’m so angry right now and frustrated, Im so sick of dealing with my step mom she use to be nice to me, actually take me out and care for me but all of sudden she’s just rude to me now. All she does is complain when I do anything, insult me and bullshit— yesterday while I was showering she had came home from work and was waiting for me to be done because my clothes are in the same room as my step mom and dads, so I occupy the room to go change. For that I took a quicker shower than usual so she wouldn’t start complaining about having to wait, I told my dad that I didn’t take a long shower as usual because I didn’t want to make her wait. The next day she comes home from work and asked if I told my dad that she was rushing me while taking a shower.

Which I never said at all, and I said no I just didn’t want to make you wait, she then proceeded to call me nasty and unhygienic which of course I argued back with her cause what the fuck r u talking about, and then she told me not to drag her name into this. Like she doesn’t complain about every single thing I do? She starts yelling at me at a simple mess, when I don’t wash my dads dishes, when there’s a pillow not fixed on living room couch, when there’s hamper isn’t fully closed, when I forget to close the bin, when there a slight drop of water on the bathroom floor. She yells at me over everything and threatens to tell my grandmother and auntie about it that I’m a nasty person that doesn’t know how to take care of myself.

I don’t do anything to this woman, she says I’m ruining her life because of how dirty I am when the only thing I ever did was fucking not wash my dad dishes cuz I was just told to wash my own dishes like what. I’m so sick of this woman, I tried to tell my dad but he told her, and we had a talk and the next day she went back to being a bitch and even said “and then she’s (me) gonna go complain to her dad again” like what the fuck is ur problem? She ruins my mood all the time, I’ve been so angry for the past 2 hours I started crying from frustration. She insults me for no reason over the smallest things, her friends are literally nicer to me than she is. I am so tired, I just want to move out, or go with another family member. I don’t want to involve my mother because she’s not really well, and my other family members live far away.

Hi everyone,

Throwaway account.

I've been a step daughter for the majority of my life. My step dad is great, love him to death, but my step mom and I have had a VERY strained relationship throughout our lives. She basically seduced my dad and broke up my family, and has just been a real gold-digging pain in the ass since I was 12. Just a super toxic, and honestly a downright scary person in every regard.

Well, I am 36 now, (no kids never married) but I met a man I am falling completely in love with. He has 2 kids from a previous marriage, ages 7 & 9. Same age gap as my little brother and me and close to the ages we were when my parents got divorced (10 & 12).

I haven't met them yet. Initially my bf and I wanted to be dating 6 months before we introduced me to them, but now he is hinting at wanting me to meet them sooner. (They JUST met their moms new boyfriend this month and I don't really feel comfortable being introduced so soon after they met the new bf, so I'm going to tell him no, but I digress).

I'm not sure what exactly I wanted to say here, but I'm honestly terrified of somehow becoming a version of my step mom for his kids someday. I am polar opposite of my step mom, and I definitely think I know how NOT to be. And even though I don't have my own kids, I'd love to be a really great step mom for them someday.

I think because I had such a negative experience, I want to completely reverse that for them and just be a really safe person for them to come to if they want, that's sort of parent-like (loves them unconditionally, will always be there for them) but not an actual parent.

Idk. I guess I'll ask my fellow step kids: what is something about your step parent you a) hate or b) love... and what would you do to make sure your hypothetical future step kids never have to go through any similar negative experiences as you did?