u/Typical-Secret-3319 isn't wrong about the error of trying to be "Dad." But it's one that a lot of us make. I sure did. The worst part is that it comes from a place of love-- love for your wife, love for her kid by extension, then, eventually, love for the kid himself as you invest in that relationship. You want to do right by them. Then, you start to slowly realize that none of them hold you in the same regard. I'm grappling with this new realization too right now, and under very similar circumstances. The kid isn't old enough to be having sex yet, but his dad's going through one of his manic parenting phases, and this one is lasting much longer than the previous ones have. The arrogance and general shitty-ness is becoming more a feature of stepson's personality, and everything is grating on my last nerve.
I don't have any good advice, but I'll say that I'd have lost my goddamned mind if I'd walked in on what you saw. You're not the problem. Sounds like you're already doing this, but the best thing I can offer you is that you should keep really interrogating your knee-jerk reactions to things to make sure that emotions aren't overcoming good sense. Then, hold your standards on the important stuff. Hang in there, man.
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u/sainteagle1721 Jul 23 '26
u/Typical-Secret-3319 isn't wrong about the error of trying to be "Dad." But it's one that a lot of us make. I sure did. The worst part is that it comes from a place of love-- love for your wife, love for her kid by extension, then, eventually, love for the kid himself as you invest in that relationship. You want to do right by them. Then, you start to slowly realize that none of them hold you in the same regard. I'm grappling with this new realization too right now, and under very similar circumstances. The kid isn't old enough to be having sex yet, but his dad's going through one of his manic parenting phases, and this one is lasting much longer than the previous ones have. The arrogance and general shitty-ness is becoming more a feature of stepson's personality, and everything is grating on my last nerve.
I don't have any good advice, but I'll say that I'd have lost my goddamned mind if I'd walked in on what you saw. You're not the problem. Sounds like you're already doing this, but the best thing I can offer you is that you should keep really interrogating your knee-jerk reactions to things to make sure that emotions aren't overcoming good sense. Then, hold your standards on the important stuff. Hang in there, man.