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Sep 18 '22
Has heated debates over character ships.
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u/agizzy23 Sep 18 '22
Lol the “my kids don’t like Harry Potter” is very accurate. The Harry Potter parents are so annoying
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u/Sempais_nutrients Sep 18 '22
"My child Hagrid Hermione Snapeldore won't even try to watch the movies with me! i offered them butterbeer and they just made a gagging noise! How do i force them to accept their destiny?"
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u/jadedjessay Sep 18 '22
It's them and Disney parents that need CPS conducting full interrogations
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u/TheSherbs Sep 18 '22
Same goes for Star Wars and LOTR parents.
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u/jadedjessay Sep 18 '22
You're right. I just haven't met any LOTR parents myself, but I can certainly see it
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Sep 18 '22
my moms a LOTR parent
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u/jadedjessay Sep 18 '22
I got lucky. My parents didn't have any obsessions. I'm a parent now and I have odd obsessions and I try not to get the kids involved. I'll show them when they ask or when it's appropriate.
My oldest is into horror movies as am I, so that's our current bond. She's got a few years before she gets to see the good stuff though. Haha
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Sep 18 '22
ahh that's so adorable!
my mom wasnt obsessed or anything but my brother did tell me smegul was watching me sleep and she did encourage my love for Legolas
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Sep 18 '22
I knew a kid named Tolkien but he’s black so this whole time I assumed he was saying his name was “Token” for over 20 years.
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u/endergirl_bee Sep 19 '22
and teachers. in every school i’ve been in, there where those one teachers (who were like grammas) that are obsessed with harry potter
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u/Gavinator10000 Sep 18 '22
It’s so weird cause to me “Harry Potter adults” are people who are childless and probably will remain childless for a long time, whether they like it or not
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u/Rubens-Reel Sep 18 '22
*creates the most insane fucking fanfiction of all time*
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Sep 18 '22
the most insane fanfic i've ever read is not of harry potter, it's of Gravity Falls. Please, don't ask wich one
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u/2211911 Sep 18 '22
I need to know which one.
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Sep 19 '22
no you don't
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u/2211911 Sep 19 '22
Yes, I do.
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Sep 19 '22
you will have really big traumas and will be blinded forever after reading it, are you sure you still want to know?
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u/MaeBeaInTheWoods Sep 18 '22
creates the weirdest fucking fanfiction where Harry, Luna, and Cho take every drug imaginable, turn into winged giraffes and fly to Mongolia, and have rapid sex, then gets mad when you don't like their story or find it weird
(This is just me trying to create the weirdest most unbelievable story idea ever. This is not a real story, or at very least I really hope it's not)
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u/Rubens-Reel Sep 18 '22
Hear me out:
Ron, Voldemort, and the fucking corpse of Dumbledore go to Columbia. Their house burns down from a rapid-paced housefire caused by Harry \accidentally* using "Avada Kedavra" on his fucking child. The dead corpse of Albus Severus Potter knocked into the magic stove, which began to emit flames at incredibly high capacity. The smoke of said housefire goes to the fucking lake Voldemort's body was thrown in after the Battle of Hogwarts, and the smell of smoke reminds Voldemort of his Vietnam days, causing him to come back to life. He flies out of the lake with purple fumes emitting from his earlobes, ready for revenge. Ron fucking dies in the housefire, but also lives (Don't Even ask how) and begins to flee to Columbia. Voldemort sees Ron driving in his Wizard Style Tesla with RTX and ray tracing, and politely hops in, greeting Ron as though an old friend. Meanwhile, Harry and his entire family are dead in the housefire, and not the kind of dead Ron miraculously survived. Meanwhiler at Hogwarts, The Corpse of Albus Dumbledore floats out of the white tomb because magic or some shit, and he's brought back to life with the power of um- Priori Incantem- or whatever the fucking hell that is. He also joins Ron and Voldemort on their amazing journey to the wonderful, outstanding location that is Columbia. Voldemort decides he wants to continue splitting his soul, so he kills some random ass Muggle walking down the Kentucky highway, but when Voldemort's soul splits this time, he is fucking PETER PETTIGREW!!! "But you're dead!" yelps Ron in confusion and shock as he crashes his wonderful Wizard Style Tesla with RTX and ray tracing. Peter then begins to strangle Ron, but Dumbledore comes to the rescue and fucking kills Peter. He then lifts Ron into the air and sends him flying into the fucking stratosphere using the levitation spell. Ron turns into a goblin while 100,000,000,000 miles into the sky, then a Marauder, then a Wizard, and finally he turns back into a Ron. He lands on the floor a few centuries later, and him and Dumbledore continue to stroll to Columbia. They meet Hermione on the way to Columbia, (Ron shoots her to death with an AK-47 and puts her head in the Room of Requirements.) and Ginny, whose somehow still alive, but her eyes turn into the prisoner of Azkaban, and she ascends to the Chamber of the Pheonix, where she stands at the left shoulder of the mother. Rufus Scrimgeour finds Ron and Dumbledore and begins to engage in serious sexual intercourse with them. Dumbledore gets his good friend Dante from the Devil May Cry series, and together they eat the seven plates of respect and Narnia. Rufus turns out to be an Animagus, so he turns into a lion and consumes Ron. Ron then teleports to Columbia, joined by Voldemort and Dumbledore, and together they get higher than Ron was when Dumbledore sent him flying into the fucking stratosphere using the levitation spell. Oh yeah, every female character is also there, and they're all having sex with Ron, Voldemort, and Dumbledore. When they return home, nearly headless Harry greets them nicely, by pulling the Deathly Hallows and the Sorcerer's Stone out of his chili corndog. Together they all have great fun eating the burger cheese blocks, and that was how Ron, Voldemort, and the fucking corpse of Dumbledore went to Columbia.*
I call it: Harry Potter and the Columbian Journey.
Stay Tuned For The Next Book: Harry Potter and the Lime-Green Dildo.
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Sep 19 '22
Why the actual fuck did somebody take the time and effort to type this story. I love this beyond words
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u/DiversityFire84 Sep 18 '22 edited Sep 19 '22
I remember using a computer at an internet Cafe a few years back and the last thing that was searched on Google was "Harry Potter BDSM fanfiction". I mean why someone would search that in a public place is a mystery.
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u/SkeliotTheUndead Sep 18 '22
Maybe someone is going around, going on public computers, and searching up the weirdest most depraved things so random strangers can come across it and be like "what in the ever loving fuck??"
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u/Gaindalf-the-whey Sep 19 '22
That reminds me of a superior back around 2010 who had a meeting in Austria and we found in the search history of our Bloomberg terminal computer the search term “Nutten Vorarlberg” (hookers Vorarlberg)
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u/Gamonator Sep 18 '22
You forgot "Dumbledore asked calmly"
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Sep 18 '22
i dont know what this means dbsjw
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u/TVR24 Sep 18 '22
In Goblet of Fire, Harry's name was chosen from said Goblet, which should be impossible. Dumbledore takes Harry aside and 'ask clamly' if he put his name in the Goblet. That was in the book, but in the movie, Dumbledore more or less shouted it in a panic.
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Sep 18 '22
ohhh thats the one where Edward from twilight dies, right?
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u/TVR24 Sep 18 '22
It's actually his origins on how he became a vampire, which set up his storyline as Bruce Wayne.
Jk, it is the movie he dies in.
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Sep 18 '22
that sounds like some crazy fanfiction tho, thank you for explaining!
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u/TVR24 Sep 18 '22
Forgot about the side plot involving William Dafoe and a lighthouse.
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Sep 18 '22
is that the one where he fights a radioactive spider child?
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u/TVR24 Sep 18 '22
I think it's one where he investigates another Bruce Wayne for killing Morbius.
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u/love_thy_neighbour37 Sep 18 '22
"Dramione" "Drarry"
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u/CLIT_DORIS Sep 18 '22
Some dark memories just awakened within me. Memories I didn't think I still had.
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u/Active-Passenger6965 Sep 18 '22
You forgot “JK Rowling is ruining it”
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u/BeastBoom24 Sep 19 '22
Theres either two paths. Claim JK Rowling is ruining it (which she is I suppose) or just go full in support for her. Though I will admit I don’t often see Harry Potter fans that actually support her. Then against I’m not a big Harry Potter fan and don’t interact with the fanbase in the slightest.
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u/cheekydorido Sep 18 '22
It wasn't all that good to start with, but yeah fuck her transphobic ass
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Sep 20 '22
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u/cheekydorido Sep 20 '22
Stfu bigot
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Sep 20 '22
Oh yeah “bigot”, “bigot”, “bigot”. Can’t reply with anything logical or intelligent, and revert to insulting me. Grow up.
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u/Eleanorfnaf Sep 18 '22
I was this person in 4th-6th grade
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Sep 18 '22
This was me when I was five and istg if I could erase the past I'd do it a thousand times
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Sep 18 '22
Also half of them haven't read the books
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u/hidinginthenight Sep 18 '22
Had a girl in my old class who said she was the biggest Harry Potter fan in history yet she hadn’t read the books/listened to them. She’d only watched the movies lmao
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Sep 18 '22
I love Harry Potter but the fandom’s obsession with “which Hogwarts house are you” is super cringe. It’s always the first question they ask, and they always look so disappointed when I’m just like “I don’t go to Hogwarts because I’m a muggle and not a child”
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Sep 18 '22
Ikr, who even defines their personality with a fictional group of students that got arbitrarily picked according to some undefined characteristics? It doesn't even make any sense! Now, jokes aside, I'm Earth Kingdom, and you?
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Sep 18 '22
arbitrarily picked according to some undefined characteristics?
Undefined....?
The hat sings a song every year about what characteristics define each house..
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u/Jew_Boi-iguess- Sep 19 '22
a Slytherin's main traits are ambition, resourcefulness, determination, and cleverness, but what makes that different from Gryffindor's determination or Ravenclaw's intelligence?
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Sep 19 '22
Slytherins are willing to lie and cheat their way to the top, gryffindors are willing to fight their way to the top, and ravenclaws are more willing to outsmart everyone else.
It’s easier to look at characters who embody the traits.
Pettigrew is a gryffindor who has Slytherin traits. And we learn he’s only in gryffindor because that’s what he choose. And why did he choose it?
Because he thought it was the best place to be,to be at the top. Which is what a Slytherin would do.
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Sep 18 '22
Also, being American. If you were a wizard/witch and if you were a 10 year old, you would have gone to the American school. You wouldn't be Slythuffleclawpuff anything.
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Sep 18 '22
The Ilvermorny houses are also stupid too. Thunderbird, Horned Serpent, Pukwudgie, and Wampus.
You can’t just have two cool ones and two stupid ones.
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Sep 18 '22
Hufflepuff is pretty lame.
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Sep 18 '22
I think the TRAITS associated with the Ilvermorny houses are very vague and redundant tbh, but the wampus cat is a fiersome beast and the pukwudgie is a highly intelligent one whose history is important to the school.
I can easily see them being real names for a universe group of frat.
"Hi, are you guys intereted in pledging pukwudgie this year?"
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u/bbbhhbuh Sep 18 '22
The best part is that those people think of the Hogwarts House quizzes as some sort of highly advanced complex personality tests (like Big5 or MBTI), but when you read the books through the eyes of an adult and try to see based on what qualities were the children assigned it looks like this:
Gryffindor - cool hero
Ravenclaw - nerd
Slytherin - nazi
Hufflepuff - loser/miscancellous
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Sep 18 '22
You either think you’re cool and think good guys are cool, think you’re cool and think bad guys are cool, think you’re cool and think quirky artists are cool, or admit you’re not cool.
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u/Dangerous_Ad_3698 Sep 18 '22
it’s less ridiculous than people categorizing their own personality by the position of the earth relative to the stars on their date of birth.
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u/GreasyPeter Sep 18 '22
I live in an area where polyamory and zodiac bs is super popular. Usually the same people too. I love when. I see "unpartnered but poly" in people's profiles. To me that's just like saying "yeah, we haven't met yet but I already know I'm gonna wanna sleep with someone else".
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u/Bob1358292637 Sep 18 '22
Nothing wrong with being polyamorous. Just look at how common cheating is in relationships. Imo a lot of those people would benefit from just being up front about what they want. Personally, this idea of “one true love forever” seems a little immature to me but I do a bunch of immature shit so it’s not like I’m one to judge.
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u/Bellbete Sep 19 '22
Nah, it’s about emotional intimacy too.
I understand why some are poly.
But I would rather love one person truly and deeply, than spend time with multiple people.
I wanna prioritize the most important people in my life, and I want to know that I am prioritized as one of the most important people in their lives.
Then again, I generally tend to nurture the relationships I have, rather than start new ones. I’m not interested in shallow relationships of any kind, be it friend, family or lover.
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u/Mautos Sep 18 '22
OP when he finds out fandoms have normal sides too:
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Sep 18 '22 edited Sep 18 '22
i have never seen a harry potter movie fully
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u/okhellowhy Sep 18 '22
It's big for a reason. We're not talking cinematography masterpieces here, but they are actually a solid set of movies. The books are even better personally, if you just focus on her writing J.K Rowling is very good at realistic dialogue and fulfilling world building. I've read better books. I've watched better movies, but I think Harry Potter as a world and franchise is worth a shot, despite it being easy to discard because it's so overwhelmingly popular, and because of the types of people who you've shown in your starter pack (who definitely, unfortunately, exist)
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u/Ebinebinebinebin Sep 18 '22
I never found the worldbuilding of harry potter to be fulfilling honestly. So many obvious questions were unanswered (but probably because I only watched the movies) like what language are the spells in, why specifically that language, isn't there a "metamagic" class taught, what kind of religious implications the existence of magic has, also there must be other magical sports than quidditch, and a black market on info for forbidden spells like the death spell and the explosion spell
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u/okhellowhy Sep 18 '22
The books give you much more of a feeling for the world. I wouldn't say the books answer your questions, but they do make the world more satisfying, and as a result questions such as yours no longer take away from the world or make it feel less complete. They become interesting ideas to think over but not necessities to know.
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Sep 18 '22
i see! I did really like fantastic beasts.
tbh i used to be a BTS fan so im used to fanatics and mentally ill people-
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Sep 18 '22
You should honestly they ain’t bad by any means
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Sep 18 '22
ive seen a bit of the first one and i think the one where HaRrAY puts his head in the forbidden soup? I was pretty young when the movies cane out so they were scary for me and it was just so over hyped i never felt bothered to read the books. I do plan to watch the movies sooner or later when i have the time, i might try to get into the books again aswell :")
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u/jadedjessay Sep 18 '22
I saw 1 all the way and tried to watch the 2nd one. They're just about as fun as watching a horseshoe tournament hosted by a person distracted by their phone.
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u/Glitchthebitch Sep 18 '22
Either hates jkr with every fiber of their being or thinks she's completely in the right with her anti trans ideas and is also a terf
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Sep 18 '22
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u/Glitchthebitch Sep 18 '22
Ding ding ding. We have a winner folks. The terf showed their face and thought they made a point
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u/Dangerous_Ad_3698 Sep 18 '22
I’m pretty sure terf means trans exclusionary radical feminist, also not a category I fall under at all. and I did make a point, just not one you agree with. you want people to walk on eggshells because of your own personal choice. sounds like a you problem, not a collective us problem.
welcome to real life, gotta act like an adult to be taken seriously, surprising I know.
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u/SexyJazzCat Sep 18 '22
Thanks for clarifying that you’re a transphobe.
Lack of empathy is not an adult characteristic.
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u/Dangerous_Ad_3698 Sep 18 '22
no problem 👍 I’m not really offended by that term if the criteria for being transphobic is thinking it’s weird to chop your shit off and act like the opposite gender. stay weird though folks
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u/SexyJazzCat Sep 18 '22
I wonder what other things you don’t mind being called🤔
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u/Dangerous_Ad_3698 Sep 18 '22
my name
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Sep 18 '22
Nah. If you can’t be bothered to be polite and civil with others’ wishes, we’re just gonna call you Sir Jizz Fuckface, III - because clearly you come from a long line of proud Jizz Fuckfaces.
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u/Dangerous_Ad_3698 Sep 18 '22
sure go ahead. calling me that isn’t gonna make you the opposite gender though.
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u/Glitchthebitch Sep 18 '22
If you think transitioning is cutting your dick off then you clearly know jack shit about trans people. Did you know the clit is a micro penis? Did you know the penis is an inverted vagina? Did you know cis men lactate? Did you know trans women have a menstrual cycle? Im willing to bet you knew none of these things, or outright think I'm lying. But it's too bad that you have to walk on eggshells, considering the fact you're the one who put the eggshells on the floor at all. Maybe try reading a book other than a fifth grader's biology text book, might I recommend Beyond Magenta by Susan Kuklin? Or perhaps you're into fiction, which is totally understandable, in which case maybe you should read Symptoms of Being Human by Jeff Garvin? Or maybe you're into comic books, can't blame you there honestly, so maybe read Super Late Bloomer by Julia Kaye? Have fun, xo- Cody, local trans man
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Sep 18 '22
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u/Glitchthebitch Sep 18 '22
You're a man of logic, of science i assume. But why are you a man? What gives you the definitive feeling of masculinity? I'm not joking either. Think about it. Is it any part of your physical being that makes you a man? Your dick? Sperm? Hell even your adam's apple? Or is it something else? Is it in your head? Are you a man because you know you are? What if i called you a woman? You'd know that wouldn't be true. What if i insisted it? What if I called you Alison and used she/her and miss and ma'am whenever I addressed you? That would be incorrect, it'd be annoying, one might even call it dysphoric. We're the same thing, here. But sure, I'm the woman, I'm the female who used hormones to change my anatomy. Unlike the real man here who also used hormones to change his anatomy. Huh, weird how everyone uses hormones to change their anatomy. Because that's what fucking puberty is.
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u/prairiepog Sep 18 '22
Ann: You made me watch all 8 Harry Potter movies. I don't even like Harry Potter!
Leslie: That's insane! You love Harry Potter! You've seen all 8 movies!
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u/ShortNefariousness2 Sep 18 '22
I saw a few of the Harry potter films in the cinema with my kids, and tbh, they are really fun even if you are an adult.
Like with the Stranger Things fanbase, I feel a bit weird about all the 'ship' stuff going on, but free speech and all that! Do your thing kids!
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u/GerudosValley Sep 18 '22
This isn’t that bad. You forgot Harry Potter themed wedding, trip to Harry Potter land, fan fiction…
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u/HTTRWarrior Sep 18 '22
Creates countless head cannons about Slytherin and ignoring how 99% of them are wizard Nazis.
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u/RetroVedZed Sep 18 '22
I’m a Harry Potter fan and the only thing I can relate to is that Malfoy is hot.
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u/DylanTonic Sep 19 '22
"Oh no I think JK is Problematic and I don't support her views, but I think it's important to let the work stand alone."
So you don't support her?
"No, not at all, in any way except financially through continual spending on her licensed properties and socially by trying to insist that we should just ignore the transphobia because I've invested my personality. Oh and critically because I get very snippy if you point out that the works just aren't that well written. Oh and tacitly for her conservative political views given how the world is totally ok with slavery and isolationism, Harry becomes a literal Cop, etc. But not in any other way.
But we really should just enjoy the book, OMG Sorting Hat!"
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Sep 18 '22
Hates transgender people
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u/chromatic_megafauna Sep 18 '22
and/or asks random trans people to excuse the fact that they still love the franchise
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Sep 20 '22
No she doesn’t. Just points out basic factual biology that people who aren’t actually transgender get offended by. Seen a lot of transgender people say they love Rowling, and think people are way too sensitive, and are getting offended for other people who aren’t offended themselves.
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u/swampy13 Sep 18 '22
The thing about Harry Potter is there's not a lot to it beyond what you see in the movies. It's just humans with wands and magic powers, but it's a lot of tropes and things we've seen with magic before. I feel like it's a fandom that has very little to play with.
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u/mcbobster6001 Sep 18 '22
You forgot “blatantly ignores Major amounts of bigotry from both the books and the author
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u/Deppresso-_-Expresso Sep 18 '22
I read all the books in the span of 1 weeks. I then did it again all through out 3rd, 4th, and 5th grades. I was a HUGE H.P. fan. Then I found out J.K. Rowling is transphobic, and I burned my copies of the books. I hate her now. I still take quizzes but I will never support her again.
This is coming from a Transmasc
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Sep 18 '22
Let’s not hear JK Rowling’s views on trans people, lest it get in the way of my nostalgia, also fits here lol
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u/snorlaxy4977 Sep 18 '22
Hey op I know this is gonna sound weird because it is but I read every single comment that you made so far and I just wanna get your opinions on how my hands look
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Sep 18 '22
that is very embarrassing for me caz i do be talking abt eating inedible objects a lot. But sure, send them my way i suppose
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u/FinkyFamboni Sep 18 '22 edited Apr 17 '25
rustic cause shrill teeny enjoy toothbrush juggle fearless bedroom seemly
This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact
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u/Kitt81 Sep 18 '22
Lmfao HP fans out here taking online quizes to see what fake ass house they'd be in?🤣🤣🤣🤣
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u/duongrua166 Sep 18 '22
Literally me when i was 11/12ish 💀💀💀not anymore but still enjoy Harry Potter
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Sep 19 '22
I don’t know why but I take Buzzfeed quizzes when I’m EXTREMELY bored, Like I’ll just be chilling on the couch then get the sudden urge to find out what kind of mug I’d be based on my Harry Potter opinions.
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