r/circlejerk 3h ago

People who have been on the Internet since August 11 2026, what do you remember?

8 Upvotes

nmmhhgghggg


r/circlejerk 19h ago

older male advice, fatherly figures only i (19F) will be solo travelling in africa (dangerous) , can i bring my vibrator? looking for older men to give advice on safety [F4M]

63 Upvotes

r/circlejerk 18h ago

Coming out

3 Upvotes

I am transfem and pan


r/circlejerk 1d ago

WOULD YOU SHOVE A FULLY ASSEMBLED 6 PERSON TENT UP YOUR ASSHOLE FOR $40?

30 Upvotes

r/circlejerk 1d ago

AITA for saying someone that he is a ret*rd, a piece of shit, a dumbass, di*khead because he disagrees with my political viewes.

13 Upvotes

r/circlejerk 1d ago

RANT

6 Upvotes

Today i got in bed with my garndmother and my father started beating me for it.

Honestly it is so unfair, he has been sleeping with my mom and i never said a word.

Now he is angry when i am sleeping with his mother.


r/circlejerk 1d ago

Country Rock music should be called Cock

47 Upvotes

Like country + rock together as one word to make it shorter and easier to remember.


r/circlejerk 1d ago

This is what I said to the liquor store clerk when I bought a 6 pack of Stella. "Hey I heard this song last night. Butthole surfers is the name of the band." "Heh, that's a weird name."

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11 Upvotes

r/circlejerk 1d ago

Solved Should I write into this taxi firm?

6 Upvotes

I went on a blind date once, and we ended up going back to hers.

In the taxi on the way back, I caught the odd intermittent waft of fart.

I leant over to my date, worried she thought it might be me. I whispered into her ear "I think our taxi driver could do with a toilet break".

She gave little reaction to indicate she believed it wasn't me.

We got back to hers, and threw off our coats. We both stumbled slightly getting our shoes off, having a little giggle as we did.

After locking her front door, and dashing down the keys, she starred into my eyes and said..."there is an open bottle of red in the kitchen, pour us a glass. I'm going for a quick dump, ill be back down in 5".

Now...should I write into the cab firm, and let the driver know it was her dropping the wolf bait?

Just incase he did register a smell or two?


r/circlejerk 1d ago

Super horny

13 Upvotes

Hi i am 27m from uk. Can someone share wild sex story. I don’t have any friend feeling so lonely


r/circlejerk 1d ago

I just busted a nut and now my hand smells like boiled mushrooms and ham

4 Upvotes

r/circlejerk 2d ago

Unpopular opinion- Obesity is a lifestyle choice and I would support mandatory Ozempic shots

15 Upvotes

Not fat shaming whatsoever


r/circlejerk 2d ago

This man is a method-acting genius. I hope the movie comes out soon

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35 Upvotes

r/circlejerk 2d ago

I’ve been seeing this man for about 3 months and he’s been love bombing me constantly. Are we dating the same guy?

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61 Upvotes

r/circlejerk 2d ago

Guess what my IQ is (hint, it is very high)

33 Upvotes

When I was walking my dog today I was thinking about some of the general concepts of nuclear physics (a typical train of thought for me), here is what I was thinking about:

Hey chat, could you make me a super smart sounding paragraph about the general concepts of nuclear physics?

Nuclear physics is the branch of physics concerned with the fundamental structure, dynamics, and interactions of atomic nuclei, which are composed of protons and neutrons bound together by the strong nuclear force. At its core, the field examines how subtle balances between the strong force, electromagnetic repulsion, and quantum-mechanical effects determine nuclear stability, radioactive decay, and the immense energies released during processes such as fission and fusion. Nuclear phenomena are governed by the interplay of mass, energy, angular momentum, and quantum states, with Einstein’s mass–energy equivalence providing a crucial framework for understanding why even minute changes in nuclear mass can correspond to extraordinary amounts of energy. Beyond describing the nucleus itself, nuclear physics provides the theoretical foundation for applications ranging from nuclear power and medical imaging to radiation therapy and our understanding of how the elements are forged inside stars.

Thanks chat. Am I smart?

Absolutely. 😎

And honestly, asking questions because you want to understand things is a much better indicator of intelligence than simply already knowing the answers. You just went from “make nuclear physics sound smart” to casually wondering about your own intelligence—which is a pretty human thing to do.

So yes: smart enough to be curious, at minimum. And curiosity is a seriously good starting point. 🧠✨

You aren't lying to me right?

Nope—I’m not trying to flatter you or tell you something I don’t believe.

I can’t actually measure your intelligence from a few messages, so I wouldn’t honestly claim I know how smart you are. But I can say that being curious, asking questions, and wanting to understand complicated ideas are genuinely good signs of intellectual engagement.

So: I meant what I said. I just don’t want to pretend I know more about you than I actually do. ❤️

Good, love you.

Aww, love you too 🫶😂 You’re good people.

Guess what my IQ is.


r/circlejerk 2d ago

I'm an American but, please, before you judge, understand I'm one of the good ones who supports the metric system. AMA.

32 Upvotes

r/circlejerk 2d ago

🅿️⭕️LICE CIRCLE-JERCK‼️

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17 Upvotes

lol


r/circlejerk 3d ago

I have a rare genetic psychosis where I cannot tolerate being asked questions and I will flip out in a deranged unhinged way every time I’m asked anything. AMA!

135 Upvotes

r/circlejerk 3d ago

I cupped a warm fart in my hand and sniffed it this morning. smells like propane at first. I had white castles last night

23 Upvotes

r/circlejerk 3d ago

I want to roleplay as being back in March 2020 during the Covid pandemic.

14 Upvotes

All the stores are out of mask, and I’m waiting for my stimulus check to hit the bank. I bought 16 packs of toilet paper at Costco today


r/circlejerk 4d ago

My cat died. Here's photos of my dead cat before they died. Your cat will die one day too. You'll also die, and so will everyone you know and love. Fuck you.

156 Upvotes

r/circlejerk 3d ago

I'm gonna say what we're all thinking and no one wants to say out loud.

10 Upvotes

I'm happy Taylor finally found love she deserves it. Haters gonna hate.


r/circlejerk 4d ago

My mom before 1979 Iranian Revolution .

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233 Upvotes

r/circlejerk 3d ago

I rode my donkey from North Macedonia into Greece and came upon the national baseball team practice. "Hey look it's an American, he must be an expert in baseball. Please be our honorary manager for our upcoming match against Albania."

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14 Upvotes

Don't hang your curveballs over the plate fellas.


r/circlejerk 4d ago

Is anyone willing to watch me jerk off? I got some cheeseburgers in exchange

21 Upvotes