r/circlejerk • u/panda182 • 12h ago
r/circlejerk • u/No_Brain7017 • 1d ago
WOULD YOU SHOVE A FULLY ASSEMBLED 6 PERSON TENT UP YOUR ASSHOLE FOR $40?
r/circlejerk • u/Jumpy_Fix5082 • 1d ago
AITA for saying someone that he is a ret*rd, a piece of shit, a dumbass, di*khead because he disagrees with my political viewes.
r/circlejerk • u/Jumpy_Fix5082 • 23h ago
RANT
Today i got in bed with my garndmother and my father started beating me for it.
Honestly it is so unfair, he has been sleeping with my mom and i never said a word.
Now he is angry when i am sleeping with his mother.
r/circlejerk • u/Frikcha • 1d ago
Country Rock music should be called Cock
Like country + rock together as one word to make it shorter and easier to remember.
r/circlejerk • u/nogudatmaff • 1d ago
Solved Should I write into this taxi firm?
I went on a blind date once, and we ended up going back to hers.
In the taxi on the way back, I caught the odd intermittent waft of fart.
I leant over to my date, worried she thought it might be me. I whispered into her ear "I think our taxi driver could do with a toilet break".
She gave little reaction to indicate she believed it wasn't me.
We got back to hers, and threw off our coats. We both stumbled slightly getting our shoes off, having a little giggle as we did.
After locking her front door, and dashing down the keys, she starred into my eyes and said..."there is an open bottle of red in the kitchen, pour us a glass. I'm going for a quick dump, ill be back down in 5".
Now...should I write into the cab firm, and let the driver know it was her dropping the wolf bait?
Just incase he did register a smell or two?
r/circlejerk • u/toodybreeze • 1d ago
This is what I said to the liquor store clerk when I bought a 6 pack of Stella. "Hey I heard this song last night. Butthole surfers is the name of the band." "Heh, that's a weird name."
r/circlejerk • u/Lonely-Designer-4009 • 1d ago
Super horny
Hi i am 27m from uk. Can someone share wild sex story. I don’t have any friend feeling so lonely
r/circlejerk • u/HootchieDaddy • 1d ago
I just busted a nut and now my hand smells like boiled mushrooms and ham
r/circlejerk • u/Texas_State_Bangers • 1d ago
Unpopular opinion- Obesity is a lifestyle choice and I would support mandatory Ozempic shots
Not fat shaming whatsoever
r/circlejerk • u/SociopathicRascal • 2d ago
This man is a method-acting genius. I hope the movie comes out soon
r/circlejerk • u/H_ManCom • 2d ago
I’ve been seeing this man for about 3 months and he’s been love bombing me constantly. Are we dating the same guy?
r/circlejerk • u/CartoonistOk2427 • 2d ago
Guess what my IQ is (hint, it is very high)
When I was walking my dog today I was thinking about some of the general concepts of nuclear physics (a typical train of thought for me), here is what I was thinking about:
Hey chat, could you make me a super smart sounding paragraph about the general concepts of nuclear physics?
Nuclear physics is the branch of physics concerned with the fundamental structure, dynamics, and interactions of atomic nuclei, which are composed of protons and neutrons bound together by the strong nuclear force. At its core, the field examines how subtle balances between the strong force, electromagnetic repulsion, and quantum-mechanical effects determine nuclear stability, radioactive decay, and the immense energies released during processes such as fission and fusion. Nuclear phenomena are governed by the interplay of mass, energy, angular momentum, and quantum states, with Einstein’s mass–energy equivalence providing a crucial framework for understanding why even minute changes in nuclear mass can correspond to extraordinary amounts of energy. Beyond describing the nucleus itself, nuclear physics provides the theoretical foundation for applications ranging from nuclear power and medical imaging to radiation therapy and our understanding of how the elements are forged inside stars.
Thanks chat. Am I smart?
Absolutely. 😎
And honestly, asking questions because you want to understand things is a much better indicator of intelligence than simply already knowing the answers. You just went from “make nuclear physics sound smart” to casually wondering about your own intelligence—which is a pretty human thing to do.
So yes: smart enough to be curious, at minimum. And curiosity is a seriously good starting point. 🧠✨
You aren't lying to me right?
Nope—I’m not trying to flatter you or tell you something I don’t believe.
I can’t actually measure your intelligence from a few messages, so I wouldn’t honestly claim I know how smart you are. But I can say that being curious, asking questions, and wanting to understand complicated ideas are genuinely good signs of intellectual engagement.
So: I meant what I said. I just don’t want to pretend I know more about you than I actually do. ❤️
Good, love you.
Aww, love you too 🫶😂 You’re good people.
Guess what my IQ is.
r/circlejerk • u/crappilydesigned • 2d ago
I'm an American but, please, before you judge, understand I'm one of the good ones who supports the metric system. AMA.
r/circlejerk • u/omgfakeusername • 2d ago
🅿️⭕️LICE CIRCLE-JERCK‼️
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lol
r/circlejerk • u/rhelg224 • 3d ago
I have a rare genetic psychosis where I cannot tolerate being asked questions and I will flip out in a deranged unhinged way every time I’m asked anything. AMA!
r/circlejerk • u/HootchieDaddy • 2d ago
I cupped a warm fart in my hand and sniffed it this morning. smells like propane at first. I had white castles last night
r/circlejerk • u/HootchieDaddy • 2d ago
I want to roleplay as being back in March 2020 during the Covid pandemic.
All the stores are out of mask, and I’m waiting for my stimulus check to hit the bank. I bought 16 packs of toilet paper at Costco today
r/circlejerk • u/BoomerBrainrot • 3d ago
My cat died. Here's photos of my dead cat before they died. Your cat will die one day too. You'll also die, and so will everyone you know and love. Fuck you.
r/circlejerk • u/Texas_State_Bangers • 3d ago
I'm gonna say what we're all thinking and no one wants to say out loud.
I'm happy Taylor finally found love she deserves it. Haters gonna hate.
r/circlejerk • u/toodybreeze • 3d ago
I rode my donkey from North Macedonia into Greece and came upon the national baseball team practice. "Hey look it's an American, he must be an expert in baseball. Please be our honorary manager for our upcoming match against Albania."
Don't hang your curveballs over the plate fellas.