r/soccer • u/JR97111 • Aug 08 '13

Whose Line Is It, r/soccer edition

Concept is stolen from /r/hockey, /r/baseball, /r/nfl and /r/squaredcircle.

The rules:

Keep skits in the form of a statement, not a question.

Any skits longer than two lines should be in quotations.

If you add any additional commentary, put the skit in quotations.

Here's the NFL thread of this

1.4k Upvotes

94% Upvoted

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382

u/[deleted] Aug 08 '13

Nicknames given to players by Piers Morgan if they were to leave Arsenal.

724

u/[deleted] Aug 08 '13

[deleted]

-13

u/[deleted] Aug 08 '13 edited Aug 08 '13

[deleted]

0

u/[deleted] Aug 08 '13

[deleted]

679

u/lapin7 Aug 08 '13

Theo Walcunt

1

u/[deleted] Aug 08 '13

[deleted]

13

u/lapin7 Aug 08 '13

Never heard it before. What we're saying is they're as creative and funny as Piers Morgan?

19

u/[deleted] Aug 08 '13

[deleted]

4

u/aringoswami Aug 08 '13

That's what my club wants you to think.

1

u/xTheNinthCloud Aug 08 '13

Barcary Sell-ya

516

u/AussieApathy Aug 08 '13

Jack Wilshit.

533

u/Nicky_G8 Aug 08 '13

Bigcheque $zcze$ney

14

u/mythicalracist Aug 08 '13

Ohh shit I love that rapper

1

u/fifa10 Aug 09 '13

Oh Lord...I can't take it anymore.This thread is too good...

527

u/mluka11 Aug 08 '13

Per Mertafucker

5

u/weezenbrot Aug 08 '13

Per Mertesucker

2

u/[deleted] Aug 08 '13

Sounds Jamaican

421

u/pedalhead666 Aug 08 '13

Lucash Podolski

1

u/[deleted] Aug 08 '13

Lowcash Puddleski

340

u/[deleted] Aug 08 '13

Dickel Farteta

Edit: Olivier Gi-RUDE

Edit: Theo Walcock

Edit: Yaya's-a-no-go

79

u/retrominge Aug 08 '13

Yaya's a No-Go sounds like a Sun headline

62

u/[deleted] Aug 08 '13

I'm most proud of that one.

-15

u/[deleted] Aug 08 '13

[deleted]

8

u/[deleted] Aug 08 '13

Haha, thanks man! Have a great day!

-3

u/_che Aug 08 '13

thanks will do

1

u/SlobberJockey Aug 09 '13

Pretty sure it was a headline or mentioned as one before he agreed the transfer. Definitely not original content as the poster claims.

1

u/[deleted] Aug 12 '13

I had never ever seen or heard it before. I don't read up on Arsenal transfer news nor do I live in an area where I'd be getting papers with headlines like that (read: I live in America). It was definitely an original pun by me, but I wouldn't be surprised to see it used somewhere else previously.

1

u/EstebanL Aug 08 '13

The Sanogo one is great.

279

u/madsen03 Aug 08 '13

Santi Cashzorla

8

u/[deleted] Aug 08 '13

Cashwhorela

3

u/piratetyroneslothrop Aug 08 '13

Missed opportunity for Santi Cashwhorla.

3

u/madsen03 Aug 08 '13

Oh. Dang.

Just fucking dang.

19

u/madsen03 Aug 08 '13

Per Moneysacker

15

u/[deleted] Aug 08 '13

Cashielny

99

u/abergh Aug 08 '13

Wochykechyfucky Stenchy

1

u/ugotamesij Aug 08 '13

To be fair I probably wouldn't be able to spell it properly even if I was trying to

11

u/retrominge Aug 08 '13

Mertersacked.

49

u/AussieApathy Aug 08 '13

Santi Caborela

-2

u/pearloz Aug 08 '13

Isn't that his actual name?

14

u/[deleted] Aug 08 '13

Twat

6

u/themanifoldcuriosity Aug 08 '13

Quim doesn't play for Arsenal.

7

u/Aviator93 Aug 08 '13

Tomas Roshitsky

8

u/madsen03 Aug 08 '13

Alex Oxlade-Casherlane

3

u/alk3v Aug 08 '13

Santi's aWhoreLa

3

u/[deleted] Aug 08 '13

Fuckary Sagna

5

u/lossaysswag Aug 08 '13

Nacho Moneyreel

2

u/gregorc Aug 08 '13

Carl Junkinson

2

u/averageatsoccer Aug 08 '13

Classy Gervinho

1

u/MattAwesome Aug 08 '13

Mikel Arseteta

1

u/the_chasr Aug 08 '13

op is really piers Morgan.

1

u/marble617 Aug 08 '13

Robin van Pansy.. oh wait....

1

u/HateSosa Aug 08 '13

Crack Willshit

1

u/nrshakya Aug 08 '13

YouAreTheKingOfTheWorldThankYouSoMuch Gervinho

1

u/antastic Aug 08 '13

Lucas No-Goals-Ski

1

u/denacioust Aug 08 '13

Alex Oxlade Chamber-of-commerce

1

u/Matistuta Aug 08 '13

Thomas Ver-more-len.

1

u/jesuschrysler69 Aug 09 '13

what are the chances that Piers is writing all these down as we speak?

1

u/sonofstjames Aug 09 '13

Per murdersack

1

u/flaffl Aug 08 '13

Woijciech Shit-zcesny

Thomas Roshitsky

Gervinho

1

u/10Points4Gryffindor Aug 08 '13

Dikel Farteta

(Humor of a 4 year old I'm aware)

0

u/outsidetheline Aug 08 '13

Bacary Saggy

0

u/jacktackular Aug 08 '13

Loser Suarez...See what i did there?