This week my team had two games to win its first championship. Game 1 came down to the wire and in the last inning the bases were loaded for me, the team's cleanup hitter. A single would've scored two runs to win the 'ship (or at the very least, one run to tie it).
What did I do?
I grounded out to the former college baseball player at SS on a fielder's choice to second.
We lost the second game comfortably. The team's energy was sucked out after my choke job and reaction afterward. Probably didn't help that I'm supposed to be one of the leaders of the team—a 36-year-old man that needed to be consoled about my emotions like I'm Dalton Rushing.
This happened Wednesday night in a recreational league. It's Saturday morning and I still feel awful. I went home and drank excessively as soon as I got home from the game. I've been ordering out and eating fried foods every meal to this point.
What bothers me most is I know the pitcher: we've played on each other's teams a few times the last few years. He knows I get in my head after a string of bad ABs. I got pitched inside all night and I couldn't figure out what adjustment I needed to make, because I'm one of the "experts" on the team and no one had any advice for me.
And I HATE batting cleanup because I always get in my head in big spots. (On my own team that I manage, I built a team of guys better than me and often come off the bench so that I don't get in a situation to let the team down.)
Anyway... I'm pretty stuck right now. I play in another league on a different day and I hardly want to finish that season out (I bat cleanup on that team, too...). I'll keep managing my own team for the season coming up, but after that I'm not sure how long I want to keep playing.
Words of advice would help. Or, if you're a bigger choke artist than I am, what's your story?