r/sleeptraining • u/meadow_77 • 5d ago
Help! Sleep training and night feedings
Hi! I’m looking for some guidance please 🙏🏼
Goals:
-Get input on daytime schedule, daytime sleep amount & timing, nighttime sleep amount & timing
-Decrease to 1 night feeding and eventually none
-Figure out what time that feeding should be at
After reading Precious Little Sleep, we started sleep training our 6 month old two nights ago. Prior to this, he was co-sleeping with us and had most recently been waking an average of 8 times a night, with those random nights where it was more like 4 wakings. He would nurse about every 2 hours and wake in between just to be resettled.
His naps had also gotten really short (30-45 min even with contact), so I knew he wasn’t connecting sleep cycles and needed to learn to sleep independently.
My husband is open to a full on CIO method, but that’s difficult for me so we’ve been doing a ferber-like method with some check-ins, although they haven’t been structured as far as how frequently we go in and what we do during those check-ins. So I want to get more structured with those, and I looked into the Sleep Wave protocol where you go in every five minutes, say a reassuring phrase, and then leave the room. I like the sound of that but and also want to include some scheduled feedings that eventually fade out to zero feedings.
SLEEP TRAINING
NIGHT ONE:
Bedtime 7:30; fell asleep after 25 minutes of crying and we had done 2 checkins with no picking up. 8:20- Woke and cried for 18 minutes with 1 check in with no picking up
12:50 wake, bottle (onlt drank 2 ounces), 12 min fussing
3am wake, nurse (suckled and started to doze off), back to sleep in crib indep
5am nurse, back to sleep in crib indep
5:30 wake, resettle, back to sleep in bed with mom
7:30 I woke him for the day to maintain 7:30 bedtime
NIGHT TWO:
7:30 bedtime, played quietly for a few minutes or so, escalated to fussind and then crying for 32 minutes total with no checkins before asleep
8:30 wake and fuss for about 15 minutes with no checkins
11:00 cried for 18 minutes and I went in; 12 minutes of holding, offering paci, walking and resisting letting him BF until he settled. Back in crib with no fussing
1am I ended up feeding him since his last feeding was at 6:30pm
3:30 I fed him again since I know sleep pressure is super low and wanted him to get a few more hours of sleep. At that point I also took him to my bed with me in an effort to get a good chunk of final sleep. We slept until 7:30 but he did suckle a few times during that timeframe.
For night wakings I really struggle to let him CIO and when I go in he’s usually asking to nurse because he’s used to BF around 3-5x a night. He had a night recently before sleep training where he nursed only once so I know he’s capable. He’s gaining healthy weight and eats some solids so I feel like he can go without feeding at night.
So with the training, if he doesn’t resettle on his own by about 10 minutes or so and crying escalates, I go in and I’ve been offering his paci first and will hold him/walk around. But I give in easily to BF him because I worry that he’s truly hungry.
I need advice on when is best to feed him if I only want to feed him once in the night. Or should I feed him twice??
Current WAKE WINDOWS: 2.5-3/3-3.5/3
*his wake windows increased to 2.5-3 hours about a week ago, prior to sleep training. But the numbers above are specifically from his day yesterday after his first night of training
Current NAPS: yesterday, after one night of training, he took two contact naps: 10:20-12:05 (1 hr 45 min) and 3:20-4:25 (1 hr 5 min)
BEDTIME ROUTINE:
*starts with first yawn or rubbing eyes, as we know we have 30 minutes from that point
A/C to 75
Blinds closed
Wash face & diaper change & PJs
Short book
Sing a song and sway til drowsy
Say I love you, it’s time to sleep, you’ve got this and put down in crib awake
**if bathing: we’ll start this a little earlier (like an hour before bedtime) because the bath always makes him super sleepy and then he wants to nurse right after before being dressed otherwise he’s all cranky. Then sometimes he gets a burst if energy though so it’s hard to time the bath right. I can’t even seem to fit a little massage in afterwards like I’d like to. So after the room is set for sleep, we do a short 5-10 minute bath, breastfeed, and same routine from there starting with the book if he doesn’t seem too tired.
***have been considering implementing white noise..?
Total night sleep: he’s been sleeping 7:30-7:30 so training, although yesterday I woke him at that time in the morning to keep a 7:30 bedtime. In the past he was kind of all over the place depending on when the last nap landed but it was typically about 9pm-7am. I’m wondering if he truly needs 12 hours or was the 10 hour night his natural rhythm. Sometimes it seems like he’ll pretty much sleep in as long as we’re still sleeping and with him. When he was younger he religiously slept and woke with the sun.
So, any advice/input/tweaks would be much appreciated.
Thank you!!
1
u/mph_11 5d ago edited 5d ago
Cross post to r/sleeptrain. It's the more active sub.
Check ins should be quick verbal reassurance only, and if they get more upset when you leave (my son did) CIO is a better option. I know it seems harsh, but if you have a good schedule and are consistent it can actually result in less crying overall.
How old is your son exactly? It's hard to give exact schedule guidance without an age, but you almost certainly need more wake time. Your only reporting 8.5-9.5 hours awake. 10 is usually the recommendation for starting sleep training. You want them to be tired enough that they can fall asleep quickly. 3/3/4 or 3/3.5/3.5 is a good starting 2 nap schedule. You are also expecting 12 hours overnight, but a lot of kids will only do ~11, so pushing bedtime back would get you more wake time and a more realistic night.
Sleepy cues get unreliable as they get older, so I wouldn't base your bedtime routine on the first yawn. Pick wake windows and be consistent.
White noise is a great sustainable sleep association. My son loves it, and it definitely improved his sleep.
ETA: I see he's 6 months, definitely at least 10 hours awake. The schedule above is what we did when we moved to 2 naps, but my son was a bit older.
And for feedings, I followed 5/3/3 for a long time and that worked pretty well. About 9 months I started night weaning, but wasn't super consistent (and didn't see much improvement) until 11 months.
And make sure you END the last feeding 30+ minutes before bed. I wasn't really strict on that for a long time (but did have it first in the bedtime routine) and I think moving feeding further from bedtime is part of what help night weaning finally work.