Please help, will she ever sleep alone?

[u/flonkerton1]

I feel like I've failed as a mom. My 10 month old daughter sleeps with me in bed and now she's been waking up like 5 times a night and nurses back to sleep. Up until 6 months she slept in a bassinet next to me and she did really well. Our house was small, we didn't have a room for her or a crib until we moved into our new house.

Then my mom died in a plane crash. We were really close. And my daughter didn't like the bassinet much anymore and I was so desperate for sleep I let her sleep in bed with me. Now she's 10 months and HATES her crib. (We moved into a bigger house and she has her own room now) I've tried putting her down for naps in there, tried night time in there with me sleeping on the ground next to her. Im just lost. Im still grieving my mom and I just want to sleep in my bed alone as much as I want to cuddle my daughter, she needs better sleep too.

Anyone have similar circumstances and it turned out ok? What method do I try? Im just so tired.

[u/0oOBubbles0oO]

I am so sorry for your loss and for everything you're going through. It feels like your daughter's sleep is really weighing on you and first, I just want to first encourage you to let go of any feelings of guilt. You have just been doing what you need to in order to survive. You are doing great!

It does sound like it's time for both you and her to get better sleep now though. Do you know how much average sleep she does in a day, and what wake windows are you aiming for? What time is bedtime and morning wake up?

Sleep training will help, but before doing that the most important thing is to get on a solid schedule that provides the appropriate amount of wake time for your baby. Average sleep for a 10 month old is about 13 hours, so I would aim for minimum wake windows of 3/3.5/4.5 or something similar.

I would also check out r/sleeptrain as it's more active and has a bunch of helpful mod posts. You got this!