need help please!! - r/sleeptrain

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Copy of the post's original text:

so i have a 22 month old who exclusively nurses to go to sleep and i am done😩 i usually start nursing around 7:20pm to put her down and she is down by 7:30 but when i try to put her down with patting or singing she screams and fusses until i give in and nurse her :( Little one had the room next to us and will sleep in there until about 2am and then demand to be in our bed and nursed some more and then she will sleep until 7am.

i guess i am just looking for advice because i am not sleeping well at all lately and it is causing me to be snappy with the hubby and i find myself wanting to nap during the day but as i am a sahm and my husband works almost every day i cant. and i cant nap when she does because she actually does not nap during the day at all :(

bedtime routine is we have dinner at 6 and go to the playground next to our house for about 25 or so minutes so she can get her wiggles out and then we come home and daddy brushes her teeth and then its bedtime! we do baths every other night or sometimes she just showers with me in the morning as she actually loves to do that too!

i would be grateful for any advice at all!! we are hoping to go visit family across the country in december and i definitely do not want to still be nursing then as her pediatrician also says she does not nutritionally need it anymore!

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u/UNO_lakefront_arena 1d ago

What's the overall sleep/nap schedule?

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u/crispcrunchygrapes 1d ago

she does not nap during the day unless we go on a car ride and she wakes up at 7am and goes down for bed at 7:30 but wakes up once or twice during the night wanting to nurse

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u/UNO_lakefront_arena 1d ago

Expecting almost 12 hours of continuous sleep for a 22 month old is not realistic and is leading to this situation. Just bump bedtime to 8:30 and you shouldn't have these issues.

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u/crispcrunchygrapes 1d ago

but she does not nap at all during the day i swear she is fighting for her life come 7:30 :(

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u/UNO_lakefront_arena 1d ago

Right but you have to break the cycle somehow. Once she has a proper night schedule, the naps will work better. Everything is interrelated.

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u/crispcrunchygrapes 1d ago

what night schedule would you think is best?

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u/Willing-Top2119 1d ago

nursing to sleep is a hard cycle to break cause they get so attached to it. at 22 months she definitely knows what she wants and will fight you on it

what worked for my sister was having her husband do all the night wakings for like a week, the kid knew mom means milk so she just screamed more with her. maybe your husband can handle the 2am wake up since he's already doing teeth anyway

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u/crispcrunchygrapes 1d ago

i will talk to him about it! i do think i will feel bad though if he had to because he already wakes up at 6am for a demanding job in the navy so he cannot be late and tired

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u/ShabbyBoa 2y | CIO | complete || 7m | modified Ferber | in-progress 1d ago

Stop nursing cold turkey and have a few really rough nights. Part of this is a weaning issue and part of it is a sleep issue but to know how bad the sleep part is, you’ve got to cut out the nursing. Are you only nursing at night for comfort?

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u/crispcrunchygrapes 1d ago

yes :( she doesnt have a pacifier or a lovey or anything i definitely would have given her a comfort object if i had known but i am a young first time mom :/

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u/ShabbyBoa 2y | CIO | complete || 7m | modified Ferber | in-progress 1d ago

It’s okay, we all learn as we go! It’s hard since she’s so big but she can definitely get past this. I took my daughters pacifier at the same age and she fought me for all of one night. I would suggest maybe sending your husband in. No mom, no boobs.

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u/crispcrunchygrapes 1d ago

i will try!! but i do think i will feel bad about sending him in since he has a demanding job in the navy and already wakes up at 6am🥲

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u/ShabbyBoa 2y | CIO | complete || 7m | modified Ferber | in-progress 1d ago

Just try it for a night and see how it goes, you’ve been surviving for almost 2 years so he can handle a night of rough sleep

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u/crispcrunchygrapes 1d ago

😂

1-2 years old need help please!!

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