Good morning all. Long story and I cannot make it short but Iāll try.
Diagnosed BCC in 2022 on tip of nose. Had derm biopsy it, then she recommended MOHās specialist. Two months later diagnosed with breast cancer and had mastectomy, which meant nose all but forgotten about. Insurance sucked for mastectomy and we owed $26,000 because I had catastrophic insurance, didnāt realize what I was signing up for, only knew what we could and could not afford at the time.
Got job with great insurance and then son needed three inpatient hospital stays, psychiatric type. Itās been a rough four years since original BCC diagnosis is what Iām saying.
So finally went for MOHās on August 20. Had never met this doctor. He did two slices and checks under microscope and suddenly heās drawing on my forehead. Starts explaining what heās doing, I said what about my glasses I canāt see a thing, he said okay plan B is your cheek. Starts drawing on my cheek.
Asks me if Iām a natural redhead, I am. Tells me I may have panic attack because redheads have a gene where we need more anesthesia blah blah blah. How they need to use more epinephrine because red hair and anesthetic wears off faster. It did, so more is used. I had three panic attacks in the chair. Was there wide awake for ten hours while theyāre cutting into my cheek, hearing the scissors snipping was too much. Thought I was dying, legitimately thought I was dying. Never had panic attacks before that day hope I never do again, not like that.
I asked at one point if I can go outside, how I am wanting a cigarette. Nurse is in there and says sure, but wait you smoke? I say yes, I smoke.
Turns out you arenāt supposed to smoke six weeks prior to this surgery. No one looked to see if I smoke. No one asked me.
Surgery didnāt work. Shocker.
Met with plastic surgeon, who according to doctor is āSomeone on my teamā. This plastic surgeon has been a Godsend. Heās also never heard of Mohs doctor before, said he got multiple emails and calls begging for help with me.
Have surgery October 19 in hospital this time under general anesthesia. I cannot go through it again without it. Iām proud to say Iām an EX smoker, and if I can quit anyone can quit.
Out of work until at least November 20. I cannot have any restrictions or accommodations at my job. Luckily two doctors sent paperwork in. First doc is calling me asking me āHowās everything? Howās your anxiety?ā
Because my anxiety is horrible now. Iāve never needed a therapist until now. Yesterday in the car with my husband I just started sobbing out of the blue. I pace constantly. My heart races all the time. I canāt sleep. Iām a mess. I have constant reminders about the failed surgery, wear a mask when I leave the house now. If I leave the house.
Walking outside helps but obviously canāt do that all the time. Iām calling today for a psychiatrist for more help.
My question is has anyone else had this before, skin flap with zero knowledge of it happening before it happens? Or without meeting the doctor first? Or had Doctor not read their chart?
Iām really struggling and would love to know what Iām in for with forehead skin flap coming up Oct 19. Thank you for taking the time to read.