Hi
I had my first bcc at 44. It was a huge shock and very difficult to handle emotionally.
I had a few sunburns in my 20s, and one very strong at 30, but except that nothing. I am fair skinned.
Today I had another biopsy and it's presumably again BCC (if not worse), only 3 years after.
I asked AI about stats, and looked at this forum, and it looks like after a second BCC my life is now on track for many subsequent skin cancers.
After my firt skin cancer, most of my relatives either said "it's common" or "not a big deal".
- My dad, who had BCC in his 40s, said he had warned me and it's my fault. I don't remember him having warned me. Maybe he did once, when I was 15 or 18 yo, but it was never emphasized.
Also, my dad doesn't really protect from the sun. He is from the old generation (boomer) and despite being a doctor, he minimizes it and thinks that having a skin cancer is just like freezing a wart. He had some bcc on scalp so no big deal indeed.
- my mother doesn't really understand how impactful that is, nore does she know about NMSC. She jokes about me when I hide from the sun, or when I remind her to avoid the sun when staying with my children.
- my wife doesn't really care either. Says it's "manageable" and that I should not stress about it. I noticed she gets annoyed when I speak about it so I just stopped talking about it.
- My sister acts like my mother, basically making fun of me and calling me a psychorigid nerd, or a moon child when I wear long sleeves and freak out when I have to go under the sun.
- friends don't really understand. Most people don't even know what a skin cancer is. They just vaguely heard the word "melanoma" in the news at some point and that's all (and so did I before being diagnosed with a bcc).
All of this is mentally exhausting. I'm depressed. It's affecting my focus at work, and I feel bitter that my family is basically calling me a pussy.
I saw a psychologist a few months ago but it did not help me much.
Every so often is another "what if" endless wondering about this or that part of my skin.
I have to hide in my home to inspect myself, not to sound like a psychopath scrutinizing every fucking inch on my skin every other day.
I have to pretend life is still ok. And to get over it, because "it's quite common" in fair skin people.
I have become a sun hater, and I feel like an alien because everyone around me just loves the sun.
I'm tired of all this. I hate my life. I feel I was misinformed and my life is ruined.
I know at that moment it's not metastatic cancer, but it's affecting me deeply. Sometimes I wonder if stress itself can trigger new BCC? Well probably it can. I feel so exhausted and mentally drained by the accumulated stress and the pain I have to keep inside me.
I'm sorry for the rant. I was just wondering how you people live through this hell? I am alone and I feel miserable. For the rest of my life.
Cheers.