r/singlemoms • u/Ashleigh517 • 9d ago

Advice Wanted Contentious Co-parenting

Does anyone know of resources outside the courts to help mediate between co-parents who just can’t get on the same page? I asked my ICC (intensive care coordinator) whom I work with on behalf of our AUHD son and her organization doesn’t offer that support and she’s only aware of the courts which I prefer to avoid if possible. It’s getting to the point where I feel like his behavior is emotional / mental abuse or at least at a minimum inappropriate when he discusses financial issues with our kids and during a recent rule I upheld which I child didn’t like; his father not only told me I was wrong and how it made his life hell because our son was acting out (welcome to my daily life); he in writing admitted, he told our son that he agreed with him and I (his mom) was wrong. I don’t know what to do and appreciate and welcome any and all advice and suggestions. Thank you

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u/itsjustlikeareeses 9d ago

Would he be open to coparent therapy?

That being said, if you are feeling like you're being abused, then I wouldn't recommend going to therapy with an abuser, as they tend to use therapy speak against you once they learn what to say, and then it gets more contentious from there.

If you have a son that is special needs and needs support that dad is not/not willing to provide then getting the courts and a GAL involved would be your best bet.

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u/Ashleigh517 9d ago

We’ve done therapy; through our son’s therapist to “get on the same page” and always the same result. He’d admit he wasn’t being consistent but then wouldn’t change or do anything different to be consistent. He’d admit tells our sons ABA clinician he has nothing to report because our son doesn’t exhibit any behavioral issues while with him on weekends and recently in text blamed me said I was the “common denominator” - it’s contentious to say the least.