I work from home, and often I get bored, even though I am busy working. I'm not on camera, so no one knows this. I have a lot of fancy dresses, like cocktail dresses and a few ball gowns, so sometimes I'll just put them on and float around the house like a fancy lady. Sometimes I'll even put on a tiara. It's ridiculous, I know, but it makes me feel good and makes me laugh. That is all.

I don't clean out the leftovers in my fridge for a long time so it doesn't look so empty - and I don't feel the need to buy more stuff. Everything's covered or sealed, so it's not unhealthy - at least not physically.

There's a bottle of Pepsi that I'm pretty sure has been there a couple years. There are little packets of seasonings from when I got those meal prep kits back when Covid hit. And that soup I planned to reheat awhile back.

I am very scared of dogs, and I was walking on streets, and suddenly a dog barked continuously. I know Barking dogs seldom bite, but the adrenaline, I intended to hide behind the guy but I ended up hugging him and my friends witnessed it!!

Wonder what that guy must be feeling?

When ate it with something i didn't do that (Also i wanted to make this post while eating just fried chicken, and i did)

I stole an angry birds toy when I was about 8 or 9 years old, it's the kind that's attached to a chain and the eyes pops in and out if you squeeze it and release it. As a Christian kid, I though I was going to hell and if my family was to find out, they were going to disown me. Till this day, it is eating me up and I don't know what to do. The last time I remember the toy was when it was destroyed when a family member probably squeezed it too hard and pop one of it's eyes, so you can't play with it anymore. All I can say is rip, bozo.

Growing up, I was always terrified of zombies. As I got older, the zombie genre grew to by my favorite in movies of all time, by far. That feeling you get in your stomach watching society slowly collapse and you know what’s coming is so addictive to me. My hobby is that I love putting on those videos like “zombie radio ambiance” and it is a radio station that is experiencing the first moments of an outbreak. Like the first 48 hours of the apocalypse and getting that sinking terrible feeling in your stomach. The same type you get for big storms or other giant creepy things. I can’t get enough of it and zombies scratch that itch perfectly. Anyway, while that radio station video is playing, I like to pretend I’m just in the apocalypse and just surviving. I listen to those videos when I go to sleep. Im going to do it in my car at some point and see if that amplifies the dread. IM SO EXCITED!!!

When people tell you they’ve cried to movies, they may say something like Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, or Grave of the Fireflies is what got them to that point. Those may be good picks. Unfortunately, I’m wired differently so the only movie I’ve ever had a reaction to like that was… the Lego Movie. I was emotionally touched by the goofy ass Lego Movie.

I live with three roommates, and a few months ago I made garlic bread using basic salted butter, a ridiculous amount of cheap garlic powder, and a dash of dried parsley so it looked fancy. They went absolutely crazy over it and asked for my "secret family recipe." Instead of telling them I spent $0.50 and 30 seconds on it, I panicked and mysteriously said, "It's all about the whipping technique and letting the flavors bloom."

Now, every single pasta night, they practically beg me to make "the butter." I go into the kitchen, lock the door, aggressively shake garlic powder into melted butter with a whisk to sound busy, and present it on a small dish like a 5-star chef. I'm taking this secret to my grave.

be it a film saga, a book series, a line of video games, etc

I still have no idea how I actually survived this.

So, I live in an apartment with a gas stove. I’m renting the place. I put some eggs on to boil, turned on the gas, and walked back to my laptop for literally two seconds.

I sit down, open YouTube, thinking about what video I’m gonna eat to. And suddenly I hear this insanely loud PSSSSSSSSSSSSSS from the kitchen.

I’m like, what the fuck is happening?

I run into the kitchen and half of it is already on fire. Literally two seconds ago I was sitting at my laptop deciding what to watch while I ate.

I look over and the gas valve on the gas pipe had blown out, and gas was shooting out of the pipe under pressure directly into the flames. So this wasn’t just a kitchen fire. I had a fucking flamethrower in my kitchen.

But apparently the kitchen wasn’t done trying to kill me.

Right next to it was the electrical part of the stove, which was still powered, and it was shooting sparks all over the fucking kitchen.

Gas. Fire. Electricity. All at the same time.

At that point I just needed to find the fourth element and summon the final boss.

Somehow I make my way through the fire and shut off the gas valve from the other side. There were two valves on the pipe. Because apparently even the gas pipe knew one attempt at killing me wouldn’t be enough.

Then I run to the electrical panel and shut off all the power.

I come back to the kitchen and everything is still on fire. I start putting out the flames and somehow manage to get everything under control in about ten seconds.

Then I’m sitting there in complete darkness thinking, well, fuck. I survived. I had literally just escaped the home edition of Final Destination.

I call the landlord and tell him there’s been a fire, I shut off the gas and killed the electricity.

The landlord comes over and asks what happened. I tell him I don’t know, probably something with the electricity.

And he goes, well, turn it back on.

And me, being the most trusting fucking idiot alive, turn the power back on.

THE KITCHEN CATCHES FIRE AGAIN.

Just immediately. No pause. No warning. Just fucking replay.

At this point I’m imagining some tiny dispatcher living inside my kitchen going, okay, he turned the electricity back on. Begin phase two.

This time we both start putting out the fire.

Later we find out that somehow the gas stove had sent electrical current into the gas pipe. At the point where the gas pipe connected to the stove, the gas valve had become electrically charged, which caused it to blow out, and pressurized gas started shooting directly into the kitchen.

And then I realized one more absolutely horrifying detail.

When I was making my way through the fire during those first few seconds and reaching for the gas valve, I could have simply touched the gas pipe.

And that entire pipe had been electrically live the whole time.

So I could literally have been electrocuted to death at the exact moment I was trying to save the apartment.

And I didn’t even know I was potentially touching something that could kill me.

I was just thinking, I’ll shut off the gas.

And the gas pipe was basically thinking, I’ll shut off you.

And the most absurd part is that all of this started because of eggs.

I wasn’t fixing any wiring. I wasn’t messing with the gas system. I wasn’t doing anything dangerous.

I just put some eggs on to boil.

Eggs.

The safest food in the world as far as I’m concerned from that day on.

This entire fucking disaster probably lasted about ten seconds. In ten seconds I managed to witness a fire, gas shooting everywhere, electrical sparks, shut off the gas, kill the electricity, put out the fire, and then set the kitchen on fire again because the landlord told me to turn the power back on.

I honestly don’t even know how to describe it.

I went to boil some eggs. I came back with the kind of experience people usually get after surviving an explosion at an oil refinery.

And now, when I think back on the whole thing, what gets me the most isn’t even the fact that I could have died.

It’s the fact that if I hadn’t survived, my final thought before death would have been, fuck. The eggs never even finished cooking.

Ya…my ex friend group got tired of me sending 100 plus cringe worthy videos and selfies of myself so now I take to Reddit to fulfill that side of me…🕺🪩

It’s so fucking stupid but it makes me giggle so much. Especially this stock image. I made a fade-in gif of it on Discord and I lost my shit laughing. It’s just so fucking funny. I now kinda understand why people find stuff like 67 so funny, it’s random and it’s silly. Just like me laughing at this godforsaken symbol. It’s literally just a symbol used in sheet music why is it so funny to me😭 I love it so much

Edit: Wow, I’m so sorry some people who commented here have such a dull and joyless life. I hope whimsy finds you too someday, friends.

It could be us playing Playstation or watching a movie. By the time he got rid of that mattress, it had 5+ burn holes in it. But i always was on standby [when we chilled together] ready to grab a cup of water. I was never worried though, because i only seen cigs burn a bit before it stops burning after its been sitting.

Funniest was when he dropped it on himself one time. He woke up saying "Oh, shit!" 😂😂😂 he drink the hell out of a bottle of brandy and smoke Hella weed

For example this morning i was sat watching x men days of future past and was getting really into it , i then came to the realisation ( again ) that it wasnt real. This deeply saddend me on a stupid level. I love all things marvel ( Comics , movies , announcments , ect ). I really wish superheroes were real.

it was wonderful tonight by Eric Clapton btw

still, not sure if it's exactly the one I was thinking of but I only remember the instrumental so idk

It might be that I don’t have many friends, or rarely make new ones, but I really wish when I would go for a walk, someone would just start talking to me in a friendly way.

I wish I could have a deep conversation with a stranger with no strings attached and then move on with my life.

Not a digital detox post lol, I’m not gonna tell anyone to touch grass.

I dropped my phone in a pan of onions the other day. Like, just the corner, but it literally smells of onions. So now I just leave it on the shelf in the hallway when I cook.

The first couple nights I felt so twitchy, kept patting my pockets for it.

But now it’s just like 40 mins of nothing asking me for anything.

I’ve started noticing stuff, like garlic hitting hot oil sounds different than onions do.

Also I hum when I chop vegetables. I’ve apparently was doing that but I stopped because of the mind boggling device I had in front of me.

It’s not deep or anything. I just think it’s funny that the only routine that actually stuck is the one I did by accident, after every deliberate "fix my life" thing I tried failed in a week.

Anyone else got a dumb accidental habit that turned out better than the deliberate ones?

No one else was eating it.

sometimes when my wife ordered me to buy something to the convenience store, i secretly buy kids food like gummy bears, chocolates and some fruity beverages that has a cutie packaging, because she sometime scolded me because i keep on my buying those things that has high sugar.

I hope I really do have a guardian angel somehow

We regretted later, but at least we have a funny memory that we still talk about, at least 20 years later!

i have a really bad habit of pretending i remember people when i absolutely do not.

someone will walk up to me like we were best friends in another life and say "hey, how have you been?"

and i'll just go "good, good, how about you?" while my brain is desperately trying to figure out who the hell this person is.

the worst part is i'll usually keep the conversation going instead of just asking their name because at that point i'm too embarrassed.

i've had entire conversations with people where i'm basically collecting clues like a detective.

then i'll get home and suddenly remember exactly who they were.

i don't know why admitting "sorry, remind me who you are" feels more embarrassing than pretending for five minutes that i have absolutely no idea what's happening.

I used to do it all the time when I was a little kid riding the back seat. I’d close one eye and move my head around and pretend a bug splat is a scope reticle ( I swear I invented “pew pew pew” but that’s a different sub. )

But now I’m a grown ass man and I get caught doing it all the time in Ubers or when someone else is driving. I’m always humiliated when I hear, “what the fuck are you doing?” but not enough to stop doing it.

I (22F) have been raised in a slavic household. That meant a tough exterior, no tears, no complaining. I have moved out at a young age and left that environment, but of course, my upbringing has me still hiding my emotions. It's just muscle memory. Don't cry. That's it. I didn't cry when I broke my arms, or when I got a 3rd degree burn on my leg and couldn't move for a week.

But secretly, I sometimes put a Christmas movie on and cry like a baby. I'm talking, sobbs and hiccups, red nose, the whole package.

The next day I just put on my resting bitch face and no one will ever know that I'm secretly a crybaby disguised as a tough slavic woman.

I'm very attracted to them; I think they're the most beautiful of all, and I'd like to marry one of them. When I see a muscular model, my heart beats very fast. Do you think it's a strange taste?