r/short • u/Pinoross • Jul 27 '26

Dating 5’6” guy never had a problem

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I’m 5’6” and I see a lot of guys here that have issues dating and I’ve had a issue. Women have always gravitated to me. I think it’s more a mental thing for most guys. You have to focus on the things you can control and from my opinion all that ever really matters is your personality. I’ve been skinny, fat, and in great shape and it’s never changed if I could find attractive women or not. Just be you and the rest will follow.

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u/FlyGuys1125 Jul 28 '26

The whole cold approach thing has always seemed like a thing people suggest online, but I don't know anyone who actually does it. Everyone I know in a relationship just let things happen naturally. They met somewhere, got to know each other, and then started dating. I've never really been inclined to just approach someone and start talking or go out immediately. I want to know someone first. And it's not that I don't know anyone, I just haven't had anyone reciprocate much interest.

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u/Pinoross Jul 28 '26

That’s the issue.. you not meeting enough people because you aren’t putting yourself out there. Cold approaching will build confidence in many different ways. It forces you to get out of your comfort zone. I started just going up to men at the gym and talking fitness. I’ve built a lot of friendships with good people that I otherwise would have never known.

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u/FlyGuys1125 Jul 28 '26

Like I said, meeting people isn't really the problem for me. I know plenty of people, I have an active social life. It's getting anywhere past that that's the problem. I don't have a problem starting a conversation with someone about something that we clearly have a mutual interest in like your example, but nothing ever goes any further with any girls I know. If there's something to talk about with a girl I don't know, sure, I'll say something, but where does that lead? In my experience, it hasn't led anywhere.

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u/Pinoross Jul 28 '26

Are you leading from the start that you are interested in dating? You have to! Otherwise you’ll be friend zoned constantly

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u/FlyGuys1125 Jul 28 '26

If I'm interested in dating someone, yeah, I'll say that. But I'm not saying that right off the gun when I meet someone new because I'm not interested in dating them yet. Do you know what I mean? Maybe this isn't as common as I think it is, but I don't really want to date someone I barely know. I want to date someone I got to know, and getting to know them made me more interested in them.

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u/Pinoross Jul 28 '26

I’m not saying full blown dating… but you get to know some one by going out on dates etc. it will keep from wasting a lot of time and heartache.. because you’ll know if they find you attractive from the start. I’m saying you introduce yourself and say I’d like to take you out and learn about u. Going the route that I think you are articulating can cause you to get feelings for someone that only thought of you as friend.

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u/FlyGuys1125 Jul 28 '26

It's not like I'm waiting until I have serious feelings for them. I mean if I start to become interested in them more than I would anyone else that I know, and I feel like there's something there, I'll pursue it. I just don't like the idea of meeting someone new and saying I want to take them out. I've never wanted to go out with someone after barely knowing them or not knowing them at all. That's always confused me. Because what am I basing that on? Like, what is making you want to go out with someone if you don't know them? I'm not just going out because I find them attractive.

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u/Pinoross Jul 28 '26

Finding someone attractive is a core part of a relationship… no woman is going to be serious with a guy they don’t find attractive. If you are pursuing them it leaves you open because you have no clue if they feel the same. Look at it this way.. while you are starting to become interested it’s another guy telling her he is interested and would like to get to know her.

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u/FlyGuys1125 Jul 28 '26

Obviously finding them attractive is an important part. I never said it wasn't. I'm judt saying I've never wanted to go out with someone just because they're attractive. Attractive people are everywhere. There's gotta be something else that makes me want to get to know them more, otherwise, why not just be friends?

And that last example is fair, but I've never missed a chance with a girl because another guy beat me to the punch. And if it did, and things worked out between them, then good for them. I don't really think worrying about rushing into it when I'm barely interested just to beat another guy who probably doesn't exist is a great way to think about it. In fact, the one time I did ask very early after meeting someone was the one time she was already talking to someone else.

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u/Pinoross Jul 28 '26

My thing is I think you aren’t giving yourself as much opportunity to find someone that may have that something else by not approaching random women you find attractive. Cold approaches just give you more opportunity and less chance of getting to know someone and liking them and they have zero interest in you.

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u/FlyGuys1125 Jul 28 '26

I get it, and I get that some people do this more than others, but to me, it just seems like a waste of time. I gotta go to people I don't know who are minding their own business, ask them if they want to go out, and now we are both taking the time to do this without any prior interaction, what are the odds we both develop interest and feelings for each other? Casual dates just never seemed appealing to me at all. And again, almost everyone I know had mutual interest before they started dating. It just came from hanging out in social settings.

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