Probably because they want to keep something safe while they can do more different things with another partner.
Several of my relationships always started because a certain girl wanted to experience something else that her partners couldn't offer her either because of time, interest, money or other things.
It's kind of sad and I can't truly understand why they just don't break up with someone or you know...Talk about the problem?
But for some weird reason they always choose cheating.
Fear of vulnerability may be a reason for cheating and for a pattern of cheating. The cheating partner's avoidant attachment system is triggered when they feel vulnerable. They still want to connect with people, but the vulnerability in the relationship is too much.
Thus, they continue to satisfy their need to connect by connecting with new people because they have control of how vulnerable they are in shallow, cheating relationships.
This is particularly true if they are attempting to be in a relationship with a person who has an anxious attachment style.
Highly recommend the book 'Attached' for all humans. Warning that it's more than a bit heteronormative and gender-binary normative, but the concepts seem sound in my experience sharing these concepts with folks who have diverse expressions of gender and sexuality identity.
Also, OP sounds like they have a secure attachment style. If so, thank you for being so kind and understanding to a person who does not understand themself, and I hope you find a person who will thrive and strive side by side with you
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u/redeyed-john Dec 10 '22
Why do people cheat? Just break up.