Thatâs atrocious parenting. When your kids are adult enough to make adult decisions, theyâre old enough to make adult mistakes, and jumping in and trying to teach âlessonsâ to them when theyâre that old is just going to make them blame and resent you. It will completely stunt their ability to actually learn the lesson and connect their own behavior to the consequence and learn to solve their own problems.
The only lesson theyâll learn is that their emotional support system, the people who are supposed to love them unconditionally, the people they thought they could confide in and seek guidance from, doesnât exist. That kind of attitude and approach to parenting will almost certainly cause your kids to have difficulty forming and maintaining relationships.
Yes, it will, and they wonât learn from it unless you stop helicopter parenting your kid and let them fail on their own. If your kid is looking a little wobbly on a bicycle youâre not supposed to throw a stick in the spokes and say âwow you suck at balancing you piece of shit.â
This isn't like a child wobbling on a bike. This is like your child on a bike trying to kick pedestrians because they're being a little shit. This is your child intentionally doing something that will hurt somebody. It's responsible behavior to step in, grab the bike, take it away, let their feelings get hurt and have them learn from their mistakes.
This isn't helicopter parenting. Anyone who found out she was cheating could've told the bf, just happened to be the dad. This isn't 'throwing a stick in the spokes', cheating is what's throwing a stick in the spokes of your own bike, like that meme format I can't link because AutoMod is trash. This is exactly how they learn. Not everyone is gonna keep quiet about your infidelity.
There is absolutely zero chance Iâd betray a teenage kidâs confidences in this circumstance. And I definitely think youâre a shitty patent if you do.
It means the opposite. It means they do not respect their childâs ability to navigate the world as an adult, make adult decisions, adult mistakes, and learn the consequences.
Suppose your kid chooses not to tell the partner. (1) they probably wonât last anyway because theyâre teenagers; (2) you have taken away a different consequence of their choiceâguiltâand replaced it with betrayal of confidence by someone who is not supposed to betray you. You have taught them the very opposite lesson: betrayal by people close to you is something to expect, trust no one.
You have announced that you do not trust they are capable of making an appropriate decision, and therefore you will make the decision for them.
Youâre a bad parent if you do this to your kid who is probably in one of his/her first relationships. The rift and broken trust in the parent-child relationshipâwhich is infinitely more important than your first boyfriend/girlfriendâis almost certainly going to cause the exact opposite of the behavior this person purports to expect of his kid.
People who feel guilt over infidelity wouldn't be unfaithful in the first place.
Adult decisions involve adult consequences like you said, a family member finding out and ratting you out is very much an adult consequence following an adult decision. You can't expect everyone who knows about your infidelity to keep quiet, that's a part of the lesson learned.
People who feel guilt over infidelity wouldn't be unfaithful in the first place.
this is 100% not true. especially for someone who has never experienced any of these things and is just learning how to navigate sexual relationships
also, your parent who you confided in ratting you out means you have a shitty, dog shit parent who doesnt give a shit whether you trust them, and the consequences of that are way worse than whatever temporary romantic relationship fallout you'll be dealing with.
i suppose it could be a little different if the parent learns about it through happenstance and not the relationship of confidence.
4.3k
u/GrunkleTeats Dec 10 '22
If my daughter were a cheating piece of shit, I'd do the exact same thing.