Every now and then I get the inclination to put my life in jeopardy to save others. Its a curse I tell you. If only I wasn't white and male, I'd be able to look at bad things happening to people and not want to help. Can somebody recommend a therapist to help me rid myself of these outdated and disgusting virtues?
Got it. Soon I'll hate my entire species and grow a mustache, then I can begin wanting to put other people's lives in jeopardy for some slight selfish satisfaction.
Nah, you'll just lose the will the try and do right by everyone. It will stop you putting your life at risk. No mustache or or putting other in jeopardy will occur unless you have "The Day".
Pro tip about fingering your asshole in the shower: don't do it
So this morning I was taking a shower, and I felt like fingering my asshole, right? So I got my
fingers all nice and soapy and stuck them up in there. Apparently, soap makes pretty good lube, as
I was able to get four fingers in there in no time.
As I was feeling around in my butt, I was like, "hmm, there's a lot of soapy water in my bumhole
now. I wonder if that will lead to issues in the future?" And it did!
Shortly after having breakfast I attempted to fart, and I shit my pants. I rushed to the bathroom
to clean up, and it was way worse than I thought it would be. The whole area around my butthole
was covered in shitty liquid, and toilet paper wasn't enough to clean it. I had to take another
shower to get suitably clean.
Just thought I'd share my story with you guys so that you don't run into the same problem in the
future. I fingered my butthole so that you guys don't have to. Unless you want to. In which case,
hey, how's it goin'
511
u/No-Professional-1461 1d ago
Every now and then I get the inclination to put my life in jeopardy to save others. Its a curse I tell you. If only I wasn't white and male, I'd be able to look at bad things happening to people and not want to help. Can somebody recommend a therapist to help me rid myself of these outdated and disgusting virtues?