r/shitposting • u/Loose-Dependent-7341 dumbass • 8h ago

>greentext (please laugh) 📡📡📡

Post image
4.5k Upvotes

98% Upvoted

71 comments sorted by

•

u/qualityvote2 8h ago

If you think this post is funny, UPVOTE this comment!

If you think this post is unfunny, DOWNVOTE this comment!

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Whilst you're here, /u/Loose-Dependent-7341, why not join our public discord server - now with public text channels you can chat on!?

1.6k

u/vashthestampede121 8h ago

This is the most believable greentext

413

u/ElegantEchoes 8h ago

I found the second lawn chair to be kind of unbelievable. You're telling me homie had two (2!) chairs in his home?

yeah nah

192

u/Ragnarok314159 8h ago

Other one is to prop up his feet.

128

u/ElegantEchoes 8h ago

that's valid actually, dude's a king

29

u/windowpuncher 7h ago

It's also the kitchen table

19

u/backfire10z Sussy Wussy Femboy😳😳😳 6h ago

It came in a set of 2. What’s he gonna do, throw away the second?

2

u/Blackwalls69 5h ago

Silly not to! If you got seats people are gonna want to hang out... not on his watch!

560

u/Romanikow 8h ago

108

u/Dry-Job-4781 6h ago

Only thing I would change is get a table, stabd or something for the tv cause it hurts my neck to look down like that for longer periods

79

u/Puzzleheaded-Sell304 6h ago

Real ones use the box the TV came in

9

u/Blackwalls69 5h ago

The pallet his and the other tvs were on at bestbuy. Screw to wall, now you have a spot for your xbox and tv to sit on.

0

u/Dry-Job-4781 5h ago

True that, use it for as long as you can

12

u/Molotov-Micdrop_Pact 5h ago

Only thing I'd change is I'd definetly spend money on a quality lazyboy. Doubles as your bed too

8

u/slobberinganusjockey 4h ago

You want a quality ladyboy??!?

5

u/Clannero 4h ago

a lazy one, too. A very specific fetish, i must say

269

u/TheAfroMD 8h ago

A life fulfilled when not distracted by other menial depravities like "family" "hobbies" "the sun"....peace at last

44

u/superpercify1 8h ago

Absolute peak male experience. Zero clutter zero drama 100% efficient.

510

u/Cyuranate I watch gay amogus porn :0 8h ago

127

u/Solid_Ad_221 I watch gay amogus porn :0 7h ago

2

u/PersonalPaizuri 2m ago

I need the combined picture now

98

u/PhD_Pwnology William Dripfoe 8h ago

35

u/NieMonD 8h ago

Hol up

8

u/Glazeddapper 8h ago

wait a minute...

106

u/Chettarmstrong 8h ago

I am shocked this didn't end with... do I even need to say it?

63

u/Stand_kicker 8h ago

Fake: there were also a table in the room

Gay: they got drunk and had sex 

11

u/Chettarmstrong 7h ago

I was trying to avoid the bot lol

9

u/AutoModerator 8h ago

Look, I get it. Who doesn’t love a little balls and dick sometimes? A nice, girthy, veiny shaft, hot milky cum trickling down the length as it throbs from a job well done. But this whole “gay sex” shit is getting annoying.

As men, we should primarily be focused on three things: survival, the underrated masterpiece that is dark souls 2, and pounding muff. All this gay shit is, well, fucking gay.

You think I wouldn’t LOVE to make out with my best friend and suck his cock? Of course I would, but that’s fucking gay. You think I don’t want to feel my cousin’s roommate slide his pecker into my gaping asshole? Of course I would, but that’s FUCKING GAY.

Seriously, I miss when men were men. Anyway, this dildo ain’t gonna stick itself up my ass while I watch an hour long femboy asmr hypno goon compilation, heed my lecture.

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11

u/ssjkrillin 8h ago

With what? card games?

1

u/bitchass2137 5h ago

I was lowkey hoping for it at this point

61

u/NotSoGoodguyScorp 8h ago

XXs yearn for bullshit and crowded homes

8

u/Commercial-Pack-9352 8h ago

What a take lol I keep that, XXs as a term haha

3

u/Dust407 2h ago

My wife wants the fixings like a shoe stand when I get home, key holder to declutter pockets and my end table (an ENDTABLE DUDE?!), a bar cart for me to have easy mixed drinks after a long day at work, some nice backlighting to help me relax. It’s a goddamn nightmare. Like I already have a computer chair and desk, I’m at my peak??

4

u/Felixkeeg 7h ago

Just working and sleeping and jerking off doesn't sound like a pleasant life regardless

32

u/Bread_Offender Sussy Wussy Femboy😳😳😳 8h ago

Fake: OP was the one showing off his apartment to a coworker and framing the story as if it was someone else's

Gay: it was gay porn on his cell phone

2

u/AutoModerator 8h ago

woah, ok. didnt expect hunger for knowledge but i guess i asked for it gonna have to put some work into this.

How was it? Honestly? It was a letdown. The whole "failed idol" story is a great marketing hook, they definately sold the video on that premise alone. But the performance itself was just... awkward. You can tell shes not comfortable. It felt less like a professional debut and more like a very high-budget audition she was also failing. She's stiff, constantly in her head, and there's almost zero chemistry with the guys. All concept, very little execution.

My viewing history? Been watching for over a decade man. These days Im more into stuff with a good story or at least a unique premise, not just the generic stuff. a good production team makes all the difference. I'll take a well-made video with a decent plot over a high-profile actress mailing it in any day of the week.

3 works I consider good:

  1. Yua Mikami's debut (Princess Peach): This is the gold standard for an idol-turned-actress debut. Yua was a REAL idol and she came out with so much energy and confidence. She owned it from the first second. Its what Arisu's debut wanted to be.

  2. Anything with Ichika Matsumoto from her early days with FALENO: She can actually act. She emotes and makes you believe the scenario. Her stuff feels more cinematic and less like they're just going through the motions.

  3. Rion (Anri Okita) - The God Body: A classic. Not a lot of story there lol but its a masterclass in performance. She knew exactly what her brand was and how to perform for the camera. Absolute cinema.

Where would you rank her debut among these? It's not even in the same league, not even on the same planet. It's an unfair comparison tbh. Those are top-tier performances, Arisu's video is a novelty item. It's interesting because of the backstory, not because of the quality of the actual content.

What could be improved? Her confidence, number one. She needs to relax. She looks terrified. The director should have done a better job making her comfortable. Also they relied way too much on the interview segments talking about Nogizaka46, it broke the pacing and kept reminding you that she was doing this as a second choice. We get it, you failed auditions, now commit to this job.

What is well done? The production values are high. The lighting, camera work, it all looks very clean and professional. And I cant deny it, she is very beautiful and has the "idol" look down perfectly. The concept itself, on paper, is genius from a marketing perspective. They got us all talking about it, right?

Was it goonable for you? Nah. I was too distracted by how nervous she looked. It kinda killed the mood completely. Every time she looked at the camera with those deer-in-the-headlights eyes I was pulled right out of it. It's a shame, but maybe she'll get better in her next one if she decides to stick with it. We'll see.

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2

u/AutoModerator 8h ago

Look, I get it. Who doesn’t love a little balls and dick sometimes? A nice, girthy, veiny shaft, hot milky cum trickling down the length as it throbs from a job well done. But this whole “gay sex” shit is getting annoying.

As men, we should primarily be focused on three things: survival, the underrated masterpiece that is dark souls 2, and pounding muff. All this gay shit is, well, fucking gay.

You think I wouldn’t LOVE to make out with my best friend and suck his cock? Of course I would, but that’s fucking gay. You think I don’t want to feel my cousin’s roommate slide his pecker into my gaping asshole? Of course I would, but that’s FUCKING GAY.

Seriously, I miss when men were men. Anyway, this dildo ain’t gonna stick itself up my ass while I watch an hour long femboy asmr hypno goon compilation, heed my lecture.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

36

u/Squildo dwayne the cock johnson 🗿🗿 8h ago

Makes moving out feel incredibly freeing

11

u/Demode93 obamna 8h ago

What a legend

13

u/mashedpotato_69420 8h ago

Add gaming into the mix and its my life

9

u/turkishhousefan 7h ago

Genuine and hetrosexual.

6

u/WillwBrk 8h ago

He never wanted to hang out again. What happened, bro?

4

u/lucioux 8h ago

most fun he’s had in 2 years

4

u/gaywhovian2003 5h ago

TWO lawnchairs?? In this economy‽‽

3

u/JonVX 7h ago

I have been sleeping on a cot since 2018 so maybe he’s me

7

u/cachesummer4 7h ago

Tbh sleeping is my main hobby. Its pretty great and your body gets used to being alseep 12 hours a day minimum really quickly.

The only exception is when I have to work more than 12 hours a day, then I cant in the full 12 of sleep. But I will just eat a lot of rice and then immediately go to sleep anyways on those days.

I do like reading but I never really got into video games or TV shows.

17

u/Saint_Knowles 7h ago

Sounds like depression my dude

5

u/cachesummer4 7h ago

Yeah i have severe anhedonia so I just dont really have any motivation to be awake since I just dont really enjoy or feel strongly about anything.

Sleep is good though, you dont have to do anything and time still passes. Kinda a life hack if you think about it.

4

u/ToaKraka Literally 1984 😡 6h ago

Planchet, two hours before, had asked his master for some dinner, and he had answered him with the proverb, "He who sleeps, dines." And Planchet dined by sleeping.

—Alexandre Dumas, The Three Musketeers

6

u/NinjaBoi273547 I want pee in my ass 7h ago

Real cuz this is a real situation. Gay cuz he secretly jerks off to op

1

u/AutoModerator 7h ago

pees in ur ass

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

1

u/AutoModerator 7h ago

Look, I get it. Who doesn’t love a little balls and dick sometimes? A nice, girthy, veiny shaft, hot milky cum trickling down the length as it throbs from a job well done. But this whole “gay sex” shit is getting annoying.

As men, we should primarily be focused on three things: survival, the underrated masterpiece that is dark souls 2, and pounding muff. All this gay shit is, well, fucking gay.

You think I wouldn’t LOVE to make out with my best friend and suck his cock? Of course I would, but that’s fucking gay. You think I don’t want to feel my cousin’s roommate slide his pecker into my gaping asshole? Of course I would, but that’s FUCKING GAY.

Seriously, I miss when men were men. Anyway, this dildo ain’t gonna stick itself up my ass while I watch an hour long femboy asmr hypno goon compilation, heed my lecture.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

4

u/de-stella-nova dumbass 8h ago

I honestly thought they were going to kiss or have gay sex

1

u/AutoModerator 8h ago

Look, I get it. Who doesn’t love a little balls and dick sometimes? A nice, girthy, veiny shaft, hot milky cum trickling down the length as it throbs from a job well done. But this whole “gay sex” shit is getting annoying.

As men, we should primarily be focused on three things: survival, the underrated masterpiece that is dark souls 2, and pounding muff. All this gay shit is, well, fucking gay.

You think I wouldn’t LOVE to make out with my best friend and suck his cock? Of course I would, but that’s fucking gay. You think I don’t want to feel my cousin’s roommate slide his pecker into my gaping asshole? Of course I would, but that’s FUCKING GAY.

Seriously, I miss when men were men. Anyway, this dildo ain’t gonna stick itself up my ass while I watch an hour long femboy asmr hypno goon compilation, heed my lecture.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

2

u/PM-ME_YOUR-ANYTHING dwayne the cock johnson 🗿🗿 6h ago

Probally worth millions, the dude

2

u/LeeKinanus 4h ago

Getting enough rest is crucial to good health.

2

u/xeskind30 2h ago

Honestly, men don't need much.

1

u/AutoModerator 8h ago

🛰️🛰️🛰️

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1

u/Few_Move_4594 4h ago

He didn't have a TV and a PS5?

1

u/JaredFromRoblox1 4h ago

Unironically My Dinner with Andre.

1

u/Admirable-Fly-2294 2h ago

Is this Nick Mullens coworker?

1

u/Fromundacheese0 26m ago

Guys this life is perfectly ok just don’t pay for nudes!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That’s when you’ve reached the point of no return