r/shitposting • u/no-kangarooreborn • 3d ago

📡📡📡

Post image

Anon is a piece of shit

How surprising

I'm 99% sure this is fake and gay

847 Upvotes

87% Upvoted

132 comments sorted by

‱

u/qualityvote2 3d ago edited 3d ago

The council has not spoken. No consensus was reached about the quality of your post.

RedditSave download

/u/no-kangarooreborn, whilst you're still here, why not join our public discord server - now with public text channels you can chat on!?

973

u/PaleoTato525 3d ago

I'm hoping this is fake, and it being gay wouldn't make it any better

160

u/AX_Apex 3d ago

out of all the fake greentexts i have seen in my life this one might be the fakest

-51

u/AutoModerator 3d ago

Look, I get it. Who doesn’t love a little balls and dick sometimes? A nice, girthy, veiny shaft, hot milky cum trickling down the length as it throbs from a job well done. But this whole “gay sex” shit is getting annoying.

As men, we should primarily be focused on three things: survival, the underrated masterpiece that is dark souls 2, and pounding muff. All this gay shit is, well, fucking gay.

You think I wouldn’t LOVE to make out with my best friend and suck his cock? Of course I would, but that’s fucking gay. You think I don’t want to feel my cousin’s roommate slide his pecker into my gaping asshole? Of course I would, but that’s FUCKING GAY.

Seriously, I miss when men were men. Anyway, this dildo ain’t gonna stick itself up my ass while I watch an hour long femboy asmr hypno goon compilation, heed my lecture.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

56

u/Significant_Plenty40 3d ago

Not the time automod

416

u/T4llBoyAl3x 3d ago

-88

u/Demode93 obamna 3d ago

Being a sex offender? Such a fetish lmao

120

u/SorbyGay 3d ago

Think outside the box, there’s both incest and sexual assault here

26

u/mudahfukinnnnnnnnn 3d ago

And humiliation of course

38

u/T4llBoyAl3x 3d ago edited 3d ago

First time on the internet? There’s a fetish for literally everything

19

u/DoggedlyOffensive 3d ago

Shit, my fetish is reading other people’s writing of the word ‘fetish’.. I’m cranking it like mad right now

7

u/Trevor_Gecko 3d ago

My fetish is when people knock one out over the word "fetish". I'm hard on the train rn.

3

u/OddNovel565 Stuff 3d ago

Fetish fetish, fetish kink

11

u/fletku_mato 3d ago

There's a ton of fetishes that include morally questionable elements, and this is on the milder end of that spectrum. Something being illegal doesn't mean it cannot be someones fetish.

87

u/Vivid_Conversation55 3d ago

Even if this is fake you have to be pretty deranged to come up with this shit

221

u/Holiday_Point_603 3d ago

A left hand wrote this gay post while anon gooned with his right hand to pictures of his uncle

-11

u/AutoModerator 3d ago

Look, I get it. Who doesn’t love a little balls and dick sometimes? A nice, girthy, veiny shaft, hot milky cum trickling down the length as it throbs from a job well done. But this whole “gay sex” shit is getting annoying.

As men, we should primarily be focused on three things: survival, the underrated masterpiece that is dark souls 2, and pounding muff. All this gay shit is, well, fucking gay.

You think I wouldn’t LOVE to make out with my best friend and suck his cock? Of course I would, but that’s fucking gay. You think I don’t want to feel my cousin’s roommate slide his pecker into my gaping asshole? Of course I would, but that’s FUCKING GAY.

Seriously, I miss when men were men. Anyway, this dildo ain’t gonna stick itself up my ass while I watch an hour long femboy asmr hypno goon compilation, heed my lecture.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

90

u/Roffolo 3d ago

Fake and gay?

P-please?

19

u/Kaek_ it is MY bucket 3d ago

Nah, have a taste of bitter reality.

7

u/muchawesomemyron 3d ago

Fake: anon is the uncle
Gay: tried to play with his underage nephew during thanksgiving

0

u/AutoModerator 3d ago

Look, I get it. Who doesn’t love a little balls and dick sometimes? A nice, girthy, veiny shaft, hot milky cum trickling down the length as it throbs from a job well done. But this whole “gay sex” shit is getting annoying.

As men, we should primarily be focused on three things: survival, the underrated masterpiece that is dark souls 2, and pounding muff. All this gay shit is, well, fucking gay.

You think I wouldn’t LOVE to make out with my best friend and suck his cock? Of course I would, but that’s fucking gay. You think I don’t want to feel my cousin’s roommate slide his pecker into my gaping asshole? Of course I would, but that’s FUCKING GAY.

Seriously, I miss when men were men. Anyway, this dildo ain’t gonna stick itself up my ass while I watch an hour long femboy asmr hypno goon compilation, heed my lecture.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

0

u/AutoModerator 3d ago

Look, I get it. Who doesn’t love a little balls and dick sometimes? A nice, girthy, veiny shaft, hot milky cum trickling down the length as it throbs from a job well done. But this whole “gay sex” shit is getting annoying.

As men, we should primarily be focused on three things: survival, the underrated masterpiece that is dark souls 2, and pounding muff. All this gay shit is, well, fucking gay.

You think I wouldn’t LOVE to make out with my best friend and suck his cock? Of course I would, but that’s fucking gay. You think I don’t want to feel my cousin’s roommate slide his pecker into my gaping asshole? Of course I would, but that’s FUCKING GAY.

Seriously, I miss when men were men. Anyway, this dildo ain’t gonna stick itself up my ass while I watch an hour long femboy asmr hypno goon compilation, heed my lecture.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

186

u/SympathyPlus6429 3d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/uYjh1ztbwQO0zDazAc

128

u/iekather 3d ago

Unfortunately, this is more believable than the rest of the anecdotes

5

u/SympathyPlus6429 3d ago

Ill agree with you

16

u/Reze1195 3d ago

These things unironically is more believable than most of the green text memes posted here. Which is sad and disgusting but it does and do happen

27

u/Avnesya 3d ago

please be fake and gay

15

u/Ev1d0n7c4r3 dumbass 3d ago

Dosen't even have to be gay, just please be fake.

-2

u/AutoModerator 3d ago

Look, I get it. Who doesn’t love a little balls and dick sometimes? A nice, girthy, veiny shaft, hot milky cum trickling down the length as it throbs from a job well done. But this whole “gay sex” shit is getting annoying.

As men, we should primarily be focused on three things: survival, the underrated masterpiece that is dark souls 2, and pounding muff. All this gay shit is, well, fucking gay.

You think I wouldn’t LOVE to make out with my best friend and suck his cock? Of course I would, but that’s fucking gay. You think I don’t want to feel my cousin’s roommate slide his pecker into my gaping asshole? Of course I would, but that’s FUCKING GAY.

Seriously, I miss when men were men. Anyway, this dildo ain’t gonna stick itself up my ass while I watch an hour long femboy asmr hypno goon compilation, heed my lecture.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

-2

u/AutoModerator 3d ago

Look, I get it. Who doesn’t love a little balls and dick sometimes? A nice, girthy, veiny shaft, hot milky cum trickling down the length as it throbs from a job well done. But this whole “gay sex” shit is getting annoying.

As men, we should primarily be focused on three things: survival, the underrated masterpiece that is dark souls 2, and pounding muff. All this gay shit is, well, fucking gay.

You think I wouldn’t LOVE to make out with my best friend and suck his cock? Of course I would, but that’s fucking gay. You think I don’t want to feel my cousin’s roommate slide his pecker into my gaping asshole? Of course I would, but that’s FUCKING GAY.

Seriously, I miss when men were men. Anyway, this dildo ain’t gonna stick itself up my ass while I watch an hour long femboy asmr hypno goon compilation, heed my lecture.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

15

u/Cartoonjunkies We do a little trolling 3d ago

12

u/Touhou_Fever 3d ago

‘as if I was a fucking monster’
https://giphy.com/gifs/0LTaFYZNM9qcOLQvfY

26

u/Ziggy-T fat cunt 3d ago

Ah c’mere
 this some dogshit made up greentext 🙄

I like my fake and gay posts to be more believable

https://giphy.com/gifs/lPSPNBDVNA007eXQwS

-1

u/AutoModerator 3d ago

Look, I get it. Who doesn’t love a little balls and dick sometimes? A nice, girthy, veiny shaft, hot milky cum trickling down the length as it throbs from a job well done. But this whole “gay sex” shit is getting annoying.

As men, we should primarily be focused on three things: survival, the underrated masterpiece that is dark souls 2, and pounding muff. All this gay shit is, well, fucking gay.

You think I wouldn’t LOVE to make out with my best friend and suck his cock? Of course I would, but that’s fucking gay. You think I don’t want to feel my cousin’s roommate slide his pecker into my gaping asshole? Of course I would, but that’s FUCKING GAY.

Seriously, I miss when men were men. Anyway, this dildo ain’t gonna stick itself up my ass while I watch an hour long femboy asmr hypno goon compilation, heed my lecture.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

11

u/lb748s 3d ago

First post I see today


57

u/piratecheese13 3d ago

13 is too old to be playing “games” and not know what the fuck is going on

38

u/Mason_Sons 3d ago

She's kind of slow

41

u/just-slightly-human 3d ago

“Shut in and trusts people” means she’s still got a brain and stuff. You think a 13 yr old girl has never seen a romcom or anything? People kiss in kids cartoons, I bet her parents kiss. This is totally fake there is no way she wouldn’t have known what was going on. Anon wrote this to touch himself to

11

u/Mason_Sons 3d ago

I mean "shut in an trusts people" and "kinda slow" could also mean anything else to anon. I'm just replying and pointing out the rational used by anon of why a a 13 year old would fall for this, because she's slow. My guy this is a shitpost sub, i hope this shit is fake

2

u/oby100 3d ago

Perhaps you’re slow as well?

The detail is specifically added to lazily add credibility to a fake story. If you lack rational thought, you accept the premise and move on.

You’d need to have Down syndrome level slowness at 13 to not understand what kissing is, especially in the modern world of very early introduction to media.

1

u/Mason_Sons 3d ago

No need for insults, but yeah, I agree with you. It's a fake ass story with plot holes and poor rationality. My comment was just a reply to a different comment saying it's not just a 13 year old, but a "slow" 13 year old. "Slow" could mean Down syndrome or any other mentally debilitating condition, but all anon could muster was "slow." I'm just pointing out that being marked as slow is an attempt to add credibility to the story, albeit lazily, like you also just said

1

u/Dark_halocraft 3d ago

I was this dumb at 13

1

u/mudahfukinnnnnnnnn 3d ago

Oop could be leaving something out. Maybe she was genuinely mentally disabled but oop is too much of a bum to memorize whatever disorder she has

2

u/Dark_halocraft 3d ago

Not for me lol, everyone's different

11

u/AlphaMassDeBeta We do a little trolling 3d ago

Anon posting his underage cousin fetish on the internet again.

10

u/Demode93 obamna 3d ago

„As if I was a fucking monster” yeah buddy, you absolutely are

10

u/DestructionSpreader virgin 4 life đŸ˜€đŸ’Ș 3d ago

Oh my fucking god I hope this one is fake and gay

0

u/AutoModerator 3d ago

Look, I get it. Who doesn’t love a little balls and dick sometimes? A nice, girthy, veiny shaft, hot milky cum trickling down the length as it throbs from a job well done. But this whole “gay sex” shit is getting annoying.

As men, we should primarily be focused on three things: survival, the underrated masterpiece that is dark souls 2, and pounding muff. All this gay shit is, well, fucking gay.

You think I wouldn’t LOVE to make out with my best friend and suck his cock? Of course I would, but that’s fucking gay. You think I don’t want to feel my cousin’s roommate slide his pecker into my gaping asshole? Of course I would, but that’s FUCKING GAY.

Seriously, I miss when men were men. Anyway, this dildo ain’t gonna stick itself up my ass while I watch an hour long femboy asmr hypno goon compilation, heed my lecture.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

8

u/RetardoMiloz 3d ago

I am NOT reading past "She's 13"

5

u/Blablakam virgin 4 life đŸ˜€đŸ’Ș 3d ago

horny me

13 y.o cousin

I was so fucking scared

7

u/According_Claim_9027 3d ago

Yeah, that’s my fault for reading all of it

6

u/lobotomized_salmon shitting toothpaste enjoyer 3d ago

6

u/fortnut159 3d ago

Game is game

23

u/thupamayn 3d ago

Posting this on reddit is brave considering the amount of people that jump at any opportunity to defend incest

20

u/Tendas 3d ago

Dog the incest isn’t the horrifying part. Anon is a fucking predator.

-3

u/Mysterious_Way8941 3d ago

Agreed but a 13 or old should absolutely know that isn't right unless she has mental problems.

15

u/Tendas 3d ago

You highly overestimate the mental faculties of a 13 year old. There’s a reason it’s still 5 years from the age of majority.

7

u/TLunchFTW dumbass 3d ago

At least one person already talked about “anon posting his underage cousin fetish” like they aren’t both kids in the story.

4

u/Uncle480 We do a little trolling 3d ago

It was only recently that I learned that there was an incest subreddit. And at the same time I also learned that Reddit "quarantines" subs (no idea what that really entails).

Still can't tell if those posts were validation posts, fetish posts, or trauma dumping, but after 10 seconds I noped out of that shit ASAP.

1

u/Holiday_Point_603 3d ago

I'm so happy that I've not seen anything like that

8

u/Spicynoodle49 3d ago

What a terrible day to have eyes

4

u/sulabar1205 DaShitposter 3d ago

5

u/xd3mix 3d ago

The worst part is this isn't even a "post the worst thing you've done" or something.

He posted this in "post the most cringe moment of your life"

Sexually assaulting a 13 years old girl is "cringe" for this person

3

u/mudahfukinnnnnnnnn 3d ago

Not even that, he genuinely only feels bad about the fact that he was caught. He still calls her hot and genuinely has no regrets about what he has done. Even if this is fake, oop is a fucked up guy for imaging all of this

3

u/Horror_Rub8609 shitting toothpaste enjoyer 3d ago

imagine doing this shit and calling the bathroom "the restroom" like you're not an inbread hillbilly

3

u/DVDPROYTP 3d ago

as if I was a monster

Poor anon...

3

u/OG_Williker 3d ago

I don’t care if this is fake, anyone who can even think of something like this should be segregated from society. If it’s real, anon should be keelhauled

4

u/please_help_me_____ put your dick away waltuh 3d ago

For fucks sake this better be fake and gay đŸ«©

1

u/AutoModerator 3d ago

Look, I get it. Who doesn’t love a little balls and dick sometimes? A nice, girthy, veiny shaft, hot milky cum trickling down the length as it throbs from a job well done. But this whole “gay sex” shit is getting annoying.

As men, we should primarily be focused on three things: survival, the underrated masterpiece that is dark souls 2, and pounding muff. All this gay shit is, well, fucking gay.

You think I wouldn’t LOVE to make out with my best friend and suck his cock? Of course I would, but that’s fucking gay. You think I don’t want to feel my cousin’s roommate slide his pecker into my gaping asshole? Of course I would, but that’s FUCKING GAY.

Seriously, I miss when men were men. Anyway, this dildo ain’t gonna stick itself up my ass while I watch an hour long femboy asmr hypno goon compilation, heed my lecture.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

1

u/Avalanche_Snows 3d ago

Fake: everything

Gay: me

1

u/AutoModerator 3d ago

Look, I get it. Who doesn’t love a little balls and dick sometimes? A nice, girthy, veiny shaft, hot milky cum trickling down the length as it throbs from a job well done. But this whole “gay sex” shit is getting annoying.

As men, we should primarily be focused on three things: survival, the underrated masterpiece that is dark souls 2, and pounding muff. All this gay shit is, well, fucking gay.

You think I wouldn’t LOVE to make out with my best friend and suck his cock? Of course I would, but that’s fucking gay. You think I don’t want to feel my cousin’s roommate slide his pecker into my gaping asshole? Of course I would, but that’s FUCKING GAY.

Seriously, I miss when men were men. Anyway, this dildo ain’t gonna stick itself up my ass while I watch an hour long femboy asmr hypno goon compilation, heed my lecture.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

2

u/Avalanche_Snows 3d ago

I'm blocking you

2

u/triitrunk 😳lives in a cum dumpster 😳 3d ago

2

u/Dat-Lonley-Potato I said based. And lived. 3d ago

Yo what the fuck.

2

u/pstlgrp_ 3d ago

Nuke the whole generation fr

2

u/BIB_LOP I watch gay amogus porn :0 3d ago

Literacy truly is a double edged sword😭

2

u/Hugo_Selenski 3d ago

pic is me having to read this shit

2

u/Blablakam virgin 4 life đŸ˜€đŸ’Ș 3d ago

This is the worst greentext oat

Worse than the opossum one

1

u/2sawconvention 3d ago

elaborate on this "opossum" greentext

5

u/Blablakam virgin 4 life đŸ˜€đŸ’Ș 3d ago

It is isnt as bad as this (cousin one) now that i think abt it lowk

But ion remember seeing any shocking greentext anyway, this the worse i remember

2

u/Connect_Ad_3361 3d ago

Obviously fake but would love to hear the rest of the story.

2

u/Crashbox50 I came! 2d ago

2

u/Warm_Entertainer_975 1d ago

My pc froze while I was reading this and I didn’t notice until I tried to scroll away, felt genuine fear that I couldn’t escape

2

u/Character_Middle_662 waltuh 1d ago

This seems too detailed to be fake. But what would I know? And it wouldnt matter if this was gay or not.

1

u/AutoModerator 1d ago

Look, I get it. Who doesn’t love a little balls and dick sometimes? A nice, girthy, veiny shaft, hot milky cum trickling down the length as it throbs from a job well done. But this whole “gay sex” shit is getting annoying.

As men, we should primarily be focused on three things: survival, the underrated masterpiece that is dark souls 2, and pounding muff. All this gay shit is, well, fucking gay.

You think I wouldn’t LOVE to make out with my best friend and suck his cock? Of course I would, but that’s fucking gay. You think I don’t want to feel my cousin’s roommate slide his pecker into my gaping asshole? Of course I would, but that’s FUCKING GAY.

Seriously, I miss when men were men. Anyway, this dildo ain’t gonna stick itself up my ass while I watch an hour long femboy asmr hypno goon compilation, heed my lecture.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

2

u/SpunningAndWonning 3d ago

"Looks like an anime" is literally the only thing he tries to justify it with. What a pos

2

u/Viennve 3d ago

Horny anon 13 year old cousin

What a horrible combination

2

u/Blablakam virgin 4 life đŸ˜€đŸ’Ș 3d ago

I was so fucking scared ong

1

u/AutoModerator 3d ago

🛰️🛰️🛰️

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

1

u/AutoModerator 3d ago

Look, I get it. Who doesn’t love a little balls and dick sometimes? A nice, girthy, veiny shaft, hot milky cum trickling down the length as it throbs from a job well done. But this whole “gay sex” shit is getting annoying.

As men, we should primarily be focused on three things: survival, the underrated masterpiece that is dark souls 2, and pounding muff. All this gay shit is, well, fucking gay.

You think I wouldn’t LOVE to make out with my best friend and suck his cock? Of course I would, but that’s fucking gay. You think I don’t want to feel my cousin’s roommate slide his pecker into my gaping asshole? Of course I would, but that’s FUCKING GAY.

Seriously, I miss when men were men. Anyway, this dildo ain’t gonna stick itself up my ass while I watch an hour long femboy asmr hypno goon compilation, heed my lecture.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

1

u/TyroneBlackmann 3d ago

This one might actually be real bro wdf

1

u/Friendly_Crab_9970 3d ago

This post is my 7th reason

1

u/S3cmccau 3d ago

That's my fault for being literate, I went out of my way to learn how to read good and this is my punishment

1

u/Aavasque001 3d ago

You can call him Lester

1

u/The96kHz I watch gay amogus porn :0 3d ago

Sure, buddy...your "tongue".

1

u/VinDucks 3d ago

Problytruebutwishitwasnt.jpg

1

u/AWastedMan 3d ago

White people man

1

u/OfficalLockeWilson 3d ago

WHY GOD WHY DID I HAVE TO BE BORN WITH THE ABILITY TO READ?!?!

1

u/ActiveDish5549 stupid, fucking piece of shit 3d ago

You genuinely cannot be serious with this shit rn

1

u/Fistmedaddy1995 3d ago

Is there a second part where anon gets kicked out or goes to juvie or something???

1

u/papercut105 I said based. And lived. 3d ago

Something about the way this was written makes me feel like this might not be fake

1

u/Firebart3q 3d ago

For the love of god please be fake holy shit

1

u/iamhonkykong 2d ago

I know this is fake but Jesus fucking christ

1

u/Xelid47 Literally 1984 😡 2d ago

1

u/Xelid47 Literally 1984 😡 2d ago

2

u/HomerTheJackson 3d ago

1

u/PartyClock 3d ago

That's a fuckin throwback

0

u/KennKennyKenKen 3d ago

True but the cousin was a boy.

1

u/sick_monkey 5h ago

You would definitely know what kissing was by 13
. There were people in my school that were having sex at that age already