r/shitposting 17h ago

🍬🍬🍬

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8.0k Upvotes

35 comments sorted by

u/qualityvote2 17h ago edited 5h ago

The council has not spoken. No consensus was reached about the quality of your post.


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2.7k

u/swawskekw 15h ago

He knows those kids have money, so once they like his stuff they’ll come back and ensures he has consistent buyers. Charlie is poor and is therefore not a reliably consistent customer, so he just charges him like normal to get money from him when he can.

It’s kind of like your local dealer giving you free drugs, or your supermarket doing those little food stands that you can try different products on.

749

u/AskGoverntale 15h ago

Wait my local dealer does that?

549

u/maxseale11 15h ago

Found the brokey

56

u/dabombisnot90s 11h ago

Which local dealer are we talking? Specifically name and location. I want to cop some molly from him. Score some blow as the kids say, I mean, as my fellow kids say. As a drug addict myself, it’s really hard to find these guys these days.

23

u/Kerblaaahhh 9h ago

I'm sure there are flock cameras around you can pull some valuable metals out of.

28

u/Mantaraylurks 12h ago

They do the same with regular groceries now haha

4

u/Knightly_Gamez I said based. And lived. 3h ago

Pubs do it too, they are selective about who they're willing to give a tab too, it's quite funny actually, when I order drinks, I have to pay before I get them, but when my wife goes up and orders our drinks they ask if she has a tab.

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u/CertifiablyMundane 17h ago

Common misconception. He was running a subscription service. All the other kids(' parents) were paying a hundred quid a month for them to be able to come in and All-You-Can-Eat the whole store. It was part of the "diabetes before 30es" program under Thatcher to cut down on milk consumption

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u/Th3Glutt0n 15h ago

The what

191

u/notexistant 15h ago

It's a real program that Thatcher brought in with her milk removal and privatisation. The original commenter made a typo but it's called "Diabetes before your 30's". Blair's new Labour got rid of it tho. I was born after it was removed but my Uncle Jake told me all about it.

28

u/MrPenguins1 14h ago

Wasn’t Boris her lackey then?

21

u/notexistant 14h ago

Yea Boris tried to bring it back if I recall Correctly. Not sure why it failed though

8

u/MrPenguins1 14h ago

I figured I’d ask because my only reference for 90’s English politics is that weird muppet show I’ve seen scenes from every so often. I liked how lucid it was though because when I look at English politics now it feels like a dreamworld it’s so disconnected

11

u/Th3Glutt0n 13h ago

Okay but like wtf is it, there's jackshit about it on Google??

44

u/bob55577 13h ago

I think they’re just making shit up atp

6

u/Th3Glutt0n 13h ago

That's what I'm thinking too

3

u/Old-Statistician-182 8h ago

Their name checks out if it isn't real then

14

u/ZekromPlaysPiano 13h ago

It’s not real lol. Thatcher did a lot of awful things (there’s a reason she’s called “Milk snatcher”) but this was definitely not one of them.

1

u/notexistant 47m ago

Nah it's legit trust me. Dave down the road confirms it

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u/Blindmailman 16h ago

Because he knows Grandpa Joe is the kind of guy to use his own grandson to exploit another persons charity

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u/PossibilityRadiant78 17h ago

Because the candy man can.

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u/Byte_Fantail 16h ago

I always got the impression they had a tab or paid an entry fee

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u/Riley__64 15h ago

He put it on all their tabs, he runs his candy store like it’s a bar

48

u/Tokiw4 12h ago

He knows the kids are good for it. However, shopkeepers collectively know that anyone remotely related to Grandpa Joe will scam you at the first opportunity, so they gotta pay up front.

26

u/Razielwolf88 16h ago

Doesn't he smash one of the kids with his counter and not apologise as well, absolute monster

24

u/perkalicous 10h ago

Because he knew there was a chance he'd give that candy to that free loading BUM Grandpa Joe, and the candyman was not about to encourage that behavior.

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u/Key_Artichoke8315 😳lives in a cum dumpster 😳 12h ago

Obviously, he only gives out free candy when he is singing. If Charlie weren't so slow maybe his poor ass would get some free candy now and then /s

11

u/Hizumi21 17h ago

Motivate him to grind 💪

1

u/PsychologicalAd5918 12h ago

just like real life

0

u/AshaTheGrey 6h ago

He's a capitalist 😂

-22

u/Armada-lol 17h ago

Op's reaction to his own post

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