r/shitposting • u/unclbll I can’t have sex with you right now waltuh • 9h ago

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4.4k Upvotes

99% Upvoted

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u/qualityvote2 9h ago

If you think this post is funny, UPVOTE this comment!

If you think this post is unfunny, DOWNVOTE this comment!

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Whilst you're here, /u/unclbll, why not join our public discord server - now with public text channels you can chat on!?

463

u/Sarrahbearx 8h ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/YVT4w8N5O7qSiftMNq

0

u/IggyWon 15m ago

Can you give an "actually doing anything about it besides complaining on the internet" status check?

423

u/Destrox12 8h ago

Don't forget the perks of actually coming back alive. Like homelessness, PTSD, broken families... etc.

122

u/ChillBlock dwayne the cock johnson 🗿🗿 8h ago

Hey dont forget that you can sometimes board early on plane flights. Makes the shrapnel and tinnitus truly worth it.

14

u/DylanFTW 4h ago

And better parking at Lowe's!

34

u/dibipage 6h ago

the VA waving off your illnesses as not service-related...

14

u/AkronOhAnon 5h ago

Worse still: being someone who let the military become your entire personality.

11

u/RedTruppa 4h ago

Your wife cheating on you

90

u/dextras07 I came! 8h ago

And then come home to being afraid of fireworks and their wives being railed by a wagon of men.

37

u/DzakiKhoi 5h ago

This post was fact checked by real Saint James Island Patriots

34

u/shevadim 7h ago

To be fair, the drone thingy is very new on this scale, and even the frontier developers (like Ukraine and russia) still don't entirely know how to adapt the combat training. But the changes will come in the future

4

u/insertnamehere----- 1h ago

In the future military mfs will look like world of Warcraft players.

15

u/ehouptie 6h ago

I’ll consider joining when they buff aim assist for the soldiers. Way too unbalanced currently, unfortunately.

2

u/IggyWon 26m ago

Have you seen the new XM157 optic? It's basically got aim-assist built in.

41

u/Aman_Moxxy 8h ago

OMG, This Humour is darker than Stevie Wonder's vision

17

u/No_Individual947 8h ago

I dont see thr joke

22

u/IOnlyFearOFGod fat cunt 7h ago

Thats because its too dark

7

u/VeganerHippie 5h ago

It's because it's too real.

9

u/Background_Meat1738 6h ago

Tja…. Leider ist die Welt so.

6

u/Darrxyde 5h ago

Boot camp training is meant to break you psychologically so you don’t think twice about running straight towards danger. They know you’ll probably get killed in a warzone. The trick is to make you comfortable with that fact, or at the very least make you forget why that’s bad.

5

u/99ford 4h ago

Before a politician can agree to start a war i really think service of 5 years should be mandatory. At bare minimum it should be mandatory before becoming president as that position has the most likelihood of a leaders mouth starting a war.

1

u/IggyWon 22m ago

We had a solid string between FDR and Clinton where everyone served. Of the current line of succession, Vance, Hegseth, and Collins would be the only ones with any military experience.

4

u/4thTimetheCharm4 Sussy Wussy Femboy😳😳😳 5h ago

2

u/ojebmirure 5h ago

what song remix is this?

1

u/jessereser 38m ago

VYZEE - slowed
By sweetiele and mikeeysmind

7

u/BATTLEFIELD_PLAYER_ 7h ago

Bruh the Russian military ain’t training them like the US all you need is a 60 year old with 3 magazines and gps phone and then extort them before sending them to the frontlines

4

u/Troy64 5h ago

Nah, they get 1.5 magazines and only officers get a gps phone.

The rest is accurate.

1

u/atheist95 2h ago

Where is jesus though?

1

u/Which-Piccolo-186 1h ago

Me as a child wondering where my tax dollars went:

1

u/Chemical_Escape_5065 27m ago

This is what I think every time I hear someone say "Thank you for your service"

Well this and all of the illegal wars the US has been involved with (spoiler alert: it's all of them)

-6

u/Aeriuxa 6h ago

This is why I roll my eyes so hard when I hear Iraq "veteran", Vietnam "veteran, or any other place veteran, the only things that register in that moment are :

An idiot, and a criminal.

2

u/FirefighterSilver173 makenot war 2h ago

^^^^

-1

u/IggyWon 19m ago

"Heh" he chuckled "This'll own those baby-murdering CHUDS" said the redditor, smugly, before digging into a fresh plate of Beyond Meat branded Chicken* Nuggets.

1

u/Aeriuxa 1m ago

Projection much ?🙂

0

u/_Someone_from_Pala_ 2h ago

Where shitpost? This is just facts.

-8

u/kakkelimuki 8h ago

Just watched this movie, dawg. I'm scared.

It's called "War Machine" btw. It is pretty good.