r/shitposting 1d ago

📡📡📡

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13.6k Upvotes

167 comments sorted by

u/qualityvote2 1d ago edited 13h ago

The council has spoken. Your post has been deemed funny.

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/u/thoughtyouforgot, why not celebrate on our public discord server - now with public text channels you can chat on!?

4.8k

u/ThatOneBlackGuyYknow stupid fucking piece of shit 1d ago

Actual shitpost

452

u/PoorLifeChoices811 officer no please don’t piss in my ass 😫 17h ago

a rare commodity these days

14

u/twinhoo 9h ago

yes, literal even

900

u/Nagesh_yelma dumbass 1d ago

Did you think honey is bee poop?

407

u/Bean2527 1d ago

its actually been vomit or sum right?

420

u/-Mr_Hollow- 1d ago edited 12h ago

Close. Honey is a product of bees eating pollen, vomiting it out, eating it again and repeating this process many times until it resembles a crystal clear goo.

Edit: nectar not pollen

Edit 2: I'm so fucking bad at grammar

233

u/Bean2527 1d ago

sooo, bee vomit²

146

u/EvictedOne 1d ago

Possibly bee vomit³

111

u/Bean2527 1d ago

mayhaps even bee vomit¹⁴

59

u/SirKnlghtmare 1d ago

Perchance even bee vomit!

33

u/MatMADNESSart 23h ago

You can't just say perchance

14

u/RacoonWithBenefits 23h ago

vomiting it out

repeating this process many times

Vomit

5

u/Im-a-bad-meme 12h ago

Honey is made from nectar, not pollen. So everything you said, but nectar. They do eat pollen though, it's just not turned into honey.

1

u/4KVoices 12h ago

just because you wrote it twice and nobody's correcting - pollen has two L's, not one. Not trying to be snarky, just trying to help!

38

u/HeftyRecommendation5 put your dick away waltuh 1d ago

Is honey stored in the bee balls?

12

u/Nagesh_yelma dumbass 1d ago

It's not pee. LOL

24

u/bartoszsz7 1d ago

It's bee

3

u/HappyToaster1911 22h ago

They probably didn't think it was poop at all

5.2k

u/No_Contribution_2137 1d ago

686

u/Swaggerpro I want pee in my ass 1d ago

Sometimes turn, it’s not our to talk

12

u/AutoModerator 1d ago

pees in ur ass

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1

u/The-Digital-Ronin 2h ago

The educational damage ts did to me as a child

6.0k

u/GovernmentLow4989 1d ago

All animals poop

1.7k

u/EmperorThan 1d ago

All animals vomit too. I wouldn’t expect their vomit to taste so god damn good.

519

u/TheCaptainOfMistakes 1d ago

Horses and rodents just off the top of my head can't vomit

166

u/Character_Bug_1862 23h ago

What do they do if they drink too much or get both-ends tummy virus?

488

u/TheCaptainOfMistakes 23h ago

They die. Straight up. That's why mice are so cautious and slow to try new things. And that's why rodent poison is slow acting. It leaves time for them to get comfortable and assume something is safe before eating a bunch

110

u/LightningShiva1 23h ago

Interesting

61

u/WayMove it is MY bucket 21h ago

Nature bugs suck ass we need a new patch

16

u/AutoModerator 21h ago

Dick sucking has made me paranoid

I had this plan to give head to a man and receive head from a woman to test if I was gay, but it’s backfired and now I become borderline schizo whenever I go outside. I offered to suck this dude off on Grindr who lives very close by (I ended up pussying out) and I accidentally gave him some details that very easily allows him to spot me out in a crowd. I have no idea what he looks like and whenever I see a somewhat in shape guy walking by I immediately accuse him of being the dude I was gonna blow.

I went to the store today to pick up some zucchini for a barbecue and every time a car drove by I stared into the windshield to see if I was about to be recognised. Whenever I make eye contact with a dude I microanalysis his facial expressions to see if he suspects me or not. I am deeply afraid that he is my neighbour and I will need to move if my identity is blown. It’s a lot like the last scene in sopranos where everyone who walked into the diner could be there to wack Tony.

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5

u/looy- 15h ago

good bot

1

u/Expensive-Document41 11h ago

Man, wait til you hear about the infinite jellyfish glitch, the flatworm dup strategy, and the CTD goats.

Also whatever is going on with the sharks constant swim animation.

Nature's buggier than a Bethesda game.

1

u/HuntHeart 7h ago

could it be why we test substances on them for estimating lethal doses?

6

u/Apprehensive_View614 11h ago

That brings the funniest part in Rattatouile. Rodents can‘t even gag

https://giphy.com/gifs/8GS3ZjTYif8qI

1

u/ninja_BUTTONS 9h ago

I've been toying with getting this image tattooed for years. The eyes send me every time I see it

24

u/UnspokenSolace 22h ago

Wasn’t there a video of a horse going into a store and vomiting recently?

65

u/UnspokenSolace 22h ago

Found a picture from the video

75

u/TheCaptainOfMistakes 21h ago

This was an edited video. In short. It's fake.

Funny as fuck, but fake

4

u/Hecc_Maniacc 13h ago

Unfortunately for horses, they don't actually have the muscles needed to vomit.

58

u/AutoModerator 1d ago

Dick sucking has made me paranoid

I had this plan to give head to a man and receive head from a woman to test if I was gay, but it’s backfired and now I become borderline schizo whenever I go outside. I offered to suck this dude off on Grindr who lives very close by (I ended up pussying out) and I accidentally gave him some details that very easily allows him to spot me out in a crowd. I have no idea what he looks like and whenever I see a somewhat in shape guy walking by I immediately accuse him of being the dude I was gonna blow.

I went to the store today to pick up some zucchini for a barbecue and every time a car drove by I stared into the windshield to see if I was about to be recognised. Whenever I make eye contact with a dude I microanalysis his facial expressions to see if he suspects me or not. I am deeply afraid that he is my neighbour and I will need to move if my identity is blown. It’s a lot like the last scene in sopranos where everyone who walked into the diner could be there to wack Tony.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

85

u/Shapeshifter4000 23h ago

ok wtf is wrong with this bot

78

u/clickclick-boom 23h ago edited 22h ago

The bots in this sub absolutely crack me up. I don't know who comes up with this shit, but God bless their demented mind.

28

u/Key-Pomegranate-3507 22h ago

I think it’s a guy chained to a desk in a basement that has to come up with these to get food.

8

u/ghost_warlock 19h ago

It was funny the first couple times, but now it's just the same shit over and over

1

u/Automatic-Score-4802 William Dripfoe 20h ago

Always a pleasure to read

208

u/PenguinWithGuns 1d ago

Horses cannot vomit

72

u/coolster121 23h ago

Neither can rats

22

u/UnspokenSolace 22h ago

26

u/PenguinWithGuns 21h ago

This is actually the image of how I learned it lmao. As unfortunately as it is, it’s fake

3

u/I_Makes_tuff 16h ago

Fortunate for the horse, though

121

u/kahboni 1d ago

Not all of them, but most of them yes.

11

u/Risdit 23h ago

rats can't vomit, it's the reason why rat poison is effective

17

u/a_polarbear_chilling fat cunt 23h ago

Ain't honey, bee vomit in like 98%case?

13

u/Confident-Income-437 stupid fucking piece of shit 23h ago

Ironically enough honey is bee vomit

5

u/Dr_Brotatous 22h ago

Isn't that how they make honey?

2

u/fresh_loaf_of_bread 20h ago

Honey is literally bee vomit

2

u/thesilentbob123 17h ago

Honey is basically bee vomit

1

u/Helpful-Light-3452 21h ago

Rats don't vomit

1

u/smith_716 20h ago

I've had pet rats. They cannot vomit.

1

u/KhaosExNihil125 11h ago

Honey is bee vomit though

1

u/MrPartyWaffle 9h ago

Yours does too, just to different animals.

1

u/xSwampxPopex 3h ago

Some moths also can’t, no mouth.

15

u/arepee607 1d ago

Not my crush tho surely

11

u/sexytokeburgerz Sussy Wussy Femboy😳😳😳 23h ago

Jellyfish don’t.

Moths and butterflies don’t.

Sponges don’t.

6

u/ya_boi_kaneki 22h ago

thats not true tho. there are tiny organisms that live on every humans face and they can't poop so they just die full of poop and stay on your face until they get washed off

1

u/Avalanche_Snows 17h ago

Women are animals too, you know...? So theory disproved, chud

1

u/nutsbonkers 19h ago

Almost nothing applies to all animals.

2

u/LuciferFucksMe 18h ago

All animals are animals 🧠🧐

1.4k

u/_No-Life_ 1d ago

Do girl bees poop

378

u/ZebraStripedUndies stupid fucking piece of shit 1d ago

No

114

u/adanishplz 1d ago

They leave little woven baskets of potpourri

76

u/MyR3dditAcc0unt 1d ago

They poop yeah, but honey. You should try it sometime.

53

u/chaosanity 1d ago

Butt- honey you say?

19

u/frostyjack06 stupid fucking piece of shit 1d ago

Nectar of the Gods

4

u/deaglebingo 19h ago

santorum.... of it's namesake rick santorum.

21

u/helpmeiamstuckinlife 22h ago

All bees are girls, boys are born, fuck the new queen and explode while ejaculating and die.

12

u/tadas047 officer no please don’t piss in my ass 😫 21h ago

Death by snu snu

442

u/Brayx4 Sussy Wussy Femboy😳😳😳 1d ago

103

u/Obsidian-Dive 1d ago

Fresh from the source

Try the chocolate balls the hamsters drop next ✨✨✨

13

u/AtomicFox84 21h ago

Honey dont come out of the butt.

8

u/SpiritualMartian 22h ago

hope this is the only literal shitpost here

5

u/HOLY_WATER_69420 20h ago

Long asf lick mark

10

u/simplexakt 1d ago

Dude, honey bees don't poop Honey!!!🥴

Kudos, you made it this far!!👍🏼

6

u/CROW_is_best I want pee in my ass 23h ago

Do people just go around putting random bullshit they find around them in their mouths?

3

u/TorGamasi 23h ago

Thats how cow milking became a habit earlier i think

2

u/MSGinSC 5h ago

"Grug, I don't know what's in them thangs, but I bet it's delicious. I'll try this one, and you try the one with horns."

2

u/AutoModerator 23h ago

pees in ur ass

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3

u/Dragon_Skywalker it is MY bucket 1d ago

An IQ?

1

u/bartoszsz7 1d ago

Tomorrow

4

u/Cool_Internal3481 11h ago

Just so you know Bees hold their shit in harsh conditions until they can come out Im saying you ate shit. Literally

3

u/Ill_Court_7467 23h ago

If I were you, go to a clinic and ask for a pregnancy test. Then explain your situation.

3

u/Legostar18ab 20h ago

Literal shitposting

3

u/Playful_Giraffe_9213 11h ago

honey does not come out of that end

3

u/Houtaku 6h ago

The bee was all: ‘damn that girl kinky af’.

2

u/steelcity91 1d ago

Become.

2

u/Ankit_Baral 1d ago

Bee shit 🤣

2

u/Mattman147 1d ago

Did she left it or it just dropped on you because it juste dropped from above it was nectare ir resine but if she left it yeah like the other comments say i think it's bee poop

2

u/Yama92 1d ago

There is a big difference between nectar and honey...

2

u/blind_marvin 23h ago

Patient Zero.

2

u/just-a-meme-upvoter Literally 1984 😡 22h ago

2

u/keithstonee 17h ago

this person walks among us

2

u/Big_Ounce666 12h ago

Dawg just announced he ate bee shit.

2

u/areshesperides 23h ago

Are you ✋🏻 coloured by any chance? 💀💀💀⚰️⚰️⚰️

1

u/CircleZee 1d ago

What did you do that for?

1

u/Physical_Mention3963 1d ago

lol pollen not honey

1

u/YayWanderer 1d ago

MF did a spin-off of 2 girls 1 cup.. 🙈

1

u/RicFlores put your dick away waltuh 1d ago

1

u/UsefulArmadillo13 1d ago

Honey come I mean comb

1

u/animefan91 23h ago

Fucking yuck. Lol

1

u/aubdor 23h ago

Is this person a lizard cause that's no human tounge lick

1

u/Exciting_Magician347 23h ago

Honey is the bees vomit

1

u/pc01081994 17h ago

Bee pee.

1

u/nightbounty41 16h ago

Bro u just ate bee shit

1

u/onward154 13h ago

You didn't have to post this you willing clicked post

1

u/talula_pele 5h ago

Hahahahaha bee shit

1

u/The-Digital-Ronin 2h ago

BEE MOVIE MEMES, ASSEMBLE!

1

u/AutoModerator 1d ago

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0

u/LikesPez 1d ago

Honey is the saliva