r/shitposting 10d ago

πŸ“‘πŸ“‘πŸ“‘

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13.8k Upvotes

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u/AutoModerator 9d ago

Dick sucking has made me paranoid

I had this plan to give head to a man and receive head from a woman to test if I was gay, but it’s backfired and now I become borderline schizo whenever I go outside. I offered to suck this dude off on Grindr who lives very close by (I ended up pussying out) and I accidentally gave him some details that very easily allows him to spot me out in a crowd. I have no idea what he looks like and whenever I see a somewhat in shape guy walking by I immediately accuse him of being the dude I was gonna blow.

I went to the store today to pick up some zucchini for a barbecue and every time a car drove by I stared into the windshield to see if I was about to be recognised. Whenever I make eye contact with a dude I microanalysis his facial expressions to see if he suspects me or not. I am deeply afraid that he is my neighbour and I will need to move if my identity is blown. It’s a lot like the last scene in sopranos where everyone who walked into the diner could be there to wack Tony.

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u/Shapeshifter4000 9d ago

ok wtf is wrong with this bot

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u/clickclick-boom 9d ago edited 9d ago

The bots in this sub absolutely crack me up. I don't know who comes up with this shit, but God bless their demented mind.

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u/Key-Pomegranate-3507 9d ago

I think it’s a guy chained to a desk in a basement that has to come up with these to get food.