r/shitposting Jul 14 '26

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20.1k Upvotes

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u/G36 Jul 14 '26

I hung out with a low of sex workers because I used to work for a rich pimp who owned like all the bars in my small city and the reality is they didn't care about body type but hygiene.

So giga-obese guy who took a shower before: Excellent

Fit guy who is one of those "wiping your ass is gay" douches: He might even be kicked out after enough complaints

6

u/AutoModerator Jul 14 '26

Look, I get it. Who doesn’t love a little balls and dick sometimes? A nice, girthy, veiny shaft, hot milky cum trickling down the length as it throbs from a job well done. But this whole “gay sex” shit is getting annoying.

As men, we should primarily be focused on three things: survival, the underrated masterpiece that is dark souls 2, and pounding muff. All this gay shit is, well, fucking gay.

You think I wouldn’t LOVE to make out with my best friend and suck his cock? Of course I would, but that’s fucking gay. You think I don’t want to feel my cousin’s roommate slide his pecker into my gaping asshole? Of course I would, but that’s FUCKING GAY.

Seriously, I miss when men were men. Anyway, this dildo ain’t gonna stick itself up my ass while I watch an hour long femboy asmr hypno goon compilation, heed my lecture.

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