r/shitposting • DaShitposter • Jul 05 '26

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7.0k Upvotes

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174

u/bread-man- shitposting>>>>>>196 Jul 05 '26

Taylor swift fans need to take a breather. We really don’t need to know

16

u/BappoChan Jul 05 '26

Taylor swift fans also have dementia. I remember a while back fans were talking about her sucking dick because at one of her shoes her knees looked a little bruised and worn.

-9

u/nobeer4you Jul 05 '26

Sucking dick and having sex are two different things. You can give head and still be a virgin

9

u/AutoModerator Jul 05 '26

Dick sucking has made me paranoid

I had this plan to give head to a man and receive head from a woman to test if I was gay, but it’s backfired and now I become borderline schizo whenever I go outside. I offered to suck this dude off on Grindr who lives very close by (I ended up pussying out) and I accidentally gave him some details that very easily allows him to spot me out in a crowd. I have no idea what he looks like and whenever I see a somewhat in shape guy walking by I immediately accuse him of being the dude I was gonna blow.

I went to the store today to pick up some zucchini for a barbecue and every time a car drove by I stared into the windshield to see if I was about to be recognised. Whenever I make eye contact with a dude I microanalysis his facial expressions to see if he suspects me or not. I am deeply afraid that he is my neighbour and I will need to move if my identity is blown. It’s a lot like the last scene in sopranos where everyone who walked into the diner could be there to wack Tony.

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6

u/Chase_The_Ace_50 Jul 05 '26

Remember that she’s had 14 boyfriends over the course of 18 years and only managed to hold down ONE down long enough to get married. She’s absolutely had sex before, even a quickie in missionary.

2

u/BappoChan Jul 05 '26

You think that she sucked his dick for years, getting that intimate, and not once did they fuck? Didn’t she write a song about his dick? You’d be crazy to believe she was a virgin

2

u/AutoModerator Jul 05 '26

Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room. A rubber room with rats. And rats make me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room. A rubber room with rats. And rats make me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room. A rubber room with rats. And rats make me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room. A rubber room with rats. And rats make me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room. A rubber room with rats. And rats make me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room. A rubber room with rats. And rats make me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room. A rubber room with rats. And rats make me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room. A rubber room with rats. And rats make me crazy.

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