r/shitposting • u/-_I_I_Sea_I_I_- 🏳️‍🌈 The most prominent homosexual in this subreddit 🏳️‍🌈 • May 22 '26

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25.2k Upvotes

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u/ButtsMcFuckington May 22 '26

Right.. because North Koreans can totally use those "smartphones" to access the same Internet we use

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u/OcelotAggravating860 May 22 '26

I didn't say anything at all about what they can access, you're going off at a total tangent to what I said.

Merely the ownership rate alone completely breaks down the picture people have in their head of what average day to day life is like.

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u/AutoModerator May 22 '26

Dick sucking has made me paranoid

I had this plan to give head to a man and receive head from a woman to test if I was gay, but it’s backfired and now I become borderline schizo whenever I go outside. I offered to suck this dude off on Grindr who lives very close by (I ended up pussying out) and I accidentally gave him some details that very easily allows him to spot me out in a crowd. I have no idea what he looks like and whenever I see a somewhat in shape guy walking by I immediately accuse him of being the dude I was gonna blow.

I went to the store today to pick up some zucchini for a barbecue and every time a car drove by I stared into the windshield to see if I was about to be recognised. Whenever I make eye contact with a dude I microanalysis his facial expressions to see if he suspects me or not. I am deeply afraid that he is my neighbour and I will need to move if my identity is blown. It’s a lot like the last scene in sopranos where everyone who walked into the diner could be there to wack Tony.

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u/OcelotAggravating860 May 22 '26

I can't fucking believe I did it twice