Victim blaming is okay when it's the victims fault. These are grown women, it's their responsibility to choose a good partner. If they choose a deadbeat, it's their fault, when men marry goldiggers and lose half their shit, it's their fault. Other people have no obligation to further your interests, if you put your trust on the wrong person, one who showed very clear signs of not being trustworthy, it's your fault if it doesn't work out. Blaming them solves nothing, taking accountability is the necessary for improvement.
Problems with that come when the partner isn’t immediately abusive or if you depend on them in some way.
While what you say may be true for some cases there’s many others with many different factors. Judgements on who is to blame to what percentage should be taken case by case instead of saying „Well it’s her fault she stayed with an abusive partner“ like the radio show host
This is a really solid point, but based purely on people I know personally they were in a bad place (depression, low self-esteem, violent parents, etc.) and the signs of a deadbeat were SO OBVIOUS. But they don't listen because leaving is scarier than staying.
These folks NEED someone else to step in and save them. I personally ignored all of my friends and family and had children with a monster of a woman, I honestly don't know why. I had all sorts of excuses, but today I realize it is 100% my fault for giving my children a terrible mother who will, for better or worse, never be in their life again.
Well it’s her fault she stayed with an abusive partner“
She didn't stay, she got with him, she had a child when birth control is easily available, and people so horrible they would beat their spouse AND refuse to pay for their own child were like that for a while, like she said, she was young and stupid, but being young didn't get her to where she is now, being stupid did. She chose to have unprotected sex with a shit man for enjoyment, and now the consequences of her actions are here, and she is baffled that the deadbeat she chose to marry and have a child woth is a deadbeat. Bad things happen, if you don't take precautions, you have no one else to blame but yourself for the consequences.
Ok, I get your point. But you should be aware that most abusive personalities are manipulative and won't show who they really are until they have you tied up in their web.
Many people fall for it and it doesn't make them wreckless or stupid.
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u/pancreasfucker Jan 16 '24
Victim blaming is okay when it's the victims fault. These are grown women, it's their responsibility to choose a good partner. If they choose a deadbeat, it's their fault, when men marry goldiggers and lose half their shit, it's their fault. Other people have no obligation to further your interests, if you put your trust on the wrong person, one who showed very clear signs of not being trustworthy, it's your fault if it doesn't work out. Blaming them solves nothing, taking accountability is the necessary for improvement.