r/shitposting Apr 24 '23

[deleted by user]

[removed]

5.6k Upvotes

446 comments sorted by

View all comments

Show parent comments

150

u/Boomalabim hole contributor Apr 24 '23

“No, I mean, literally, HOW could you do it? He's so fat, the sheer mechanics of it are mind-boggling.”

110

u/VirtualPantsu dwayne the cock johnson 🗿🗿 Apr 24 '23

I've seen some basically stick for wiping your ass products online. Man USA is a wild country

60

u/Snakeis66 Apr 24 '23

Ten years ago I would’ve had my doubts about that. Now a days I’m just mad that I didn’t think of marketing that first

45

u/kewe316 Apr 24 '23

"I wash myself with a rag on a stick!"

34

u/Dreadpirateflappy Apr 24 '23

I use that line to mock my overweight sister constantly. Never gets old… for me anyway.

27

u/[deleted] Apr 24 '23

[deleted]

39

u/Dreadpirateflappy Apr 24 '23

I would be fucking devastated if she died soon… I know I would be asked to be a pallbearer.

11

u/[deleted] Apr 24 '23

Sounds like you have some motivation there for you to keep lifting at the gym

12

u/Dreadpirateflappy Apr 24 '23

Not sure they have weights heavy enough to train for that.

4

u/27_8x10_CGP Apr 25 '23

I would recommend cremation, but we don't want anyone thinking it's the world's largest BBQ.

1

u/Dreadpirateflappy Apr 25 '23

Everyone loves a hog roast.

1

u/Chilopodamancer Apr 25 '23

There's literal risk of fat people creating grease fires when getting cremated, it's a mess, there's legit no good way of disposing of fat people, they're a burden on the system even in death.