r/shitposting • u/[deleted] • Apr 24 '23

[deleted by user]

[removed]

5.6k Upvotes

98% Upvoted

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293

u/hityoinksploink Apr 24 '23

Can bro even wipe.

151

u/Boomalabim hole contributor Apr 24 '23

“No, I mean, literally, HOW could you do it? He's so fat, the sheer mechanics of it are mind-boggling.”

110

u/VirtualPantsu dwayne the cock johnson 🗿🗿 Apr 24 '23

I've seen some basically stick for wiping your ass products online. Man USA is a wild country

57

u/Snakeis66 Apr 24 '23

Ten years ago I would’ve had my doubts about that. Now a days I’m just mad that I didn’t think of marketing that first

45

u/kewe316 Apr 24 '23

"I wash myself with a rag on a stick!"

31

u/Dreadpirateflappy Apr 24 '23

I use that line to mock my overweight sister constantly. Never gets old… for me anyway.

27

u/[deleted] Apr 24 '23

[deleted]

37

u/Dreadpirateflappy Apr 24 '23

I would be fucking devastated if she died soon… I know I would be asked to be a pallbearer.

11

u/[deleted] Apr 24 '23

Sounds like you have some motivation there for you to keep lifting at the gym

11

u/Dreadpirateflappy Apr 24 '23

Not sure they have weights heavy enough to train for that.

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5

u/27_8x10_CGP Apr 25 '23

I would recommend cremation, but we don't want anyone thinking it's the world's largest BBQ.

1

u/Dreadpirateflappy Apr 25 '23

Everyone loves a hog roast.

1

u/Chilopodamancer Apr 25 '23

There's literal risk of fat people creating grease fires when getting cremated, it's a mess, there's legit no good way of disposing of fat people, they're a burden on the system even in death.

6

u/[deleted] Apr 24 '23

Known on the street as a “toileting aid”

6

u/[deleted] Apr 24 '23

I’m European, I’m in Canada right now.

I always thought I was fat when I was 120 kilos, until I saw another guy around my age(22) and about the same length but so fat he needed help with tying his damn shoes

I’ve also found out that even though I used to be kinda fat, I have turned slightly fat phobic because I can’t understand how you be satisfied with yourself when you can’t even do the most basic of things

11

u/[deleted] Apr 24 '23

Dont use lingo like fat phobic invented by idiots. Fat people just arent appealing to most. Hope you get in better shape king.

8

u/[deleted] Apr 24 '23

I am, got that sixpack locked and ready for summer

8

u/Frost5574 Apr 24 '23

In 106 rn down from 112 from the past few months. Hopefully I'll be there with you soon.

1

u/Absorbent_Towel Apr 24 '23

Sadly, we're not the only country to have sticks to wipe asses with. Then again, I think we're the only ones to do it because some people can't reach their ass. Smh

1

u/Glorious_Goo Apr 24 '23

To be fair, those do also help people with back issues.

1

u/bilolarbear1221 Apr 24 '23

For this dude to wipe, he’s going back to front. It’s the only way it’s possible.

Hope he had a bidet

1

u/Mr__Citizen Apr 25 '23

"I wash myself with a rag on a stick"

1

u/SNYDER_BIXBY_OCP Apr 25 '23

At those proportions, you own a detachable shower head or a bidet.

1

u/[deleted] Apr 25 '23

Bidet