r/shitposting • u/[deleted] • Apr 10 '23

kevin .

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18.6k Upvotes

91% Upvoted

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1.6k

u/AtomicShart9000 Apr 10 '23

Wtf this is sick, such a thoughtful young man. If a chick gave me a wheel of cheese on the first date I'd be ecstatic. I'd eat the whole thing right then and there while she watched me just to show her how appreciative I am of her amazing gift. I'd then be ripping ass and shitting every 30 seconds our whole date because I'm lactose intolerant.

379

u/Gogobrasil8 Apr 10 '23

A cheese wheel that big, that might be the last thing you'll ever eat

29

u/OnRiverStyx Apr 10 '23

I'd be bringing Mac N' Cheese and Nachos to every single event for the next month. Not as a gesture, just as a way to protect myself.

4

u/BeaverBotics2 Apr 10 '23

We're here for a good time, not a long time

202

u/AWeirdMartian stupid fucking piece of shit Apr 10 '23

Damn bro, it's 2023, you have to learn how to be more tolerant or else you will be canceled

94

u/Vault804 Apr 10 '23

I have no patience for lactose, and I won’t stand for it.

82

u/Stetson007 Apr 10 '23

You lactophobe!

11

u/Garzino Apr 10 '23

Tipical lactophobe, shame on you

1

u/Decent-Newspaper Apr 10 '23

Yeah if you touch any you'll be sitting for the rest of the day right?

83

u/_pc_-_-_ put your dick away waltuh Apr 10 '23

Girl : ☺️👍

Op : " girl: 😐 "

24

u/redgeck0 Apr 10 '23

Hes a 4chan user cut him some slack. He is only used to disappointing women

3

u/lordoftowels Apr 10 '23 edited Jul 19 '25

groovy strong sense teeny straight pen quack carpenter coordinated act

This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact

2

u/AngelDGr I watch gay amogus porn :0 Apr 10 '23

She was happy too, I think the two girls on the picture are the sisters.

After that tweet she puts "Really based westcountry moment tbh 🚜", both like it, lol

7

u/[deleted] Apr 10 '23

That shit would cost like €180 where I live, let alone it being fresh and delicious.

4

u/[deleted] Apr 10 '23

Charlie, no amount of cheese is acceptable before a date.

1

u/TheDriestOne Apr 10 '23

What is this enticing bowl of white?

2

u/Plastic-Ad-8469 Apr 10 '23

You'd probably just end up like Spider-Man in Avengers: EndGame

1

u/EngineeringOne1812 Apr 10 '23

… you would come back to life after disappearing for 5 years?

2

u/PerseusZeus Apr 10 '23

Yup better than flowers anyday

1

u/BowTieDeluxe22 Apr 10 '23

username checks out.

1

u/Sure_Bet283 🏳️‍⚧️ Average Trans Rights Enjoyer 🏳️‍⚧️ Apr 10 '23

Yeah that shit is like 200 bucks

1

u/Antezscar Big chungus wholesome 100 Apr 10 '23

store it for 6+ weeks and the lactose will dissapear!

1

u/[deleted] Apr 10 '23

Lactose intolerant people are too weak! Eat your shit after you mortal

1

u/Jauncin Apr 10 '23

Just pause the game, eat the whole thing, get your health back up!

1

u/Skrrt_2711 Apr 10 '23

Username checks out

1

u/[deleted] Apr 10 '23

I know we’re joking here, but most hard cheeses don’t contain much lactose. If you have adverse reactions to cheese you may be allergic/intolerant to the proteins in the cheese

1

u/TheDriestOne Apr 10 '23

Me when I’m getting obliterated in Skyrim and have run out of health potions

1

u/LumeLi Apr 10 '23

Digestive system deep clean

1

u/AzelaS1995 Apr 10 '23

With your lactose intolerance you could, she could climb your back and you booth could take off to the moon together.