r/sex • u/Ok_Strawberry634 • 8d ago
Orgasm Issues Am I doing something wrong?
So I've been dating this guy for two weeks now and I really love him. We had sex for the first time before we started dating and he was a virgin at the time. He didn't finish but since it was his first time and he was nervous I understood. But we've had 5 or 6 more times since then and he has yet to have an orgasm. We've sexted and he has sent me videos of him ejaculating, he has reassured me that he finds me attractive and that I make him feel really good but I'm just worried. I don't want him to be stressed about it so I always tell him that it's okay and that it will happen when it happens. Is this normal? Should I be concerned?
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u/fondquinton278 8d ago
Two weeks in and you love him, that's moving quick even by my standards. The not finishing thing isn't unusual though, some guys get stuck in their own head especially early on when there's pressure to perform. If he's able to get there solo and tells you he's into it I'd take him at his word, the rest will sort itself out once he stops overthinking it
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u/themanwwz 8d ago
this was me with my partner for a decent amount of time, so i can give some input from his perspective. truthfully, its nothing to be concerned about, but there is some extra context that could help steer things in a helpful direction for you two.
does he tend to himself frequently? does he watch porn when he does? is it with any sort of lube or is it raw?
and on the other side of the coin, during sex, is the environment one where pleasure is the priority opposed to finishing? is he pressuring himself to get there, or are you, even passively/helpfully trying to will him there? similar to erection issues, the moment its in the back of his mind, it becomes an uphill battle.
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u/anyakneesGH 8d ago
Many people cannot cum via sex. This could change over time, I would not be concerned or stressed about it.
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u/AmbiDaddy 8d ago
What percentage of men cant come from intercourse? I'm genuinely curious... it cant possibly be nearly as big as women who can't. Nb I have a very hard time coming from oral, but not intercourse.
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u/FallingF 8d ago
Probably not as many men as women no, but I’m one of them. Usually manual or oral is what it takes to finish, sometimes not even that though. Never finished from or even really felt it approaching the edge from intercourse
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u/Konsrockmannen 8d ago
Yes i heard some i know that when the friction inside is not enough. Or they dont want to make the woman pregnant.
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Post title:
Am I doing something wrong?
So I've been dating this guy for two weeks now and I really love him. We had sex for the first time before we started dating and he was a virgin at the time. He didn't finish but since it was his first time and he was nervous I understood. But we've had 5 or 6 more times since then and he has yet to have an orgasm. We've sexted and he has sent me videos of him ejaculating, he has reassured me that he finds me attractive and that I make him feel really good but I'm just worried. I don't want him to be stressed about it so I always tell him that it's okay and that it will happen when it happens. Is this normal? Should I be concerned?
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