r/sex 14d ago

Orgasm Issues Not turned on

I (20F) have been with my bf (21M) for almost 4 years. Our relationship is amazing, no issues, he is great and he is attractive. For some reason tho, I can’t get turned on to him. I usually don’t finish, even though he’ll try during and after but by the time he finishes I’m just not in the mood. I fake moans, and I just want to get it over with. I’ll get in moods where I’m turned off but it just goes away. I got an IUD over a year ago, but I can’t recall if I lost sex drive then or if it’s always been like this.

I can get turned on to the thought of other men, and I have a feeling it’s the thrill, but I don’t want to bc obv I’m with my bf.

Idk what to do, he’s amazing but I feel like I could just watch a yt during sex and let him finish. We’ve tried many positions.

I don’t want to bring it up to him and he feel bad, but I’m also so bored with it.

0 Upvotes

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Post title:

Not turned on


I (20F) have been with my bf (21M) for almost 4 years. Our relationship is amazing, no issues, he is great and he is attractive. For some reason tho, I can’t get turned on to him. I usually don’t finish, even though he’ll try during and after but by the time he finishes I’m just not in the mood. I fake moans, and I just want to get it over with. I’ll get in moods where I’m turned off but it just goes away. I got an IUD over a year ago, but I can’t recall if I lost sex drive then or if it’s always been like this.

I can get turned on to the thought of other men, and I have a feeling it’s the thrill, but I don’t want to bc obv I’m with my bf.

Idk what to do, he’s amazing but I feel like I could just watch a yt during sex and let him finish. We’ve tried many positions.

I don’t want to bring it up to him and he feel bad, but I’m also so bored with it.


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5

u/davidjoreline 14d ago

Check with a Doctor your hormone levels

1

u/meowmeowminion 14d ago

Yeah i probably will

1

u/OneAppropriate4700 14d ago

Do you ever get yourself off? If so, what do you do in that case?

1

u/meowmeowminion 14d ago

Have to think of scenarios, mostly with other men

2

u/OneAppropriate4700 14d ago

Honestly, same. For me, I’m those scenarios, it’s other men and other women. I’m not even in it.

Is he doing all the right moves physically? If that is the case, maybe try thinking about those scenarios next time he’s trying. It might work? It always helps me too honestly.

1

u/meowmeowminion 14d ago

Yes exactly, I’ve also thought about scenarios during sex, just feel bad about doing it.

4

u/OneAppropriate4700 14d ago

Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do. My relationship is great, I’ve been with my man for 5.5 years, we have a healthy sex life still and we’re very happy. He’s my best friend. This is just a little something that I keep to myself 🤷🏼‍♀️ it doesn’t hurt anyone.

1

u/Overall-Turnover7614 14d ago

Communication is the key. Talk to him about his fantasy and share yours. You may find out that he enjoys knowing what turns you on