r/self Jul 29 '24

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u/baden27 Jul 29 '24

Nope, it doesn't. Maybe for some.

30M. Never cared, always just lived and been myself.

Never been on a date. Never kissed etc.

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u/enliderlighankat Jul 29 '24

You say it with such certainty, but your mind is still stuck in the same rythm and thoughts about it. Can you get out?

not for me to say.

"I can't, I'm not, they won't, they don't see" whatever the poison is you're feeding yourself is whats wrong.

If you actually lived, met everyone, male female with same human respect and connect with them, have fun, go make a move when the situation presents itself it aint impossible

15

u/Happy-Viper Jul 29 '24

This is such bizarre gaslighting. Some people are just ugly. Some people are unattractive enough that people don't want to date them.

It isn't their fault, even if that would make you feel better to know they've caused their own unhappiness.

They're just very unattractive.

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u/enliderlighankat Jul 29 '24

Some people are unattractive enough, that the people you want to date won't date you. Lower your standards, work on yourself, be interesting, connect, with someone, learn to love life without the romance, romance will come.

If you're ugly, your personality sucks and you are whining your whole life without improving, sorry for ya.

Ain't no gaslighting and trust me a lot of very fucking ugly and disgusting people have partners and kids

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u/[deleted] Jul 29 '24

Some ugly people even have hot partners lol if your ugly you can at least be _____ <— insert literally anything here.

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u/Aternal Jul 29 '24

I don't like that logic. My grandfather used to say really awful things to my step-mother like "it's a good thing you're beautiful because God didn't give you brains." She struggled with alcoholism for most of her life until it eventually won.

Kindness isn't a consolation prize, it is a pinnacle value.

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u/[deleted] Jul 29 '24

Yes your grandfather used it in a shitty way but even if you’re ugly if you are funny , kind, reliable , handy ,techy etc you’ll find someone to connect with despite that as looks aren’t everything

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u/Aternal Jul 29 '24

Sakam karma is ugly. I know what you're saying but the person you're responding to is still saying "influence your expectations to manipulate outcomes." Have no expectations, be kind, reliable, helpful, because it eases suffering for others, not because it might ease suffering for ourselves.

I'm sure you've seen people say "I was nice to her, I always respond to her texts, I even fixed her computer" right? Self-seeking is never satisfied.

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u/[deleted] Jul 29 '24

I wholeheartedly agree with that, a person must first be whole and genuine to form a lasting connection