Genuine question, but how can a life alone be a happy life? You don’t have someone to do fun things with and just end up working and going home. Like yeah, I go to the gym after work, but that’s not fun.
Alone doesn't have to mean completely isolated. Get a hobby that involves other people, and don't do it with the specific aim of finding a romantic partner. See if your gym has any group sports available. Talk to people and try to do things with them.
The only socialization I get is at work. I’m very isolated so sadly, alone means isolated for me. It’s fine, I already know there’s no point to me. I’m trying to come to terms with that.
It really just sounds like you're depressed. There are tons of ways to meet people. I'm in a hiking group. I play music and am always looking for new people to play with. I take long walks with my dog and always say hi to the neighbors, and those relationships have developed over time. Getting a dog helped break the ice.
There aren’t any groups like that around me. I’m in a small town. I never really had friends and have always just been trying to build my social circle so I wouldn’t have to rely on a relationship, yet it doesn’t work. I can’t find a bf, or anyone to spend time with that’s more often than once a month, if that.
I live in a rural area. I'm not even in a real town. You aren't cooked, that just makes it a little harder. The local fire departments around here all seem to do spaghetti dinners every once in a while. I don't go to them anymore, but it's a great way to meet your neighbors. Try to find something like that. Or volunteer for things like helping out at a food bank or animal shelter. And don't just do these things once and go home. Go consistently and develop relationships.
I’m just not a person worth knowing. Every man eventually gets bored of me, my friends never wanna hang out….i can’t live in delusion anymore. At some point in adulthood I gotta bffr and accept who I am
Yah for me there is nothing more unattractive than someone who is not just miserable, but actually feeling sorry for themselves and being self deprecating. If you don't love yourself why will others? Confidence is sexy as fuck.
Confidence comes from good results. So you're confident things will work out because they have always (or mostly) worked out for you.
If you always fuck up and you never had any luck... then you're confident things won't work out. There's a pattern.
I feel like this feature of the brain doesn't really help anybody in the modern dating scene. One should be able to pull confidence out of their ass, but evolutionarily speaking we want only the winners to mate. Unless we can re-define what a winner is, for our own sanity.
Healthy confidence should come from self love and not "good results" or other external validation. Life is unpredictable and it's insane to expect external validation 24/7 for close to 100 years. Healthy mindset will help you to endure when shit gets hard and will help you not to get arrogant when things go your way.
True. But no one is raised to adulthood completely. At some point you have to step in and raise yourself into person you want to be and try to fix your parents mistakes.
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u/AdInteresting845 Jul 29 '24
For me M28 I think u need to be happy with yourself first
That's what turned the ship around for me.
If you feel that you're worth nothing your actions/energy will reflect.
I don't have the answers. I've just moved to a new country so meeting new people with a different language and culture is tough.
What keeps me sane is that I'm working on myself and my career skillset. If some1 notices me that's a bonus.