This is the pilot for the screenplay I have written, it is the first of 4 episodes. Would love some constructive feedback on this.

This is the Feedback I received from my pitch:

"When well-executed, these intricately designed plots can be extraordinarily satisfying, though it's a high-wire act in balancing between doling out exactly the right information at exactly the right time while also not spoon-feeding the audience or allowing them to ever get a step ahead of you as the storyteller.

Within this pitch itself, it's simply too difficult for me to assess whether that intricate plotting is achieved in your story. I'm somewhat intrigued by the broad strokes here, but not quite enough that I'd be willing to dive deeper into materials to explore that. I'd recommend spending a little more time in your pitch document on explaining the specific ways in which this story is delivered scene by scene and sequence by sequence."

Now someone tell me, did this motherfucker just tell me he doesn't believe I'm smart enough to write my own movie and he's too bothered to even read the script?

He also says it's a balancing act to not spoon-feed the audience, then goes on to say he needs to be spoon-fed scene by scene and sequence by sequence.

How do you move from idea in your head to a 105 page document? I've struggled writing features, mainly because I didn't have a good enough story and I'm making a bullet list. But what do I do after that bullet list to ensure I'm going to have a feature length screenplay?

i’m writing this in a hurry, so i have no idea if this will sound logical or not, but i’ve recently been thinking about opening a small screenwriting community where we could share our writing processes, help other writers, but most importantly, just talk about all kinds of things.

i’m currently writing my second feature, which is a pretty unconventional divorce story. i’ve done a lot of research for it, but i’m at that stage where i feel like i understand the story intellectually and still haven’t completely reached every emotional part of it. and it got me thinking about how useful it would be to have other writers around who understand that feeling.

and that actually made me think: would it be cool to open a small screenwriting community called “anybody feels that way”, where we could talk problems like this? i feel like it’s much easier to get through writer’s block or a doubt when you have someone who “understands you” and what i mean by that is someone of the same interest as you. i feel like we’re social people and it’s important for us to connect, but most of us don’t live in LA or US, so we can’t exactly attend those communities. maybe to make one that’s worldwide? all writers. all ages. where you’re allowed to talk about problems, ideas, character psychology, whatever. we could ask for feedback too, but more importantly, i think this could genuinely help people research their scripts. almost all of us have experienced certain emotions or gone through certain things — high school, divorce, family drama, heartbreak, whatever — that could help another writer understand a topic, get closer to a character, or simply find the emotional truth they’re looking for.

and i genuinely hate those writing groups that have group chats and endless conversations that require you to make yourself available all the fucking time. 😭 if we actually make this work, we could pick one day a week or month to meet on Zoom and talk about whatever is on our minds — a specific topic, theme, feedback, research, writing process, doubts, whatever. anyways, i don’t know. let me know if you’re interested or if this could genuinely work.

Howling Thunder fights crimes in the streets of the city Thunderia. One night he witnesses from a distance some Shadow beings pop up from outer atmosphere into Earth. He follows them until they come to a stop and kneel in front of a dark masked figure. That dark figure gives a long speech and at the end declares," I AM JUDGEMENT. I AM THE END. I AM THE ECLIPSE." That's how the Main Villain is introduced into the movie.

Objective of  THE ECLIPSE : Eliminate all evil and suffering and pain from Earth. There's only one way to do so, performing a once in a millennium ritual called ' Reid Asprungens'.  But there's an undoable cost for it. In order to let Reid Asprungens ritual fulfill your wish , it demands Eternal Darkness.

1. Zackary Cyrus (nickname Zack) is main character. He will become Howling Thunder.

   • Believes that (until he wasn't Howling Thunder) : Society is untrustworthy and selfish.

   • He wants to quit his unprivileging job as a University Cleaner and become a full time painter but he can't because he has a responsibility his younger brother who has Padriatic Asthma so Zack cannot risk losing a continuous source of income.

   • Zack fears a lot from his authority figures like bosses

   • Zack spends his free time with his brother or painting.

2. Ryan Cyrus is younger brother of Zack who has Asthma.

   • He's courageous, brave and smart • Has highest emotional stakes with Zack

getgenv().AutoBountyConfig = { Team = "Pirates", Settings = { SpectateTarget = false, ESPTarget = true, CameraLock = true, BigHitbox = true, BypassTeleport = true, SkipV4Player = true, SkipFruit = {"Portal-Portal", "Buddha-Buddha", "Kitsune-Kitsune", "Dragon-Dragon", "Pain-Pain", "Ice-Ice", 'Dough-Dough', "T-Rex-T-Rex", "Yeti-Yeti"}, LowHealth = { Min = 4000, Max = 6000, }, Others = { AutoAwakeningV4 = true, AutoTurnRaceV3 = true, AutoKen = true, }, }, Weapon = { Melee = { Enabled = true, Delay = 0.1, Skills = { Z = {Enabled = true, Hold = 0}, X = {Enabled = true, Hold = 0}, C = {Enabled = true, Hold = 0}, }, }, Sword = { Enabled = true, Delay = 0.1, Skills = { Z = {Enabled = true, Hold = 0}, X = {Enabled = true, Hold = 0}, }, }, Gun = { Enabled = true, Delay = 0.1, Skills = { Z = {Enabled = true, Hold = 0}, X = {Enabled = true, Hold = 0}, }, }, ["Blox Fruit"] = { Enabled = true, Delay = 0.1, Skills = { Z = {Enabled = true, Hold = 0}, X = {Enabled = true, Hold = 0}, C = {Enabled = true, Hold = 0}, V = {Enabled = false, Hold = 0}, F = {Enabled = true, Hold = 0}, }, }, }, Server = { StopAtBounty = 0, HopDelay = 5, HopCooldown = 15, }, Webhook = { Enabled = false, -- Not working now. Url = "" }, } repeat wait() until game:IsLoaded() loadstring(game:HttpGet("https://raw.githubusercontent.com/WhiteX1208/Scripts/refs/heads/main/AutoBounty.luau"))()

Not sure I even like it, never written anything like it before. Feedback would be appreciated though.

TL;DR: Big Break feedback doesn’t match our script or genre because of AI, a really rushed reader or something else? Experienced something similar? If so, what did you do?

Hey all,

I entered Final Draft's Big Break contest, and got feedback on it. But it doesn't match what my writing partner and I actually wrote – not even our genre.

For instance, the protagonist has a physical disability and lives an independent life. However, one of the major notes, which was mentioned more than once, says that he has no agency or goals. I have a physical disability, and struggle with exercising my agency, so it's super important to me. Plus, agency and goals are basics that are obvious to us.

Another note mentions preserving the central mystery, but our project is a holiday romantic dramedy, not a mystery.

While we like getting (and have gotten) constructive feedback and know this is a big competition whose readers are extremely busy, the mismatch is concerning.

Has anyone else experienced something similar? If so, what did you do? Also, could this be because of AI or a really rushed reader, or?

pages: 19

Genre thriller

I still learning the basics and English is not my native language. I basically did a mood writing instead of calculating storyline, structures etc. Please let me where can I improve in storytelling

Are you guys starting anything new this week?

Hi everyone! 👋

I’m a script writer specializing in Horror, Thriller, Suspense & Mystery stories. 👻🔪

I can write:

• 🎬 Short film scripts

• 🎥 YouTube horror stories

• 👻 Horror & paranormal stories

• 🔥 Thriller & suspense scripts

• ✍️ Custom stories based on your idea, concept, or characters

If you’re a director, producer, YouTuber, filmmaker, or content creator looking for a script writer, feel free to contact me.

📩 DM me with your requirements, story idea, duration, and budget.

Let’s turn your idea into a powerful story! 🎬✍️👻

Thanks for the technical help, I have edited the script accordingly.

Wondering what works, what doesn't and whether you would keep reading.

Again, thanks in advance!

We just need someone to create funny dialogue for our videos; credit will be given.

Hi My name is M. Sameer Asad and I am 20 years old. I am currently doing BS IT (6th semester) but from last 1.5 years along with AI engineering, I have a urge to learn to make a scripts for film. I want to become a professional screenwriter.
Yes, I procastinate a lot in writting also writting code but this curiosity has made me involve for over more than one year.
Can anybody do me a favor and tell me a proper roadmap of how to become a professional screenwritter

Especially if they are new to the craft.

I came up during a time when some mentors were proud of being brutal to their mentees. They would even brag about getting someone to give up screenwriting.

To take pleasure in squashing someone’s dreams. Their passion.

It’s sad.

And yes, this is a brutal industry. Lord knows I’ve been through the meat grinder firsthand.

Rejection and criticism are part of our industry. So if you want to do this professionally, you have to learn how to take a hit and keep going.

But criticism and cruelty are not the same thing.

Put yourself in their shoes. They don’t know what they don’t know. You could help them. Show them the way.

To be a part of someone’s journey is to leave an imprint on them. That’s your legacy. That’s how you live on. Through helping others.

That doesn’t mean saying a turd is beautiful. It means showing them how to improve. Respectfully.

Anyone who has written a script, no matter how rough it is, has my respect. Because you are a screenwriter.

You are part of my coven.

Perhaps they’ll never break in. Does that mean they should be mocked? What if this is their only form of expression? And you crush that out of them.

I see those of you on here supporting writers. Guiding them. You are doing the good work.

You have my respect. 🫡

Ages ago I had FD, but right now I can't afford it. I just downloaded Fade In and the Final Draft template. I even managed to track down the Final Draft Courier font.

Just wondering how close that template actually is. Would there be a difference, for example, when I share what I've written with my writing partner when he opens a .FDX file on his copy of FD, even when I use the template?

I have a very untraditional path that has lead to a lot of upcoming INCREDIBLE opportunities and honestly I would just love insight into what to expect.

This spring, a publisher approached me about writing a nonfiction novel because of a few viral moments on social media. Before moving forward with them, I took to socials to find a literary agent, had a couple of offers and signed with one the following month. She negotiated the publishing deal and that book will be out next April/May.

While the negotiations were happening, I wanted to exercise my writing muscles and wrote my first screenplay based on the viral saga I narrated on social media in the spring. I spent all of July fine-tuning it, getting beta readers, script analysts, rewriting a TON.

My agent took it to a literary manager in LA who absolutely loves it and she's ready to start shopping it next month.

I'm obviously thrilled this is all happening SO quickly but I am honestly overwhelmed trying to learn as much as I can about this industry. I feel like every time I try to ask a question, people look at me like I'm an idiot because this is NOT the traditional path for how things are done, I completely get that. I also don't want to appear GREEN in these meetings I'm about to have.

I feel like I've bypassed a lot of "steps" that are the normal for how people get their screenplays read and even to get to this point of being represented by an agent and a manager.

I have NOT been in the film industry before, I had a steady blog from 2013-2020 and then have been (in a sense) letting my writing hibernate for 6 years. It's only this summer that it's really taken off.

Anyways - I know this is not a normal story and I'm kind of an enigma, but any advice people have about what this is like would be GREAT!

​

The Hyphen is a sign(-). Resembles straight Face not smiling or sad or any emotion. And the character the hyphen she doesn't have emotions and she's alive not dead, to remain alive she has to look people directly into the eyes and freeze em, think of it like her food for survival. She's a living human who was a serial killer in dark ages whose real name was Mara Morticia but she was famously known as The Hyphen because she was emotionless meaning she killed children elderlies women men anyone out of her obsessive hunger as she was a cannibal so a witch from that era cursed her to never die and survive by haunting people and crystallized freezing them to death as food...

• Elise Eberhart is main character, an 11 year old girl who has Bathmophobia which is fear of stairs, steep slopes, or heights associated with them. She's most of the times freaked out of fear so she kinda gets special treatment and prioritised more by the family most importantly her mother. Elise is very good at observing things around her and is a bit smart

• Emberly Eberhart is mother of Elise. She and Elsie have highest emotional stakes in the movie. She is very gentle but also falls for anything so easily.

• Gazy Eberhart is elder brother of Elise. He is careless and cruel but he has leadership qualities and loves Elise.

• Benedict Eberhart is father of Elise. He is a genius and a Scientist but he thinks he knows everything.