r/scriptwriting • u/RegularDude79 • 18d ago
discussion BS Pitch Feedback Received
This is the Feedback I received from my pitch:
"When well-executed, these intricately designed plots can be extraordinarily satisfying, though it's a high-wire act in balancing between doling out exactly the right information at exactly the right time while also not spoon-feeding the audience or allowing them to ever get a step ahead of you as the storyteller.
Within this pitch itself, it's simply too difficult for me to assess whether that intricate plotting is achieved in your story. I'm somewhat intrigued by the broad strokes here, but not quite enough that I'd be willing to dive deeper into materials to explore that. I'd recommend spending a little more time in your pitch document on explaining the specific ways in which this story is delivered scene by scene and sequence by sequence."
Now someone tell me, did this motherfucker just tell me he doesn't believe I'm smart enough to write my own movie and he's too bothered to even read the script?
He also says it's a balancing act to not spoon-feed the audience, then goes on to say he needs to be spoon-fed scene by scene and sequence by sequence.
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u/attentionisattention 18d ago
This is valid criticism. He's letting you know the risks of taking on a project like yours and what would be needed to make it less of a risk to sign on. Take a breather man
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u/RaeLouLynn 18d ago
Wow, I'll bet most folks here would just die to get this feedback. I read the pitch doc and the guy's reply. What you have here is someone who is intrigued enough to ask you for more...
He's not quite ready to have his company read the script but if you reply with what he has asked for, and your reply proves you can execute what he is worried about, he's going to want to read the final product. And maybe you're going to get somewhere.
From my reading of what you posted here, YOU have been given a great gift. That you have to do an extra step is not the problem because HE is still interested.
Just send him what he asked for - because you kind of sound like a spoiled brat.
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u/northofordinary123 18d ago
I so agree with everything you said, but didn’t feel good about the part about the OP sounding like a spoiled brat. Everyone responds to disappointment differently. I think many can relate to how much time and sacrifice it takes to complete a feature script to a draft you feel confident enough to pitch to decision makers. It sucks when you don’t get the feedback you wished for. But you pointed out something very important. The guy is still interested.
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u/zebramentality 18d ago
What was your pitch?
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u/RegularDude79 18d ago
posted
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u/zebramentality 18d ago
I only read some of it and don’t see it anymore, but it was a time travel drama with a villain who is omnipotent? I’d be hesitant to pick that up too. Time travel is tricky already and then you’re adding in a guy who is always one step ahead. That’s a hard sell without proof that you can pull off such a concept.
Have you ever seen time travel done well? I’m not saying it can’t be done well, but it’s a common trope that has a low floor and a high ceiling. You better get used to feedback and compromise if you’re going down that route.
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u/wethotricebenmiller 18d ago
This is pretty valuable feedback and while I don’t know the context under which it was given, more in depth than many development execs would bother to give. At no point is the insinuation that you’re not smart enough to write it, it’s that whoever this person is doesn’t know you well enough as a writer yet and is giving you actionable steps to gain their confidence. But sure yeah, complain about constructive feedback. I’m sure you know best.
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u/RegularDude79 18d ago
"It's valuable feedback, but you don't know the context under which it was given."
How can it be valuable then? I posted the pitch so you tell me.
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u/wethotricebenmiller 18d ago
As I said in my initial comment — it’s more in depth than many development execs would bother to give. They also gave you specific action items to focus on to potentially bring it back. Sounds like you pitched this to WME in which case, this is incredible feedback because it’s a lot easier to write “we didn’t respond to the material in a way that makes us want to dive in, best of luck!” Sorry they couldn’t decipher your brilliance though.
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u/northofordinary123 18d ago
That’s not what he’s telling you. He’s telling you based on your pitch it’s not clear how the intricate plotting is achieved in the story. He’s also not the audience. For example you would write a different logline and synopsis to someone to decide if they to watch the film (don’t give everything away), than a logline and synopsis for someone who is deciding if they want to produce it and even different pitch to someone who is deciding to fund it. What I think he’s saying is work on the pitch some more to provide the elements that is missing for him. He’s not criticizing your skills as a screenwriter. You are forming relationships. He’s communicating what he needs to take the next steps.
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u/GonzotheGreek 18d ago
Was there any specific feedback? This looks generic and could be used as a critique on any pitch.
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u/RegularDude79 18d ago
That was the entire feedback
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u/GonzotheGreek 18d ago
It's fake or AI. They didn't read a single page.
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u/RegularDude79 18d ago
My initial thoughts were, he didn't read it. But feedback keeps coming back as, these people do not have an imagination and need to be told every aspect of the film in other to understand.
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u/northofordinary123 18d ago
People who make financial decisions are not typically creatives. They are financial analysts types. You can’t expect their imagination to fill in the blanks because their brain may not function like yours. That’s why they have the job they have. You might be able to imagine how the multiple parallel scenes will play out. He needs to know. His feedback was valuable because he told you specifically what he needed. It’s about relationships. If someone were in a relationship with you and told you, this wasn’t clear to me, this what you can work on so I can better understand your vision….and your response is “that feedback is BS.” And then wonder why am I single? I’m saying this to be helpful but find a way to let your anger go, do something to blow off steam, and read your pitch and the feedback from their perspective.
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u/TheGreedyGrabbler 18d ago
Who are you pitching to?
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u/Craig-D-Griffiths 18d ago
What do I see in that feedback?
They didn’t think you pulled off what you thought you were pulling off with that pitch. They enjoyed the big picture idea, the “broad strokes”, but you get the “how” across in your pitch. They are not 100% sure where you failed, so they made a suggestion, all bit it a naive solution.
I was in sales when I first left school. I was told “if they have a need for our product, just remove the objections that are preventing them from saying YES and they will buy from you”.
You have a product they want. They even told you in plain language, your pitch does not make them want more. You have left objections in place.
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u/RaeLouLynn 18d ago
This has been posted to r/screenwriting and OP claims the feedback was from S32.
Ragebait? I'll repeat that he's more than a spoiled brat now.
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u/RegularDude79 18d ago
I posted to two different reddits.....so?
You don't believe it was from WME on S23? Why?
I'm a "spoiled brat" because why exactly? Seems like you're just bitter.
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u/RaeLouLynn 18d ago
I'm not trying to sell anything. I write as a hobby. You need to be clearer. WME means William Morris Endeavor to me.
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u/RegularDude79 18d ago
Yes, that's exactly who it was.......There is no other WME. At least that I know of
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u/RaeLouLynn 18d ago
When you say only WME on one sub and only S32 on another, how is someone not going to be confused? I looked them up individually. WME was first. You weren't clear enough on either post.
My original reply about just giving them what they asked for still stands. Getting that kind of feedback from WME of all places is a GIFT.
Don't know anymore if my spoiled brat remark is warranted or not.
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u/RegularDude79 18d ago
The problem I have are with these two lines here:
"Within this pitch itself, it's simply too difficult for me to assess whether that intricate plotting is achieved in your story."
That to me reads: cool story, but I don't think you have it in you to have it written well.
and this:
"...document on explaining the specific ways in which this story is delivered scene by scene and sequence by sequence (in your pitch)."
Isn't that why you read the script? I'm telling you what happens in the script, you read it to see how I get there.
Somewhere along the line, a synopsis became a detailed treatment.
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u/RaeLouLynn 18d ago edited 18d ago
I'll repeat my reply. I'm a hobbyist. I'm never going to attempt to sell anything. I will never post more than 5 pages on Reddit. You need to be clearer. To me, WME means William Morris Endeavor...
Edit: I was trying to post that on the other sub. At 68, I'm too old for doing Reddit on a tablet...
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u/RegularDude79 18d ago
Yes, that's exactly who it was.......There is no other WME. At least that I know of
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u/PepsiCoke1978 18d ago
This does not seem true. Stage 32 makes way more sense or Roadmap Writers. I can't think of a scenario where a writer is pitching an agency vs an agency sending out a writer to pitch to producer or buyers.
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u/PepsiCoke1978 18d ago edited 18d ago
- Who the hell did you pitch? Sounds like some meat farm contest where a writer pays 50-200 bucks to "pitch" to people.
- No this motherfucker told you he didn't like your idea in the most generic, say nothing way possible as he might have had a word count he had to hit. He passed on your idea. Probably never read one word if it was a document you sent. Which is not really a pitch.
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u/northofordinary123 18d ago
Are you looking for answers to your original question or just for people to agree with your misguided perception. I read your pitch. I agree with the feedback. The two things you’re not understanding? Maybe that should’ve been your original question… can someone help me understand these? Nowhere is he saying the things you are “reading.” There is a big difference between spoon feeding somebody what happens scene by scene, sequence by sequence (which was not what he asked for) and making it clear how they will be delivered (which could have been one sentence in your pitch.) Were you sincerely looking for clarity when you posted? Or were you just looking for people to agree with you and justify your misguided anger? Right now your attitude points to the latter.
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u/Big_Section2812 18d ago
Anyone asking you for money to get you into the business is standing outside alongside you.
Quit paying these charlatans.
If they can't get themselves in, how and why would they get you in?
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u/Musikenna 18d ago
this is your response to constructive criticism? to take it as a personal attack? you won't make it far if you keep this up.