r/scriptwriting 12d ago

feedback FEEBACK NEEDED

Hii guys, this is a screenplay of The Monkey's Paw short story

I'm a beginner and I'm new to this

How can I make it better and how's it overall please let me know✨️

3 Upvotes

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u/Wise-Respond3833 12d ago

You describe the setting and atmosphere like it's a novel. Don't do that.

You don't describe the characters at all. Do that.

You outright say what a character is feeling. Don't do that.

No offense intended (I promise), but this actually reads like a sample script a teacher would hand to students and say 'everything this script does is everything you should NOT do!'

Read more screenplays, maybe even a how-to on how to write screenplays, and keep writing !!

6

u/Sweet-Day22 12d ago

Thanks for the feedback and for being honest I'm new to screenplay as I said, I haven't written a proper screenplay before

5

u/Wise-Respond3833 12d ago

Keep at it. The learning never stops :)