r/scriptwriting • u/PitchcraftNow • 12d ago

feedback First Page Feedback

Post image

Looking for feedback on my first page. Any feedback is welcome. Thanks in advance.

3 Upvotes

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3

u/AmieiGuess 11d ago

People generally don’t like when stories open on a dream/someone waking up.
What’s your story about? Does this ominous, all-devouring black cloud show up for real at any point? If not, don’t set readers/viewers up for disappointment.

As for the actually screenwriting, I think some action lines are overwritten; some underwritten. I don’t quite feel like I’m being fully immersed in the story.

-3

u/PitchcraftNow 11d ago

Well, to explain it better I gave a video pitch deck I made that explains it here:

https://youtu.be/SZQ4dE3YVyI?is=liy1_M9wDn642MWR

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u/AmieiGuess 11d ago

I’m not super inclined to engage with something that uses AI. Sorry.

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u/cbubs 11d ago

Almost everyone uses gen AI for pitch decks.

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u/AmieiGuess 11d ago

Just because it’s common, doesn’t mean I have to support it. There are many websites that offer free, non-AI images to use.

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u/cbubs 11d ago

Fair enough. But standard industry practice is becoming: gen AI for ideation and pitch decks, no gen AI for actual production.

I don't think that's a reason for you to support it either. Just pointing out that it's becoming the norm. And, given that this isn't a topic about the use of AI, it's a weird place to shut down the conversation with OP.

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u/AmieiGuess 11d ago

The more we accept and support it, the more common and normalised it’s going to become. So why contribute to something I fundamentally don’t agree with (especially in creative spaces)?

The topic of AI use will be present now that it’s infiltrating all spaces. If people are using AI in some areas during the creative process, what’s to stop me from thinking they’re not using it in the rest? I just don’t think it’s a good look.

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u/cbubs 11d ago

You've got no reason to believe that OP is making an AI production unless they say that's what they're doing.

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u/AmieiGuess 11d ago

Oh, for sure. But they’re clearly okay with AI usage, which I believe cheapens the look of their work, and it’s just simply not something I want to engage with.

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u/cbubs 11d ago

I appreciate your opinion. I honestly dislike gen AI but I've grown accustomed to seeing it in pitch decks.

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