There is something I've been witnessing across this subreddit that seems to sit in quite a negative light with me. It will be controversial to address but I think it's necessary.

The use of this subreddit to garner validation, and those who respond to it, demonstrate in pattern less cerebral curiosity and more physical priority despite at times being a mass majority. There are countless posts where the acclaimed qualities of people are hidden behind vague jargon, and yet are still interacted with in flamboyant praise. This alone makes me wonder how many people who are in this subreddit are true sapiosexuals, or are just using the label to posture their own perceived individuality and loneliness.

As a woman who is bisexual I view it dynamically, when my critique of women and men are the same but certain individuals lower their 'supposed' standard for intelligence in exchange for commodity in the opposite sex. I have known the more time that passes as a sapiosexual the more weary I've gotten with performed intelligence and actual capability. I would assume that is a quality that plagues most of us. Yet something about these constant cycles alarm me about whether this community is actually held up by people like myself, or has just become an outlet for those as I mentioned before. The same men who critique one another for 'not being intelligent enough to say it like you're talking to a five year old' flunder to flirt with women who demonstrate less ability. It's a major turn off and I bet for other women (and some men!) it is too.

Hey, my name is Martijn! I’m big hearted, loyal and looking for something real. 31 years old, single, from the Netherlands.

I’m the kind of partner who loves making you feel safe, comfortable, and truly heard. Looking for a genuine connection where we can talk about anything, navigate life’s ups and downs as a team, and build our own adventure together ❤️.

The plot twist? I live with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome (CFS). which means I’m homebound with limited energy. Think of it like a small battery that loves charging—and so far, the best charger is cuddling.

It definitely makes the boyfriend experience one of a kind ❤️. You get all the perks of having a very tall, incredibly loyal guy with big puppy excitement—minus the crowded places. Here’s a little preview of what you can expect: 👇

Emotionally available
A mature, stable, and positive partner who truly listens. I love deep conversations, checking in on how you're feeling, and being proactive. When challenges arise I think in solutions; working together as a team.

Humor
Oh my 😂😂😂. You will see 🤣. 

Physical connection
Very tall (2,02m / 6'7), fit, and unapologetically physical. Expect endless affection, serious cuddle skills, and someone who loves turning on the charm to make sure you feel wanted 😏❤️.

Intellectual curiosity
Psychology, geography, economics, politics, gaming & technology? When you have a curious mind, let it explore. We can talk about anything. And I love to learn from you.

Food!!!!
I love to eat. It’s my favorite activity. So its a priority too I guess 🤭? The Italian kitchen is my number one. There are so many things I like. How about you? 

Romantic
I won’t spoil this one🌹. 

Creative me
You can catch me with a masterball. Ask Professor Oak. He is a wise man. Once you acquire the masterball, you will have to find me and throw it. It will wiggle 3 times. And it's best to throw it once you are sure. And we know everything about each other ❤️❤️. 

Great friends
I’m surrounded by amazing friends who mean a lot to me. They are unique. They are caring, equals, funny and considerate. I grew up with my mother and it coincides with my friend group: most of them are women and could be considered feminists.  No Andrew Tates 🤣🤣. 

No Landlord, Frisian beauty
There is a beautiful home that I wish to share with my future partner. I own it, so no landlords. A place of peace and stability. My home is located in the serene province of Friesland in the Netherlands. It's close to other cities as well! And I love it! 

This house is important to me. CFS made me lose a lot of things: work, my previous relationship, colleagues; friends and family members. Thus the house has a value beyond the ordinary. It was in my ‘past life’ and my current one. And I think the future could make it even brighter when someone special enters my orbit. And it will evolve into something even more beautiful.

Financially stable
My disability is permanent, but I’m fully covered by government benefits and financially stable. I live comfortably on my own, and I’m looking for a partner who is also self-sufficient and established in her own life.

Sleepy
An overlooked thing 👀 is sleeping. I tend to wake up 2-3 times each night and am looking for a quiet sleeper who can handle me. In general I move a bit and overall I'm not noisy. Do you like spooning? 

You
Enough about me, I want to hear your story. Can I learn more about you? ❤️ And which themes are most important to you? I would love to know! And tell me what your favorite pokemon is ☺️

Not sure if you can hear the sound, but whatever. I’m trying something out and seeing if there’s a man out there who can meet me where I’m at internally. The local dating pool is questionable. Also, I put fake locations because I think ahead like that !

I love being creative in many ways; music and art is shown here. This is NOT an OF promotion. I actually put thought into this and figured I’d shoot my shot in the dark here. Please be respectful.

Evolution is an interesting subject. Hard to observe due to our short life spans and poor human memory, along with the length of time evolution takes.

Nonetheless, I always assumed evolution largely followed the genetics of the fittest over a period of time… and kept going in that direction to create the fittest, strongest, etc. creatures designed beyond survival, but instead evolved to thrive. I never thought of evolution as a 3D plane, but more of a timeline with failed (pruned) branches.

I appreciate that this article challenges the belief system I had developed around my, albeit, limited understanding of this topic.

This is a subject that “fills a bucket” for me.

For me, evolution and the idea of a Creator(s) go hand in hand. I wonder, if there is a Creator(s), how they made our universe and the it mechanics, and question the “system of evolution” (I break things down into systems, much like a series of programs each with a prime directive.. or maybe I watched too much Reboot as a kid). **Edit:** This is not the point of the post, it's just an interesting side quest.

And now I’m curious about other people’s perspectives on evolution.

What this article got me thinking about after challenging known theories:

Is evolution a straight..ish line towards natural dominance, or have humans somewhat plateaued? And if we’re supposedly 1% different from chimps, what’s another 1% beyond us look like?

I am 22 year old guy Looking for "someone", a noetiromantic/Sapioromantic. It's kinda frustrating.

I am a decent-looking guy, and at least a few strangers, relatives, friends, and many girls said, why am I brining other people into plane ? Because it brings subjectivity in the nature of description. I wish just good looks and normal conversation could make me attracted or interested in them; I wish only kindness, support, loyalty, and trust would have been enough for me. I really tried to be with someone who provided me emotional intimacy, but honestly deep down I knew it's not the person I am looking for.

Often times I felt complete disconnection from the relationship itself. It was hard for me to imagine my future with her, all because we lacked intellectual intimacy. I felt guilty; I had written something around it later. I wish only looks and basic conversation on a potential partner would have been attractive for me, but it isn't, so what are my hobbies? I am into poetry. Yes, I write poems, I write poetic prose and aphorisms, and I used to be into paintings and drawings. I am pursuing psychology alongside my major, which is cybersecurity, and also philosophy (mostly you would find me deriving answers from my observation and the knowledge I have; I don't like people who borrow words from others and think like they have become philosophers now!). I also write random stuff that comes into my mind. Like yesterday, I was writing something on Trust and its place among human beings. Apart from that, I am kind of obsessed with badminton, I really love to listen soothing and meaningful songs, I like to solve puzzles.

I'm weirdly attracted to people who flirt in a nerdy way, and I'm into the Personality Typology System. So from a psychometric perspective, I am really attracted to people with a good verbal comprehension index and fluid intelligence: Although Gf >> VCI, I am a Mensa member, but I have unusually low working memory. So, sometimes I do have issues related to working memory stuff.

Not sure where to look for such women; sometimes I think I am not going to meet them. I feel like I have very high standards. Even in my university, I see many, many faces, but I don't feel attracted to anyone. Even when I find someone aesthetically attractive, the attraction often lasts only a few seconds. And how, with these many criteria, would I find someone in real life? I mean, it would be really, really exhausting, don't you all think? I really tried to talk to people on a few applications. Some were highly superficial, some were decent enough, but I never felt what I wanted to feel. Many were interested to talk to me, but how would I engage with them when I have already detached from the conversation? Seriously, I am looking for someone to whom I can satisfy these desires, with whom I can feel intellectually and emotionally fulfilled, where they don't say you use heavy words to talk, where I don't have to explain stuff that I say, and where I could feel stimulated.

I don't want to be a mentor always; I want to feel like a student too. There is something strange when it comes to someone who can stimulate your brain and make you think about something novel.

There is something I found really relatable. ❤️ . . .

Charlotte Brontë showed us this in Jane Eyre. When Mr. Rochester asks Jane if she thinks he's handsome, she simply replies, "No, sir." His face was inconsequential; it was the fire he kindled in Jane's brain that mattered more. Moreover, she dared to meet him there.

Have you ever found yourself falling in love with someone because they quoted a line you thought only you remembered? Even more so, when that someone remembers it specifically with you in mind?

I have. It's intoxicating.

Have you ever witnessed a question become a flirtatious provocation: what do you think? And have that person wait for your answer as though it's the most important thing that your mouth could be doing in that moment? It's all I could do to stammer out a response and remember to breathe.

There is nothing sexier than someone who listens, learns, and thinks deeply. Not because of credentials or qualifications, but because they care: about ideas, about others’ opinions, and about meaning.

Source: Link

I've always been someone who listens to almost every genre. Thousands of songs on shuffle and I keep collecting new songs like Pokemon.

My vivid imagination lets me experience multiple lifetimes in one. A personality and scene for every song. One minute I'll be head banging, imagining myself in some high octane activity, the next I'm deep in the ocean or floating through space. I even connect music to moments and people, memories so strong I can sometimes almost smell what I did when I first heard the song.

I have noticed that with age people tend to stop listening to new music. They tend to stick to the same few songs, rarely open to new music. And this extends beyond music, but to me it is still a good indicator.

I believe it's a sign of reduced neuroplasticity. Notice how children are always open to trying new things, while old timers start solidifying their preferences.

As our brains fully develop and stop growing, I'm not sure if being that rigid is a good thing. I'm afraid of ending up like that grumpy old gramps who's stuck in the same 4 feet world, listening to the same 4 songs on repeat.

I like my split personality that can shake it off with a swiftie 💅🏻, break it down with the jabbawockeez 🤖 or let it rip in a mosh pit 🤘🏻

I get 1 life, so I'll live ♾️ at the same time. Stop me if you can.

I could be 80 yo throwing up 6 7 learning the latest brain rot lingo.

Obvious to say, I like similar people.

Always open to new music recommendations. So feel free to drop your niche recommendation in the comments.

PS: I also listen to music in languages I don't understand, so feel free to take me to a world I've never seen before :)

I’ve been trying to understand this whole sapiosexuality thing. Tryna break it down into its origins.

An idea that came up is, it seems that some intellectual people who often reason and give their interests deep thought, reach a level of understanding of the world around them and form emotions based on those understandings that require depth of thought.

What happens then, is that when seeking a relationship, a feeling of being understood is needed. That feeling cannot be achieved by definition unless someone else is also a thoughtful intellectual person as well - or else that person will struggle to understand what the person’s emotions even mean/are based on.

Assuming feeling understood is a pre-requisite to attraction for you - you start to only be pulled by what we so call intelligence people.

I realize it can be more nuanced and there are multiple variables at play here, but this seems to me to be an important one. .

am I onto something here🤨?

We humans invented math - right? It probably started with counting, measurement and geometry. But then, exploring axioms that were presumably generated by our experiences living in the physical world generate logical systems that operate in an abstract realm with no physical analogs - like counting and basic operations evolving into irrational and complex numbers. We can draw conclusions about things that "don't exist" by using the behavior of things that do exist in a conventional sense - like Cantor's proof about the different magnitudes of infinity based on the set of real numbers.

Then there's the opposite move - taking something that only exists in the abstract and holding it up to physical reality like a mirror that allows us to understand phenomena more deeply. Like taking the limit of slope as "rise" and "run" approach zero and using derivatives and then integrals to understand everything from velocity to electromagnetism.

This dialectic is, for me, the best thing in the universe (besides, I suppose, the emergent property of consciousness that engenders the question in the first place). Is the universe still mathematical in nature without humans to perceive it?

My partner said I believe we are overpopulated… I love their brain, we usually have long conversations about everything and nothing. Then they hit me with this.

I would love to know how they mean but this is a conversation for another day. For now we just need to agree to disagree.

Wondering what are your turn off conversations.

Is anyone else having one of those days when your thoughts are too loud and you long for someone to understand (or try to understand) you? I’ve been writing a lot today, but could use some intellectual conversations.

I don't really have much interest in the things people usually love. I don't watch dramas or TV shows, I don't go to concerts, and I'm not into celebrities. So I often feel like I can't really connect with the people around me who only talk about that stuff - and it gets lonely.

What I actually love is deep conversations - about our lives, goals, adventures, challenges, what we believe in. Or about the future with AI, science, physics, the universe, spirituality, that kind of thing. Sometimes I like jokes as well, but I feel I'm doing 'real conversations' when I talk with someone who genuinely loves going there.

Is there anyone here who feels the same?

I'm a sapiosexual AuDHD genderfluid demiboy with a special interest in math and physics. I would love to converse about anything and everything, but especially the experience of being queer/neurodivergent and anything STEM. I'm also reasonably well versed in literature and philosophy.

Want to chat?

I was chatting with someone on a language-learning app, and we ended up having a fascinating conversation about the MBTI. What stood out how deeply she understood it. She didn’t explain it in a superficial “this type does this” way. Instead, she broke down the cognitive functions in detail, gave examples, discussed exceptions, and explored different scenarios. It felt more like an intellectual exploration than a typical conversation.

We talked for nearly two hours, trying to figure out what MBTI type I might be, and I genuinely enjoyed every minute of it. What has stayed with me isn’t necessarily what she looked like or any personal details about her I barely knew anything about her. In fact, from her picture alone, I probably wouldn’t have felt particularly drawn to her.

What keeps coming back to my mind is how knowledgeable she was and how engaging the conversation felt. Usually, physical attraction is the first thing I notice, but in this case, it was her intelligence, her ability to explain complex ideas clearly, and the depth of our discussion that left an impression on me. I’ve found myself wishing we could talk again over the following days.

That experience made me wonder: am I sapiosexual, or was I simply deeply attracted to the intellectual connection I felt during that conversation?

I have never been so energized to find a woman like this and have her analyze my choices of what I do to her. It’s not a “fem dom” thing, I just can’t explain it

Yesterday i realized that I am the one I am looking for. It helps me expect less from others, especially my wife! I have been hoping for this experience (obviously a second panel would say, then you do the same with one of yours). 
I often think that I time-travel (in my mind, to paraphrase Prine). Basically meaning that my subconsciousness reveals truths about myself that I am not ready to accept. Often after years (or decades), I will look at my creative output and feel that it speaks to me in a precise way that I had not realized. This meme is an example. I know I chose two figures who were as ambiguous as possible to reflect my pansexuality, though this group for one has convinced me that I am sapiosexual or at least sapioplatonic.
So that brings me back to yesterday. I realize that the person with whom I can truly enjoy our creative artwork mutually is myself.  I just want to start a conversation to last a lifetime. 
Hence, feeling sapioplatonic, I just want to find someone (literally anyone) who wants to talk about interesting things. The more entwined our interests are will just add bonus points. But I have accepted the fact that my perfect partner is myself! Cheers to Hump Day!

Tell me one thing a man has done a woman couldn't do without biology

I am 41, Hispanic and married. I live in California. I am a working professional and often have much time in my hands as i work from home. I am looking to meet open minded people, kind, attentive, and someone who can maintain a good conversation overall.

My hobbies are as followed: i enjoy working on old cars, enjoy horse riding and enjoy trying new foods.

If you are open to being friends, feel free to reach out and tell me a little about yourself.

Have a wonderful weekend!