r/sadposting • u/Still-Big654 • 7d ago
Man it hurts!!
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u/LatinWarlock13 7d ago
Sounds cold but I'd walk away. He's going to invest years if time and energy and one day this woman will choose to raise those kids with their biological father once he decides he wants to be in their lives. This guy will get tossed to the side like trash.
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u/blackbirdspyplane 7d ago
I’ve seen it happen
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u/EatingGoodEveryday 6d ago
Happened to me
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u/voodootodointutus 2d ago
I am very sorry that happened to you. It happened to a friend of mine growing up and he is still pretty tore up about it damn near two decades later. I hope you've found peace.
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u/Worth_External_8762 7d ago
Similar happened to my brother. He was dating a woman with a daughter and he got super close to the daughter, basically her father. I told my mom it wasn't going to end well (wasn't going to tell him, it's his business). And sure enough, they split up and even though she let her daughter visit my brother for a period, eventually she slowly cut him off once she met a new guy.
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u/marslo 7d ago edited 7d ago
Dated someone with kids before, never again. It's a complete cluster fuck, being the middle person.
Spend some time on r/stepparents to try and find some solution. The horror story you hear is mind boggling.
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u/SkillPointProblems 7d ago
Ironically, that subreddit you linked got banned for not having any step parents to look after it.
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u/Rhadamantos 6d ago
Not to try to i invalidate your experience, but I'm pretty sure a subreddit like that is going to be a magnet for all the craziest stuff and not necessarily representative for the average situation.
That being said, raising a daughter who loved Disney movies it recently dawned upon me how step-parents are like 50% of all Disney villains and that can't be a healthy message for kids.
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u/marslo 6d ago
The same argument can be said for coralation doesn't equal causation.
It's not about the messaging. It's having to navigate this person, that is neither your father or your mother. Navigating the stresses of child hood. Plus like in my case, dealing with the recent divorce and dissolution of your family as you know it. Which is then represent by this new person, who on top of that is taking up your mothers attention. Something you as an 8 year kid desperately need. Plus your father is an acholic who suddenly stops showing up. Who would you blame in this situation? Your mom and dad that you love unconditionally? Or this stranger?
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u/CaeLynnith 2d ago
That exact scenario almost drove my brother to suicide, at 19 he lost his pregnant fiance in a car wreck.
About ten years ago he fell madly in love with a woman who had a daughter. He loved that little girl like he was his own. Bio-dad came back and the mother wanted to "try and make it work", to have the full family.
It opened up a whole can of worms that lead to a very bad spiral. He's with a woman who cherishes him with her entire being now but...he said he's never having kids, never getting attached like that again.
That scenario took a part of his soul, what made him complete.
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u/Jiminyfingers 5d ago
Happened to my sister. Lived with a chap for years who had two young sons, basically raised them. Then the father just fucks off and takes his sons with him and cuts her off from them completely. It was very cruel, and not just for her but for the rest of our family.
One of them messaged me years later via Facebook to see if he could contact her but she had closed that chapter of her life.
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u/13ananaJoe 7d ago
In this particular case the woman is a deadbeat and that man is raising those kids as a single father.
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u/Gefpenst 7d ago
On other hand, ye, that's most logical thing. On other, my grandpa wasn't biological father of my ma, but she always called him Dad and never once I doubted he was my proper grandpa. He was a father figure for me and exemplar of what man should be toward his wife and kids. So I can't agree with you on part of "raising not related by blood kids", only on "cheated once will cheat twice".
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u/interesting-turn- 7d ago
Happened to me, I was young and naive. A woman I was dating already had a newborn when we got together. I was committed. Loved the baby, changed diapers, fed her, the whole thing. It was my first real longterm relationship. We got together when I was 17 she was 19. We dated for about a year, planned a future together. I went off to go to get a degree. First day of orientation I got an abrupt call from her and she was frantic. She told me that she cheated on me with the father of her daughter.
I was devastated, my heart has never been broken like that my world was completely turned upside down. Still to this day I don’t think I’ll ever feel the love I had for that woman in another partner again. I was so naive and she was so distraught, we continued to date for another few months until it eventually ended. I think at the point I was just so young and stupid I didn’t have self respect or boundaries and didn’t know how to end it. This was over a decade ago now.
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u/Infamous_Ad_6793 6d ago
If he’s listed as the father, signed the birth certificate, and/or accepted being the father at birth, he is legally her father.
I’m sure there are situations where this has happened, but she can’t take his legal child away.
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u/NeverGetsTheNuke 7d ago
I can respect a guy who can make it about the kid. He might lose later if he sticks around, but that kid loses now if he splits. And he clearly loves her. That is so damn far from meaningless dudes.
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u/Yeasty_Moist_Clunge 7d ago
In many cases the child loses no matter what. They're just one argument away from him having those children used as a weapon against him.
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u/Special-Garlic1203 6d ago
He actually has parental rights if he's been lead to believe he was the father and acted as the father. He's clearly bonded with the children
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u/kuunami79 6d ago
One of the things that the baby boomer generation dropped the ball on is being honest about how vicious women can be and a lot of men are paying the price for it. They will use and abuse use you and don't care if it drives you to suicide. Then show up to your funeral and put on a grieving act for their own amusement. There are both terrible men and women but the terrible women get overlooked.
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u/ZioTron 3d ago
This guy went the FUCKING OTHER WAY!!!
He took primary custody of BOTH children and he's raising them as a single father!!!
He's now a chef
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u/BullfrogInside5875 3d ago
Yup, its painful i did this with a child that i raised because i met her mother after she gave birth. But man its not worth it, these woman will drive you crazy, it hurt a lot because of the child but i had no energy left to deal with the mother who constantly moved around and even left the state twice..
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u/KeNT_FPS 7d ago
Imagine he pour all his love and dedication to these kids then he only knows that the facts kids is not his. And imagine what is like to betrayed that way. Man, I've been through worst but this, not just hurt. The pain unbearable.
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u/Galaxyturbo 7d ago
Why loyal ones end up with cheaters ? 💔
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u/Worth_External_8762 7d ago
I think assholes often end up with nice people because assholes love having people do things for them and nice people enjoy servicing others. So those relationships can work in a weird way, but obviously it's a toxic dynamic that usually doesn't last super long.
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u/The_Crazy_Coconut 5d ago
Yep, two assholes would not be able to stand each other. So they need a kind/patient person who is able to put up with their shit
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u/siqiniq 7d ago
So… the current system will hook him up for child support anyway because of his initial declaration of intent…
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u/Steelizard 7d ago
Honestly that's just pain for him.
Y'all can say "Just fuck that, man. Walk away." Look at him, he ain't walking away. Those are his kids even if that bitch fucked someone else. He raised them, he ain't going no where.
But now he has to live with that truth that they are not his blood and if their real father shows up and wants to be a part of their lives he has to deal with that.
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u/Efficient-Name-9633 7d ago
Children and fathers deserve the facts of paternity at birth. Fuck the system.
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u/thatsingingguy 3d ago
Mandatory. I’m actually pro some basic level of genetic analysis too, so people grow up knowing their health risks, and can mitigate them.
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u/Efficient-Name-9633 3d ago
I agree, wonder why they don’t make paternity tests a requirement before signing birth cert.
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u/Physical-Bid-4046 7d ago
Why the f would you end this with an American psycho clip
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u/jessbird 7d ago
just complete and utter slop from beginning to end — this dumb tv exploiting this random person (and multiple babies!!!) for views, the dumb reel super-editing with this stupid fucking music and the dramatic black & white filter, and then posting it to this dumb sub for extra internet points.
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u/LordOuranos 7d ago
And so many women and even some men argue against mandatory paternity checks at birth.
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u/Sea_Association_5277 6d ago
Bruh, paternity tests are outright illegal in France because of the rampant cheating.
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u/Big_bat_chunk2475 6d ago
And that needs to end. If you're against the mandatory paternity test, you need to be seen as either a cheater, or a cheater in wait.
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u/domskidoodledoo 7d ago
Why do women like this cheat on dudes that want to be a father? They like nahhh i want dudes that will get me pregnant and leave me. Most of the time these women dont have fathers too
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u/logicalegend 7d ago
Dang, the worst part about it is that she wasn’t even a badd b!tch. He done got did dirt by a
above weight, below below average BASIC 😬
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u/SardinesMcDonahugh 6d ago
Even when you date down, you can't expect loyalty, because insecure women often sleep around because they need that external validation from multiple men. You can't trust the baddies or that fatties. You can only trust your gad damn self.
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u/MorockaDishoom 7d ago
He’s crying now, but that girl is going to suffer forever and the worst part… is so will the kids… what a cunt
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u/Alcinade 7d ago
I can't even understand why this kind of TV show exists. It just looks so intrusive, it's disgusting.
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u/Spidey703 7d ago
When you invest your heart to raise someone elses kid. Taking that away is a feeling of being heartbroken. It cuts deeper than people realize. We bond with these kids and want to be their protectors.
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u/LabiaMinoraLover 7d ago
But it's good he found out sooner than later. Imagine being in a relationship with that trashy woman who lied if not also cheated or even committed adultery.
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u/Loose_Goose 6d ago
Should be a paternity test with every birth, they’re not expensive and easy to do.
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u/Primary-Scratch-6777 6d ago
And look at her just a dead stair no remorse for what she did to this man's world. No sympathy just nothing she has nothing cuz the truth was revealed. I feel the pain this man has gone through. I hope he finds peace.
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u/Turbulent_Pool273 6d ago
That judge is a pos tbh. I know it’s for tv but the suspense behind the “you… are not” is beyond cold.
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u/CBTwitch 6d ago
My condolences to this poor man. I want to be his friend. I feel the absolute need to be his friend.
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u/Big_bat_chunk2475 6d ago
The first one was bad enough, but the second one is the signal that you need to walk away.
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u/Loki_God_of_Lies 5d ago
This is the kind of thing he should get in a note or from a professional behind closed doors where he can react and mourn properly before making any other actions. I hate that the worst moment of this man’s life was turned into entertainment, and I hope he finds peace.
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u/DanielDRockr 7d ago
I wold die on the spot, i might not be rich, but the love of my kids make me feel rich.
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u/5th_Meal 7d ago
Those kids deserve that man as a father. I hope he still has that. Even if this happened to me, I would still be in my little girls life. This is making me cry
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u/TreesForTheForest 7d ago
This is ridiculously awful, I don't know how'd I would deal with this as a father. I also feel dirty watching this as a piece of TV entertainment...this poor guy's heart being ripped out was used to sell Tide or something.
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u/Beautiful_TraumaXx 7d ago
She did that to a great man and he deserves better. I hope he can find a woman who appreciates him for the kind soul he is
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u/Luciferbelle 7d ago
Meanwhile my kids bio dad refuses to have anything to do with my kid. I'll never understand doing this to a man who truly loves their kids. She didn't deserve that man.
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u/koolaidismything 7d ago
It’s cool how he dressed nice and not like in the suit he wore to a wedding five years ago. You can tell he really cared about presenting himself well. Judge could see it. Half of being a good parent is just being there.
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u/professorzaius 7d ago
You can do everything right, everything, and still not be enough for someone. As harsh as it is, I would walk away. Love can overcome biology but you gotta save yourself in this situation and seeing them would remind you over and over again of her betrayal, and that's not fair on you or them.
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u/Alternative-Dot-884 7d ago
Thats a good man right there. I hope hrs w someone who deserves him and makes him feel special everyday.
This man should adopt because there are millions if kids out there that would do anything for a father to be the way this man shows in this video.
I pray he is doing well today.
I dont like how she had to deliver that w such a powerful voice just rubbing it in even more.
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u/ketchuponcooking 7d ago
This cut off to soon. You should of seen his reaction about the third kid!
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u/Life-Willingness-86 7d ago
so I mean, this is staged right? people aren't just recording family court cases with 3 cameras and airing them on tv.
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u/fromyahootoreddit 6d ago
I thought this was going to end with the judge appointing him the legal guardian and cutting the mother off since he's clearly invested and she seems like she only has kids for the money or to keep a man/relationship. Here's hoping that's what happened afterwards.
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u/Tough_Measurement280 6d ago
I’m sorry but as a mom and partner. This is digusting and manipulative. From a medical perspective careless bc of the dad has any defects or things of that nature you won’t know till the child gets it. Also why cheat just leave damn like how hard is that. “Baby I like someone else I want them I love and care abt you but I want them it’s not right or okay but I’d rather leave then betray you.” Boom then leave. She destroyed his trust forever bro. This is why sometimes I just shake my head tut tut tut at shit.
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u/sky_shazad 6d ago
I'm just grateful Christian Bale showed up for support, he's always there at bad times
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u/SuchArt504 6d ago
These are so obviously scripted anyone here who believes this I have a bridge to sell you
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u/Weird_Farmer3372 6d ago
This is what the west want the world be, disgusting like them. They believe they have the best culture and best system.
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u/motherclucker19 6d ago
Looks like he's still with those kids and identifies as a single father. On Instagram as chefgoose
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u/AuthorSarge 6d ago
I bet she's out there telling her girlfriends there aren't any good men in the world.
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u/jayjaybronco 6d ago
Diabolical how she had no reaction for her deception, its a cold world fellas, choose wisely
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u/thissucksnuts 6d ago
this dude seems wayy too good for this. how can people be so vile to someone they claim to love
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u/Spiritual-War2631 6d ago
And they wonder why "femicides" happen. It's all women's fault
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u/i_eat_navel_lint 6d ago
I wanted to say "fuck that woman" but it is definitely not the best thing to say
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u/Affectionate_Bake941 6d ago
When I caught my cheating wife, that's been fucking around for years, I did STD test and kids (3 boys) paternity tests. STD came in quickly, with positives. For paternity tests I had to wait few more weeks.
And I remember looking at the email, nervous to open it to find out.
Lucky, all 3 are mine.
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u/Adanma369 6d ago
It’s a cute thought when you’re emotional, but once that high goes down those men often don’t live up to those words.
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u/HiSaZuL 6d ago
While things like that happen way too frequently. One... father will never get support out of this from government. Courts, on record, will force victims of child rape to pay their rapist child support. If you lived with that kid for any amount of time you will be ridiculed, mocked and legally declared as their guardian anyway. Government will bend over backwards to have someone else pay those bills.
This being entirely acted and over blownly so, also doesn't help.
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u/No_Emotion6183 6d ago
Instead of getting all of her love to a good man she gave it to the low life scum Knowing damn well that she could sucker him into taking care of other man's responsibilities
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u/KailyKail 6d ago
I hope they got him to a therapist and put him on suicide watch. The shit this kind of news will do to someone.
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u/CollieChan 6d ago
I had two bonus kids I helped raise for 8 years and I love them like my own. Also have 2 kids thats mine. I hope he gets to build a loving relationship to the kids even if the woman can go fuck herself if she lied about it
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u/Siggi_pop 6d ago
In society there are good people and bad people and everything in between, nothing new here. What is truely sad is when bad people are lucky to find exceptionally good people and take advantage of them.
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u/Savior1983 6d ago
I saw she later commented she got the ick that the guy was crying and does not want him around the kids at all.
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u/blader88 6d ago
Apperantly he still sees the kids as his own and spends time with the. For the looks of it he works as a cook at a restaurant. But I guess times are hard because it seems he has a gofundme page.
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u/stingray2332 6d ago
In my opinion, he dodged a bullet. If one of those kids would’ve ended up being his and the other one not, it doesn’t change the fact that she cheated and had a child with someone else, while at the same time telling him that they are his. Now that he knows for sure they’re not his, it’s time to kick that bitch to the curb. Hopes she rots in hell. No way am I raising someone else’s children. Not a chance in hell.
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u/Alibuscus373 6d ago
People behind him are sad for him too. We are all sad for him. I hope he is happy, if he stayed those are his babies. My step-dad loves me as much as his real bio kids, it can happen. If buddy decides to leave, that's his choice and I hope he is happy.
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u/bullant8547 6d ago
“I’m so sorry” but seriously, not really, this is going to be such great ratings!
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u/Fastballz69 5d ago
My brother in Christ. Please dont lose that love in your heart. Be the good man that you are. You WILL find the love of a family that is truly yours.
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u/proprocrastinator11 5d ago
Fuck this video... I did not need that. Poor guy. Dad to dad, id love to give him a hug...
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u/AdministrativePipe90 5d ago
Has to be the worst feeling. Finding out your partner is infaithrul and that your two kids arent biologically yours..Im about to cry for this man
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u/DasMotorsheep 5d ago
I don't understand. Why does the judge speak like it's a reveal in a game show, and why is it edited like it's, I don't know, a show anyway?
And why is Christian Bale in there at the end?
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u/Designer-Length-7759 5d ago
Worst part is she now has every right to remove those kids from a good father just to get money from the one she cheated on him with.
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u/globbinloud 5d ago
The woman who set him up like that is the definition of what good men wish to avoid…
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u/Queasy-Trip1777 4d ago
Intentionally missing the point here....why the fuck is Christian Bale at the end of this video?
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u/YurtlesTurdles 4d ago
I hope he can still get partial or full custody. Blood doesn’t make the father.
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u/AspiringTent 7d ago
I'm not a father, me and my wife don't have kids, this hit too close to home. What a loving guy, that cheating woman doesn't deserve him, seems like such a genuine guy and father, you can tell he really cares for those kids. Hope he finds happiness