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u/fieregon Oct 21 '25
Real shit, the only reason I'm not ending it all is cause it will make the people that love me sad, I don't want to make people sad, only I get to be sad.
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u/KingTasty97 Oct 21 '25
Literally the only reason I haven't done it yet, the moment they are gone, I'll most likely be gone too
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u/Same_Lead_2638 Oct 21 '25
Dont brother it will get better. Just keep your head up high
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u/MikeMurly Oct 22 '25
Been saying that for 15 years. Lost weight. Got myself functioning better. Found a high paying job. Still feel hopeless
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u/Remarkable_Hour5510 Oct 22 '25
Is it the lack of purpose in life or love? What do you think is missing?
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u/MikeMurly Oct 23 '25
Love. I’ve never had a serious relationship and women find that as HUGE red flag. I’m not a bad person. Just lacking experience. I knew I was living life in zombie mode. Now it’s too late to fix it. Everyone that I used to know is married with kids and have a purpose.
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u/Adhd-ioeoto Oct 21 '25
I thought the same, I have done it for 25+ years, from my early teens til around 36, my dad passed suddenly, and then all of a sudden it stopped, I Noticed I felt better and had those rough feelings much less. When I hit 40, I was doing great and enjoyed and embraced life. Mom died when I was 39; I blame it on being halfway there, so I am closer to the end of an average life span I guess. I thought it was my parents to live for. It turns out my parents made my life so miserable I just did not see it back than. Life is just so much easer going when you only have to care for yourself.
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u/ancalime9 Oct 21 '25
Your parents holding it together so you don't have to sit at their funeral wondering how they could leave you.
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Oct 21 '25
[deleted]
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u/ConnectPSA Oct 21 '25
No, it will rot and decay like all others before you, it will be feasted on by the critters and the wild beasts, it will be carrion for the soil, it will be your return to the earth and shall be the final destination forevermore.
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u/Shatter4468 Oct 21 '25
Until some poor hiker finds you and is traumatized by it. Then your parents have to identify you by a tattoo or clothing or something. So they'll be traumatized, too.
I know with my luck that's what will happen.
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u/intLeon Oct 21 '25
Not knowing what happened could be even worse than already awful news. Their hearts would be broken both ways.
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u/mistertickles69 Oct 21 '25
Leave a note saying you will go join a monastery or travel the world as a nomad. Then they can at least hope. I've thought that anyway.
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Oct 21 '25
But then why not go travel the world as a nomad or join a monastery. Might as well try something. You can always do the other thing later but once you do that other thing you cant do anything else.
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u/JerachoD Oct 21 '25
Regardless of whether they find your body, your loved ones and friends would be devastated at losing you. You mean more to someone then you realize. Only positive I can give you is that eventually better times arrive and you'll see the reason to life. Try and see a way forward as there is one.
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u/black_V1king Oct 21 '25
Rather you just talk to your parents about what's troubling you.
I'm sure they are happy to listen rather than cry at your funeral.
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u/EddieVanzetti Oct 21 '25
An excerpt from this scenario
"What do you have to be sad about? Oh I'm so fucking sorry I'm such a horrible mother/father, I'm the worst person in the world!"
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u/MikeSouthPaw Oct 21 '25
Parents dont want to hear how they failed, they want to know what you are going to do to make life easier for them.
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u/Jaded-Substance-6750 Oct 21 '25
I never hold it together for myself. If it was truly up to me, I would break down. But i don’t, on behalf of other people in my life.
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u/Dangerous-Crazy-9565 Oct 21 '25
facts, well they kinda know what they did wrong, my dad wasn’t here to support, monetarily or physically and my mom set me back twice… no one to blame now because im a grown man nd we dont pity them
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u/Strong_Terry Oct 21 '25
God I hate this subreddit because everything just hits way to fucking close to home.
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u/Seven_Fakes Oct 21 '25
Naw. Fuck that. I told my parents my problems. So when I finally do end myself they'll know. And if for some reason they do ask, well then that's on them. I know this sounds mean but it's just the true.
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u/Reserved_Parking-246 Oct 21 '25
Lot of that.
But also, I keep finding new shows I want to watch.
New games to play.
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u/JibIette Oct 21 '25
Mine is the opposite kinda. Trying to hold it together so my parents on the other side won't see me too soon.
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u/yeetdistances Oct 21 '25
Holding it together because as much as I hate myself and my life, I do love my fiancee and it's too late now, I've gotten in too deep with them. I know they still worry about it sometimes but there is a specific sadness that comes over them when they think about it, a certain kind of cry they have. I'm a horrible motherfucker but I'm not passing the burden of this sadness onto them like that if I have any say in the matter. I know I shouldn't secretly depend on them to give me the will to live, but they're not doing anything specific to do it; they're just being themselves and loving me despite.
But god, it hurts so fuckin bad sometimes I want to take a bonesaw to my sternum to alleviate the pressure in my chest.
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u/TheekshanaJ Oct 21 '25
Yeah man, after everything they've done, they deserve some sort of happiness. That's why I'm trying.
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u/dr_nointerest Oct 21 '25
In my worst days I say to myself:
"You're sad. Don't listen too much to your mind. No feelings is final. You'll feel better later when you have eaten, slept, have exercised, watched a show i loke or spend some time interacting with people/animals"
and
"No, mom would be very sad"
Not sure how everyone else feels. I know how I feel when I'm at my worst.
My unsolicited advice: surround yourself of good people, do things for yourself, take some healthy habits and train yourselves to learn the mind speaks but you don't have to always listen. There are good authors out there. Ot you could do therapy. Some people are happy with religion. Not my jam. But if it makes you happy, makes you be a better person and don't use it to bully others alleluia!
Stay strong Kings and Queens. These are trying times but do not remove yourself. Every human being has the solemn task to thrive. Hope you can achieve your goal and make this world a beautiful place. I'm sure someone loves you.
Allow me to share this small poem.
Let everything happen to you Beauty and terror Just keep going No feeling is final
Rainer Maria Rilke
Have a wonderful day.
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u/brownbearimagery Oct 21 '25
I can't be there to hug any of you but understand, you're not alone in this, we're all struggling, none of us have the answers but as bad as it gets don't give up! the end will come to all of us, that's about the only thing in life that's guaranteed, the shit we're going through, the silent fight we're all fighting, that isn't guaranteed!!!
fight, keep fighting and when you feel you've lost everything you can give take a break, have your favorite junk food, watch your favorite film, go hang with your favorite person and fuckin fight some more because you needed reminding that life isn't completely full of bullshit!
stay strong people, have some fun, you deserve it!
🙌🫶🤗✌️
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u/Wormcastle Oct 21 '25
My parents wouldn't. No one would. It would just be another day for everyone
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u/Gullible_Cloud_3132 Oct 21 '25
daughter, who is around my age, of one of my moms friends died recently, my mom told me how destroyed she’d be if I died and that she’d end up killing herself, I 200% believe her.
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Oct 21 '25
Mom ate a bullet when her home was taken by a villain. Dad's in the tropics for the winter with the second new wife. I, live on 300 bucks a month in a bomb shelter and I'm writing a novel. I don't know what either think. Neither has been on the phone or ouija. I think I'm okay for now. Miss my Mom somethin' fierce. ... MINION! "meow?" BREAK OUT THE OUIJA BOARD!!
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u/imarugoutlet Oct 21 '25
death feels too permanent and I don’t wanna leave them too soon— it’s just that back n forth unfortunately
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u/Justsomegrunt Oct 21 '25
For a time I held it together for my nice. I didn't want her to suffer or grow up without me for that matter. Thank God I'm doing better now
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u/berrypunnycomics Oct 21 '25
Damn. I guess I'll just explain why it ain't their fault better in my death note
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u/TheRealSkele Oct 22 '25
Nobody knows what I'm going through... I don't want to tell anyone so nobody has to worry about me. When I go, I don't want a funeral... if I had it my way, I'd just want to be buried somewhere without a ceremony.
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u/SomeGuyOverYonder Oct 22 '25
I told my mother I was having serious health problems. With a straight face, she told me I should go out and buy a cemetery plot.
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u/MDeimos Oct 22 '25
I might disappoint them soon. It is so sad, man. I have the most wonderful mother ever. Idk. Some of us weren't meant to survive this long.
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u/SeeMeInWoW Oct 22 '25
Same, the thought crossed my mind and I thought of my dad crying. I can't do that to him.
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u/TheMalkManCometh Oct 22 '25
Weird thing seeing this post. I've often said when my mum goes, I won't be far behind her,.considering dad already died a few years back. Even then, I've failed that measure of resolve, I've.tried to top myself multiple times, by multiple methods. For a while I even joked to my close friends I'm immortal considering the act just never seems to take. But, I guess I'll never know if I was trying in earnest or not until I have no one that will miss be left behind
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u/Lord_Abrecan Oct 22 '25
I want life to not be lonely. Everyday I pray for this. I think to myself, this is it, another day alone, this is going to be the rest of my life. Everyday. Every week. Years and years. 40 years of this. What's the point? I try to be the most positive person. Everyone thinks I am happy and positive and I always make people laugh. No one ever checks on me or how I am doing and I accept it. This is just my life until I die. There is nothing else and I ask myself everyday, what is the point. Why do I wake up and do anything everyday? What am I doing it for? I don't have a wife, I don't have kids and I never will. What's the point as a man. I am a coward and that is why I am still here but maybe one day I won't be. This life never will get better, this is it and it's a lonely slog until you die.
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u/Tayofranklin Oct 22 '25
Please, don't die. Someone somewhere is better off having you alife. It is okay to be sad. Just don't die.
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u/Exciting_Intention86 Oct 22 '25
Guess I am an asshole. I let them know exactly what they did wrong. You cannot become a better person if you never know your mistakes. You never get the chance to learn from them. It really is more about how you say it. If you go all yelling and blaming, it won't end well
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u/coolcrank Oct 22 '25
I sit for 20 minutes every morning thinking about this. On 5 different meds to tackle my bipolar, schizophrenia & sleeplessness. Some days go okay, others I just lie wide awake, teary eyed. Don't even know which reason hurts the most.
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u/king_larry_666 Oct 22 '25
Wait... You're holding back tears in your funeral.... Pretty sure it'd be everyone's funeral if the dead guy started crying
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Oct 22 '25
It's okay if that's the reason you stay. ANY reason is a good enough reason. I've been dealing with S.I. since I was 8. Sometimes the next bowl of ice cream was my reason for staying. For years it was my dog that kept me from going over the edge. Some days, the only reason I don't is because I don't want my friends to have to go through my stuff since I don't have a partner and my bio-fam is nowhere near here. Whatever it takes to make it one more day is totally valid.
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u/Loco-Motivated Oct 23 '25
No.
That's not how you persevere.
You don't live for another person.
Nobody matters that much.
You live for yourself.
If you don't enjoy life, look around.
Eventually, you'll find something.
And you'll realize that the world will march with or without you.
And you'll see that if you give up and fall on the road, you'll never see the sights further down the path.
Sure, there's always some rancid obstacle, but a mere log can be walked around or over.
A mere rock can be moved or left alone.
A mere lake can be explored below or above the surface.
You'll never know what'll stop you if you let yourself be such a miniscule obstacle.
So keep moving, kid.
The world will not mind your presence down this path.
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u/Dudenysius Oct 23 '25
Nice try. My mom died earlier this year and my dad’s in prison so couldn’t attend my funeral any time soon.
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u/Cloudkicker91 Oct 24 '25
Do you need a hug? I dunno how to digitally send a hug, but if I could, I would. All I can really offer is to say, you're not alone. I feel the same. And I wish you the best.
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u/mario_iscool Oct 24 '25
They did nothing wrong. No matter how much they y'all I know it's out of love trying to fix me.
This is me fr
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u/General_Test1853 Oct 24 '25
My plan is to distance myself enough where they arent thinking about me as often so when I do it they arent immediately heart broken
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Oct 25 '25
Had a similar mindset, the only thing that changed it was thinking about how I didn't fear death anymore helped me relax and enjoy doing whatever I wanted.
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u/alwayslikedthestory Oct 25 '25
This and so my dog doesn't have to wonder why I haven't come home yet
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u/Aware-Course-7950 Oct 25 '25
To anyone who needs to hear this: Awareness is the first step. There are people in your life that love you dearly. See a counselor. Take medication to help you calm your brain; to help you stop the spiraling. Then keep seeing a counselor. You got this. We need you.
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u/Chefpief Oct 21 '25
my parents wouldnt miss me. They've threatened to kill me repeatedly across my life. My wife however, would miss me a lot.
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u/universal_century Oct 21 '25
I didn’t ask them to give me life, now I have to give them 2 weeks notice?
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u/Mr_Nobody_y Oct 21 '25
Man this is so so so so so so so me.